We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Tonya Parker a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Tonya, thanks for sitting with us today to chat about topics that are relevant to so many. One of those topics is communication skills, because we live in an age where our ability to communicate effectively can be like a superpower. Can you share how you developed your ability to communicate well?
I think as a child, I was perceived as a good communicator. I was a voracious reader and developed an extensive vocabulary. It was nothing for me to naturally use what we called “an SAT word.” I also loved word games and puzzles, as did my mother. I always tell folks I was weaned on Scrabble, and the children in our family played just as well as the college- and law school-educated adults. Little did I know I have an intuitive gift with words—it’s why I have become that opponent to beat playing Words with friends!
I also acted in church and school plays from an early age, and competed in public speaking contests for the 4-H Club. Once I got to The College of William & Mary, I continued the acting bug and was cast in a few plays. I also was impacted by my Voice and Diction class, and tutored a couple of students in it.
At W&M I got to learn about different cultures and groups through Sociology, Psychology, Anthropology and African Studies classes. I also got to actually meet people from backgrounds very different from my small rural town of Warsaw, VA. I discovered my gift of gab and Libra nature enabled me to easily connect with people. When it was time to choose a career, I easily gravitated to counseling. I stayed at W&M to add 2 graduate degrees in Counseling to my BA in Sociology, and eventually became Licensed and practiced in a couple of local behavioral health systems. I eventually went to massage school to experience a different type of client connection. There I learned of another intuitive skill—body connection and communication. That then led me down the rabbit hole of holistic health and wellness, which I balanced while transitioning into a career out of behavioral health system and into the corporate arena. I landed a dream job as a Corporate Trainer for a health system, and further honed my communication skills as I taught that topic to employees and managers, as well as conflict management, coaching, and more. But my “side hustle” of massage, by then accompanied by Reiki energy healing, kept taking me deeper into the woo woo. After five years I left the best job ever to leap into the unknown—working for ME!
This began a beautiful and challenging journey into self. I started to learn that I communicated well in the career arena, even teaching Public Speaking for seven years at a university and community college. But I was still a novice in deeply communicating with myself, Spirit, and others. In all the years of counseling others and receiving my own counseling, I was unable to fully see and be my microscopic truth.
I often use Richard Bach’s quote as a reminder of my life’s journey: “We teach best what we most need to learn.” It has been a winding road to unfolding my truth and fully stepping into the name I received from Spirit over 15 years ago: Throat Chakra Shaman. It goes hand in hand with receiving the name Iris during a shamanic journey. It didn’t seem as sexy as the other colorful names my shamanic student friends received…until I researched and learned Iris was a Greek Goddess of Communication who rode the rainbow between heaven and earth. I am now practicing my most effective communication as I am more and more eager to face truth and speak truth in crucial and often challenging conversations and in the words I put out for the world to hear as I don my minister and speaker hat, and read as I put on my writer chapeau.
Circling back to my early days—my love for language made it easy to fall in love with writing. I remember winning a literary contest in 9th grade—my first published work. Since that time I have published several books and contributed to a number of anthologies. I also have a stash of cobweb-covered manuscripts. I much prefer writing to speaking, though I acknowledge the power and energy in my voice—one of my healing modalities used for meditation, healing chants, and voiceover work.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
I identify strongly as a Renaissance Woman—a Holistic Healer, Teacher, Author, Speaker & Coach with over three decades of service supporting people experiencing imbalance, overwhelm, and distress and dis-ease. I am the creatrix behind Mind Body & Soul Food, where I cook up Divine deliciousness through all things Reiki, Retreats, and Restoration.
I also coach and mentor other women healers who identify as W.I.T.C.H.—Women in Tune with Conscious Healing—guiding them to discover their unique voice and fine-tune the expression of their authentic selves. I received the term W.I.T.C.H. in my young adult novel, “Diary of a Witch’s Daughter” and it inspired a whole movement leading to editing and publishing my first anthology entitled “W.I.T.C.H. Voices: Women in Tune with Conscious Healing Remember their Truth & Reclaim their Power,” which became a number 1 Amazon New Release and Bestseller in 3 categories. It featured the Sacred 33 Voices of women sharing their empowered journeys to becoming W.I.T.C.H. We will again feature them for our 2nd Annual W.I.T.C.H. Voices Illuminated Virtual Retreat in December and look forward to Volume 2 of the book in 2025, featuring a new 22 Sacred Voices. In the meanwhile, I hold a monthly W.I.T.C.H. Hive Sacred Circle for women and am currently hosting our first Writers Retreat in the Dominican Republic.
Other retreats include Sacred Sojourn to Sedona in August and Kundalini Rising Plant Medicine Retreat in New Orleans in April 2025.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
- No (wo)man is an island. We are in times crying out for a restoration of our communal nature. So cultivate community—it is a gift to lean into others as we all build together. My two favorite African proverbs remind me of this: “When spiderwebs unite, they can bind up a lion.” I
“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” - Return to nature and her gifts. Technology provides amazing tools but is a poor substitute from what we can learn, how we can connect, and how we can heal from Mother Earth and her gifts.
- Be your authentic self. Living your truth is the most powerful expression of your authentic self. If you haven’t discovered them already, others with like minds and hearts will gravitate to the true you.
What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Any advice or strategies?
Because I juggle a lot, I can fall out of balance and into overwhelm. Therefore, it is important for me to use my various tools to restore harmony. It helps for me to set the tone of the day through morning ritual practice of breathwork, meditation, self Reiki, prayer, and positive affirmations. I respond to the energy of music, so chanting, singing bowls, gongs, and other high vibrational music sooth my savage beast. I also make sure I am well hydrated, and I take supplements and eat sustaining foods. Going to nature for grounding is key—I especially resonate with being in water. Internally I look at what is showing up and get curious to the co-creation. What’s there for my personal growth and development?
Contact Info:
- Website: www.mbsfood.com
- Instagram: https://instagram.com/throat_chakra_shaman
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThroatChakraShaman
Image Credits
Photos 1, 2, 3, 7 Anim Bey 3, 5 Tonya Parker 4 Richard Beal 8 Rosa Grillo
