We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Gabby Jimenez a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Gabby, thank you so much for opening up with us about some important, but sometimes personal topics. One that really matters to us is overcoming Imposter Syndrome because we’ve seen how so many people are held back in life because of this and so we’d really appreciate hearing about how you overcame Imposter Syndrome.
I don’t think you ever overcome imposter syndrome. Even though I am confident in the work that I do, in what I know, and what I can offer patients and their loved ones, I often think to myself, “who am I to be telling them how to do this?” I see the look in their eyes when they are afraid, and when they look to me for guidance and support, and I never want to let them down… but what if I do? We walk into their home, when someone they love is dying, and they are trusting us in the biggest of ways, and that can be intimidating, leaving us questioning ourselves. In many ways I think if we didn’t have imposter syndrome, our ego would be entering the room before we do and I don’t want to be that nurse or end-of-life doula. I do not think I am a phony or an imposter, I think I am good at what I do, I am competent and I am qualified to do this work, but that doesn’t remove the moments when I might question myself. It keeps me humble, it reminds me that I do not know it all, and it is why I am always learning and growing in this field.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I am a hospice nurse and an end-of-life doula… I provide comfort and support to someone who is dying, as well as for those who are preparing to say goodbye to them. People often ask me how I can do this work, suggesting how hard, or even depressing it might be to witness so much death. But what most people do not understand is that while I do see a lot of death, the number nearing 2,000, that is not all I see. I witness the strength and comfort of faith, and the beauty of culture and tradition. I see family love and even their disconnect. I see strength, bravery, and courage, and I see love on so many levels. I have the honor and privilege to be present for each unique end-of-life journey, and I find that to be incredibly beautiful.
Can it be depressing? No, I don’t think it is depressing. Can it be sad? Absolutely. I cry often when I see someone take their last breath, and when I watch those at the bedside say goodbye. I am often reminded of the many goodbyes I have said. Death is final… there are no do overs.
This work is not easy, and it does take a toll. That is when self-care becomes mandatory. But it also teaches me a lot about life, and how fragile it can be. It teaches me about time, and how much we waste. I am living my life fuller, and savoring each day because of what I do. This works fills my heart with gratitude. We live and we die, it’s what we do in between that matters and this work has changed the way I live my “in between.”
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
I didn’t start doing this work until I was in my late forties, and what I realize now is that I don’t think I could have done it earlier on. I would not have been ready to fully understand the meaning of being completely present for another human being. My life has had a lot of ups and downs, I have taken many paths often in the wrong direction, and I have experienced deep sadness, as well as extreme joy. All of it led me to do this work, and gave me the tools to do it well.
Once we are able to see our past as lessons secretly guiding us to where we are supposed to be, we can then stop feeling regret or disappointment for some of it, and instead see it all as worth it. I have always thought how wrong things went for me, and now I am thankful, because I am a stronger, kinder, and more compassionate human being because of all of it.
I think we have to find a way to see the lessons and trust the path.
My three most important qualities for myself and what I look for in others, is honesty, patience, and authenticity. Be the best you that you can possibly be, and be okay with that. See yourself as enough. And if there is something you are feeling called to do, and it might be hard to get there, do not give up. I almost gave up and now I am doing work that I love. You have to work hard, don’t expect it to just happen, make it happen. You will be prouder of yourself for what it took to get you where you dream of being,
Who has been most helpful in helping you overcome challenges or build and develop the essential skills, qualities or knowledge you needed to be successful?
There are a few people who stand out in my life who I credit for me being where I am now.
In elementary school there was a teacher who made me feel seen. I did not have a love-filled childhood, and she knew it. She would invite me to sit in her backyard and have tea parties with her. She would get me to share my dreams with her about what I hoped to do when I grew up. She gave me hope that I would be okay and it was always her voice in my head when I doubted myself.
When I decided to go to nursing school, I didn’t have the money and I was already prepared for it not to happen. But there was a woman there whose name is Toni and she would not let me give up despite how hard it was. She helped me get a grant and loans for the program. And after passing the prerequisites and getting accepted, she needed my high school diploma, which I never received. She agreed to save my spot until I passed the GED, which I did. She wanted this for me as much as I did, and I would not be doing this work now if it were not for her.
Since the day I graduated nursing school, I have been gifted with so many mentors who have shared their knowledge and experience with me. I have learned from nurses, chaplains, social workers, caregivers, volunteers and doctors who generously handed over their tools and then showed me how to use them. I am this nurse because of them.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.thehospiceheart.net
- Instagram: @gabrielle.elise.jimenez
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thehospiceheart.net/
