Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Stephanae McCoy. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Stephanae, so great to have you sharing your thoughts and wisdom with our readers and so let’s jump right into one of our favorite topics – empathy. We think a lack of empathy is at the heart of so many issues the world is struggling with and so our hope is to contribute to an environment that fosters the development of empathy. Along those lines, we’d love to hear your thoughts around where your empathy comes from?
Picture a woman, who experienced a lifelong struggle with major depression, single motherhood, substance abuse, physical abuse, and homelessness. Nearly convinced of her worthlessness from her relentless self-criticism, the profound depths of despair convinced her to make multiple attempts at taking her own life.
As thick darkness descended like an avalanche, engulfing her, in the distance a tiny flicker of light would beckon her through the murky gloom. Weighed down as though walking through waist-high mud, she pushed forward with each step a small victory. Her unwavering drive and steadfast belief in the boundless possibilities of life fueled her.
This woman is me; I am a survivor still fighting to show up daily.
As a black woman, over 60, and living with an acquired disability – blindness, I know the importance of social justice and the painful sting of exclusion. Being different often results in “othering” and ‘no one wants nor deserves to be diminished.’
My highly sensitive, introverted nature stems from being raised in a hostile environment filled with fear and uncertainty. I recognize my fight-or-flight response was ignited at a young age and resulted in me feeling helpless, worthless, and voiceless. These differences contributed to my inherent empathy.
I eventually discovered my worth through my work. Serving as an Executive Assistant for a retail management firm enhanced my skills and created opportunities for growth and excellence. Traveling wasn’t on my radar, yet I’ve traveled across numerous states in the US and outside the country. I felt invincible.
Never in my wildest dreams, did I imagine my journey would lead to working at one of the “big four” accounting firms. How could a single mom with three sons and no college degree, end up at such a prestigious organization? Perseverance. By defying expectations and proving determination and resilience transcend formal education, I was promoted to Regional Lead Project Coordinator.
My career was fulfilling, but volunteering elevated my sense of purpose. Collaborating with non-profit organizations from an early age enriched my soul, empowering me to discover my voice, and propelling me toward disability advocacy.
Advocating for my son and mother, each with unique disabilities, led to my transformation from a helpless child to an assertive defender. My advocacy secured victories against a school system, an apartment management firm, and the Social Security Administration.
One day in 2005, while standing in my bathroom, I removed my right contact lens, and in an instant, could no longer see my face’s reflection in the mirror. Although a strange and uncomfortable feeling came over me, I brushed it off and attributed it to a recent change in medication. I removed the left contact lens and everything returned to its previous blurry state.
The following day I made an emergency appointment with an ophthalmologist. I was referred to a retinal specialist who believed he could restore my sight. The treatment was intense and required injecting a gas bubble into my eye and then keeping my head in a downward position for several weeks.
After receiving a positive prognosis from the retina specialist, I hoped my eye function would be restored. However, things didn’t go as planned. Over four years, I required multiple major eye surgeries on both eyes. Additionally, several unrelated eye conditions such as a torn retina, glaucoma, cataracts, and uveitis (inflammation in the eye) arose.
The surgeries and eye diseases severely affected my vision and I am now legally blind. My remaining sight is only measured by finger counting or hand waving.
As a blind woman, I was faced with another type of “othering” while navigating the complexities of living with a disability. It can feel as though people only see my disability once they see my white cane. However, little do they know that since losing my sight, I have built a thriving community through Bold Blind Beauty. Bold Blind Beauty is an advocacy platform that empowers and connects people, sharing stories of triumph over obstacles faced by those on the blindness spectrum.
I believe every person deserves to be seen, heard, and valued. This conviction, coupled with my commitment to doing what is right empowers me to speak up when necessary. Being recognized as a trustworthy and approachable person by others is the greatest compliment I can receive, especially given my intense nature. Establishing genuine connections with other human beings is a treasure beyond comparison.
My empathy and resilience are shaped by the adversity and traumas I experienced. It led me to understand the importance of accepting individuals where they are, as they are. Blindness exists on a spectrum, and so too does humanity. There is a wide range of experiences, emotions, and perspectives. Embracing that diversity fosters empathy, understanding, and compassion towards others, regardless of their circumstances or differences.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
I am the founder of Bold Blind Beauty and an advocate who is passionate for empowering and uplifting individuals who are blind or have low vision. Losing my sight later in life inspired me to create Bold Blind Beauty. It is an advocacy platform that demystifies blindness through storytelling. Our mission is to change perceptions and champion A.I.R. (Access, Inclusion, and Representation) to amplify the voices of people with disabilities.
