Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Brandy Wells. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Brandy , we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?
This has definitely developed over time only because of the lack of awareness around self esteem in my younger days. I believe every woman goes through a cycle of not always showing up as their best self. But when you do it feels so good that you begin to learn the ways to do that more often. I would be remised if I didn’t honor my daughters who have taught me about confidence. Not intentionally but because of their presence. When I became a mother I would judge myself because of the influx of weight gain. This unrealistic vision I had to be exactly who I was pre-kids was insane looking back. I have realized that there is a transformation that happens within the mind, body, and spirit in motherhood. I questioned my own perceptions of beauty and begin to recognize how esteem was attached to ego. Now going into my 40s I’m proud of the stretch marks, the work I am leading in my career, and the family I have built. I’ve had to stop the negative self talk to be a better example to my girls on being your own best fan. I also showcase rest, and movement. They see me workout daily, but they also see me say “no”. We now know that when you master the mind there’s nothing you can’t do. That’s confidence.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
I am now a leader at a Nationally acclaimed hospital where we focus on supporting adolescents and families in crisis. My background is in childhood mental health with a focus on intergenerational trauma. My purpose was discovered after having children of my own. I begin to do a deep dive in my parenting practices and recognized that parenting does not come with a manuscript but is instinctual. I begin to share my own story as a little girl and how it has guided me today. I begin speaking to those around me about parental mental health, and that our children are only as healthy as their caregivers. I’ve done a Ted Talk, spoken on panels, wrote publications, and directly supported children and caregivers in my local community. Now I guilde other clinicians who are committed to doing the work alongside families.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
To remember that everyone you meet is experiencing you. Leave people with a compassionate experience. This has been evident through “My Motherhood Magic” this is where I show up as my authentic self to empower parents. It has provided me a multitude of opportunities.
To focus on the here and now. Nothing is more precious than the current moment. This allows for gratitude and understanding.
Master your mind. Get in control of your own thoughts and feelings. Understand that you are the determining factor of how life treats you and how you experience life.
Before we go, any advice you can share with people who are feeling overwhelmed?
Practice the pause. Give yourself 5 seconds so you can begin to regulate. Nothing good comes from being dysregulated. Deregulation can look like being overwhelmed, anxious, depressed, agitated, sensory sensitive, etc. Try taking a few deep breathes, and reframe how you are perceiving things. This is when you can tap in to positive reframing. “I am not overwhelmed, I have been giving the gift of having a lot of options, what needs to be finished first”
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