We recently connected with Laura Pahules and have shared our conversation below.
Laura, we’re thrilled to have you on our platform and we think there is so much folks can learn from you and your story. Something that matters deeply to us is living a life and leading a career filled with purpose and so let’s start by chatting about how you found your purpose.
I experienced childhood domestic violence growing up. All of my memories, what I can remember from growing up were full of terror and uncertainty. I experienced all forms of abuse and neglect with no one ever stepping in to intervene or offer any help at all.
Then at a young age I married an abuser not understanding that type of behavior wasn’t normal. When I tried to talk to my family about it I was met with “At least you haven’t ended up in the hospital” and “It’s not that bad” when in truth it was “that bad” and worse.
After escaping my abuser I experienced years of post-separation abuse coupled with extreme judicial abuse.
Through all of these experiences I knew that at some point in my life I wanted to be able to help victims of domestic violence. I wanted to be able to help Survivors escape their abusers. I wanted to erase the shame my family insisted on keeping hidden and bring it out into the open so no one else ever felt so isolated and alone.
In September of 2019 I founded Control Alt Delete LLC, a federally designated 501(c)3 nonprofit that helps Survivors of domestic violence escape their abuser.
My purpose was found in helping Survivors escape, in letting them know they aren’t alone and that no matter what anyone says that abuse was NEVER their fault or their shame.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I founded Control Alt Delete to remove the barriers that keep people in in safe domestic violence situations by providing one time assistance to help them escape. We bridge a gap in services and are creating a Society of Survivors.
After years of working in the nonprofit sector I knew how I wanted to found and run Control Alt Delete and the principles we would use to help. I learned so much from each nonprofit I worked for and most importantly I learned exactly what I did not want to do.
From the very beginning I was adamant that Control Alt Delete would provide one time assistance only. I know for myself all I needed was one chance to escape and I grabbed it. Even though the national statistics show it takes on average 7 times for a Survivor to escape for good without returning to their abuser; I knew there would be Survivors like myself that would only need one chance. I wanted to empower Survivors and not enable them by helping time and time again.
My plan was to help Survivors get to their support network, their safety. I believed that if we could help them get away and be where they had a strong support group there would be a less likelihood of them returning to the abuser. Control Alt Delete has a 97% success rate of Survivors not returning to their abuser.
Today 3/26/2024 since 9/2/2019 Control Alt Delete has facilitated 24,724 escapes from domestic violence that have included 46,645 children – who are all now safe!
I knew there was a need for Control Alt Delete, I did not know how great that need would be. Control Alt Delete is simple in the approach to assistance but extremely effective.
Control Alt Delete is hoping to expand to better serve Southern Arizona by opening a remote office/storage facility. We have the land and are fundraising for capitol to purchase a prefab building and the utility infrastructure. This location will be called Control Alt Delete ~ Off the Beaten Path. In true Control Alt Delete fashion we will not go into debt to make this a reality. I believe that an agency with debt fundraises to pay that debt instead of serving their clients and mission.
Control Alt Delete is 100% volunteer run with $1 of every dollar donated going directly to helping Survivors escape their abuser.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Documentation and accurate record keeping has got to be the number 1 most important skill. Fortunately with my technology background I was able to build a database that accurately captures all vital information. I can tell you exactly how every single penny that has been donated to Control Alt Delete has been used. I can tell you in seconds what the largest needs are and services provided. I can pull a report that shows exactly which organizations come to Control Alt Delete for assistance and the exact amount of funding it has taken to help each agency.
Definition of services and clarity of the mission are vital. On average Control Alt Delete facilitates 30 escapes from domestic violence a day but also filters out another 50-60 requests daily that do not fall within the mission or scope of the agency. Control Alt Delete helps people who are actively escaping domestic violence.
Creativity is a strong asset to have. I have had to come up with some pretty creative fundraising ideas and every day try to come up with more.
Any advice for folks feeling overwhelmed?
Dealing with all the ugly that goes along with escapes from domestic violence can be overwhelming, especially as a Survivor myself.
While each Survivor is unique the circumstances that bring them to Control Alt Delete are all eerily similar and can be a trigger for me at times. Details of abuse are often horrific and something you cannot unread. Fortunately most of the advocates, prosecutor office and crisis response teams I work with know I do not need the details of the actual abuse but there are times when the abuse needs to be substantiated and I have to read those horrific details.
On those days I try to take a hike, a bike ride or go kayaking. Nature helps soothe my soul.
My advice is to identify activities ahead of time that help in stressful situations and have supplies and a plan at the ready.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://dvcontrolaltdelete.org/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dv.ctrlaltdel/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dv.ctrlaltdel
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/dv-control-alt-delete/
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/dvctrlaltdel
- Other: https://www.tiktok.com/@dv.ctrlaltdel
