We were lucky to catch up with Sascha Illyvich recently and have shared our conversation below.
Sascha, first a big thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and insights with us today. I’m sure many of our readers will benefit from your wisdom, and one of the areas where we think your insight might be most helpful is related to imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is holding so many people back from reaching their true and highest potential and so we’d love to hear about your journey and how you overcame imposter syndrome.
Warning, darling reader. I’m adjusting to my new graveyard shift, and it’s been a learning experience.. What this means to you, darling reader, is I have no filter. Be thankful this isn’t a day I choose to drink first thing after work, at 8 AM!
Imposter syndrome…imposter syndrome? What was that again? Oh, right. The belief that you’re delusional when you’re doing “the thing” whatever it is. Be it creating art, writing romance novels, rocking it at the job, you somehow still have it in your mind that you’re faking it. It doesn’t matter if you’re a best-selling author, you’re crushing it at the job, or like me, good in all the right locations…you still somehow believe that talent isn’t real.
The very idea of Imposter Syndrome is illogical, frankly.
For argument’s sake, let’s assume you’re just that good at faking things.
So, what? Are you getting paid, or are you receiving recognition? If so, good. That’s the first step.
If not, why the hell not?
Regardless of your answer to that loaded question, the reality is this: Imposter Syndrome, like much of the shit in our heads, is made up. Seriously. It’s your mind playing tricks on you to keep you safe.
As T. Harv Eker is fond of saying, “Don’t believe a thought you think.”
Why not? Your brain wants to protect you, keep you safe. If you’re succeeding, your mind hasn’t been taught to think of the upcoming challenges as just that. Challenges. Not pressures, not things to fear, but opportunities. What if you write that novel that makes you a healthy living so you can tell your boss to GFY? Then what, the pressure is that you’re going to have to top that? And if you do, can you repeat it? What if you do repeat said success, all while suffering the crippling anxiety (also made up) of succeeding? What if at every faucet of your “thing” you overcome things and succeed? Then what? See what I mean about Imposter Syndrome being illogical?
Or is the challenge to improve as a writer by writing another book, using the lessons you’ve learned from the first one? Or an opportunity to build a relationship with coworkers who share a similar passion with you?
The most interesting thing about mental states is that they can often be fixed by words.
Yes, words. What words are you speaking? What are you telling your SELF? How do you talk about yourself, because your SELF hears that shit and processes it, providing feedback to you as more of whatever you tell your SELF. How do you talk TO your SELF because, see the previous point.
Because your brain thinks it knows best, it will BY DEFAULT, try to shut down any new ideas that attempt to move you remove you from your comfort zone. It will do this to keep you safe because it thinks DANGER=BAD.
For much of the world, that would be a correct statement. And our brains are wrong here.
If YOU however, tell your brain a different story (because it’s all a story) it will have to go with it, eventually. And once you FEEL how you want to feel as a winner, The Universe, Source, whatever you call it, will deliver exactly what you want, or it will conspire with you to give you something else. That’s its one job.
Deliver.
Want to shift that thought? Let me ask you, how do you want to feel? Focus on that, and ask yourself what kinds of thoughts you’d have if you felt like you wanted to? Set your focus there.
I know this is a severely oversimplified answer to a seemingly complex question.
That’s how it works. It’s overly simple because children are overly simple. Adults are the dumb fucks who complicate shit by thinking a problem cannot have a simple solution because we’ve been conditioned.
For the record, I never had Imposter Syndrome because it doesn’t exist. As a published, from day one romance and erotica, author, I believe I have talent, BUT because I stepped into a female dominated genre, I might have had a little luck from the Universe too 😉
Don’t you deserve to have the Universe at your back too?
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
I’ve done a variety of things over my adult life, from technical phone support of Microsoft products. I’ve been a technical editor for DineEquity under a different name. I’ve hosted two podcasts, one on Romance publishing, the other, a cigar and wine education related one. I’m also an accomplished Toastmaster, having reached Accomplished Communicator level Bronze, which I highly recommend. Bartender, cigar retailer, I’ve had some fun.
Through all of that, I have been and am a published romance author since 1999, with over fifty titles out in a variety of romance genres, most notably paranormal romance. I enjoy the depth of emotion between two characters, be they both paranormal, or only the hero or heroine, and wish to provide my readers with the message of “Hope” at the end of my novels.
I’m an avid cigar enthusiast, wine connoisseur, a practicing (but somewhat lazy) witch, and have been reading Tarot for over twenty years. Music plays a huge part in all that I do, be it daily existence, or writing. I usually listen to progressive death metal, groove metal and some death core. Frankly though, you’ll find me at the local cigar lounge, listening to Afro-beats, old Jazz and blues, or at the cigar club where a lot of old hip hop reigns.
My characters, angsty as they may be, all seem to center on trust issues and that’s been a huge theme in most of my work. To be fair, I only made that the issue when I wrote BDSM romance.
I’m an option trader, as an extension of taking more risk. Trading options isn’t risky, recognizing opportunity and seizing it, can be. The older I grow, the more important this becomes to my life’s philosophy.
My latest trilogy starts with “Protecting the Siren. and can be found om Amazon. Purchase or Kindle Unlimited.
“There must be light in all this darkness.” – said some Witchy Wolf
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Intention – Set it, focus on it, know it’ll arrive as you want, or better. Perseverance – Continue to focus on that intention, doing the things you need to do, while you keep your mind right. Life will fuck with you, but you can weather the storm.
Gratitude – almost the biggest one, as what you’re focused on increases. And if you’re grateful for even the smallest things in life, you’ll see substantial rewards.
Read. Grow your mind, grow your heart. As you do, you’ll find your purpose.
Lastly, this will only make sense if you’ve read “Way of the Peaceful Warrior.” Keep your appointment with Infinity.
Okay, so before we go, is there anyone you’d like to shoutout for the role they’ve played in helping you develop the essential skills or overcome challenges along the way?
My Cigar Fam – Fellowshipping has helped to keep my mind right.
Contact Info:
- Website: http://saschaillyvichauthor.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/SaschaIllyvich/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RomanceAuthorSaschaIllyvich
- Linkedin: Pfft, who still uses that?
- Twitter: Nope, I’m an Edge Lord…
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/saschaillyvich
Image Credits
Covers courtesy of Glowing Moon Designs