At Bold Blind Beauty I am its Editor-in-Chief, managing and maintaining the website. I curate, upload, and format content, add alt-text to images for accessibility, manage the e-commerce and print-on-demand components, oversee the On A.I.R. podcast with video and audio editing, and manage social media.
While the spotlight rightfully shines on the stories featured on the site, it’s important to acknowledge the unsung heroes behind the scenes—the team of volunteers who generously contribute their time, talents, and voices. Their unwavering belief in Bold Blind Beauty’s mission fuels my passion and strengthens me to persist in pursuing my purpose. Together, we strive to reshape perceptions and celebrate the diversity that makes each person unique.
Bold Blind Beauty provides a platform for people living with blindness to share their stories, and viewpoints, and promote inclusivity and representation in the media. Through storytelling, we raise awareness about the capabilities and achievements of people on the blindness spectrum. The platform fosters a supportive community that advocates for accessibility, inclusion, empowerment, and creating a sense of belonging.
Entrepreneurship is already a difficult path, and disability can make it a challenge to feel as effective as before my sight loss. However, I am determined to continue pushing forward because it is important to show that our circumstances do not define our worth.
In 2023 I was diagnosed with a Mild Cognitive Impairment after experiencing symptoms similar to those associated with dementia. My mom, aunt, and grandmother were diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, and I felt it essential to establish a baseline for myself. Despite these challenges, I remain committed to advancing the mission of Bold Blind Beauty, but with an added sense of urgency.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
A strong work ethic, perseverance, and belief in possibilities are the three qualities that have had the most significant impact on my journey.
I developed a strong work ethic at a young age, despite being bullied for my dedication to studying. I took pride in being a diligent student and achieving good grades, with reading, arts, and crafts being my favorite hobbies. Creating art was especially meaningful to me, as the appreciation of my extended family uplifted and encouraged me to continue. This passion for hard work and creativity has carried over into my professional life, which I have enjoyed ever since.
I credit my perseverance to my difficult upbringing. As someone highly sensitive, it sometimes amazes me that I survived. Despite facing numerous obstacles, some of which resulted from my poor life choices, I learned the hard way how to bounce back. Whenever someone told me that I couldn’t achieve something, I became determined to prove them wrong. And, more often than not, I succeeded.
I developed a belief in possibilities as a result of my childhood traumas. Ralph Waldo Emerson’s, “Do not follow where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and make a trail,” has always resonated with me. For me, it means anything is possible if we follow our hearts. There was nothing online like Bold Blind Beauty when I created it. Blind women still are seldom featured on fashion or beauty magazine covers, so I created one. It is my path.
To those just beginning their journey, learn to accept and appreciate yourselves just as you are. Know your true self, it is a continuous process. As we age, we continue to evolve. When you do periodic self-assessments you can know who you are, and let no one else define you. This is self-ownership.
Be curious and always keep learning. Be a collector of knowledge. Understand that life is full of challenges and setbacks, but these things do not have to define you. Keep pushing to reach your goals, no matter how difficult. When you’ve achieved your goals, set new ones, and keep growing.
Whatever you choose to do, make sure it ignites your inner passion. Stay true to your principles. Never compromise your values, for anything or anyone. You are unique and special. Embrace yourself for who you are and keep evolving.
Any advice for folks feeling overwhelmed?
I tend to crash and burn when I feel overwhelmed so I work to identify early signs of stress to avoid becoming inundated. It’s a work in progress as I sometimes feel an urgency to get things done, and often push myself to the brink. When I do this, I have to take time and recover. It’s a vicious cycle, but I’ve developed a few things that help me cope.
I have weekly meetings with the Bold Blind Beauty team where we support and encourage each other. It’s a safe space where we can vent frustrations and be completely vulnerable. I keep a small group of close confidants I trust and know care about my well-being. Their regular checking in on me is incredibly helpful. I also keep a “Do Not Give Up” folder containing positive and encouraging messages from people who follow Bold Blind Beauty. It reminds me that what I’m doing matters and keeps me going.
I prioritize self-care by taking my dog on long walks whenever I need a break from work or to clear my head. I remind myself to breathe and reduce my stress levels by using Post-it notes on my laptop, bathroom mirror, and nightstand for motivation. As a visually impaired individual, I rely on assistive technology, but I turn off notifications to avoid distractions. I find morning meditation helpful in calming my mind. Lastly, I enjoy listening to audiobooks to unwind and relax.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.boldblindbeauty.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/boldblindbeauty/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/boldblindbeauty
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephanaemccoy/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/c/BoldBlindBeauty
