Meet KJ Udell

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful KJ Udell. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with KJ below.

KJ, so great to be with you and I think a lot of folks are going to benefit from hearing your story and lessons and wisdom. Imposter Syndrome is something that we know how words to describe, but it’s something that has held people back forever and so we’re really interested to hear about your story and how you overcame imposter syndrome.
I had to choose this topic because, so truthfully, I was trying to choose a topic and thought, “Oh wow I don’t have a good enough story for any of these things”. Is that not a LITERAL SIGN?! hahaha 🙂 So I guess the reality is that I still struggle with imposter syndrome. I do so many cool things – I’m a mom, I own an aerial fitness studio, I’m an Associate Director at my day job, and I’m a circus performer. Outside of that, I find so much joy in nature and I love to hike, camp in remote places, I love to read and to write, to paint, to create, so many wonderful things! I think the reality for me is, and I know this is something a lot of people won’t agree with, my life’s mantra is “Fake it ’til you make it”. & I don’t mean half-ass it, I mean talk the talk and walk the walk, and one day you’ll become whatever it is you think you’re faking (because spoiler alert, you’re actually not faking it! You’ve been *it* all along!).

I was recently sitting in the green room with my cast-mates before a big show. I sat on the couch next to an amazing performer and everyone was laughing, talking, getting ready. She leaned over and gestured toward everyone saying, “I just love to see all of these artists just existing here together”, and I nodded fervently, agreeing that it was magic. & I thought, “Who knows how I snuck my way in here!”. So let me tell you, the imposter syndrome is real and persistent, but in those moments I tell myself to shut up. Just allow yourself to BE the amazingness that you ARE, and if it feels like you’re faking it – lean into that. Fake it. Fake the HELL out of it until magically, somehow, you’re in the middle of a green room with a sparkly leotard on getting ready to tumble down some silks from 30 feet in the air in front of a vast audience.

Having constant wonder and amazement at the world, accepting that WE are a part of that magic and beauty is all we can do to succumb to it. Ride the wave, go with the flow, all those silly cliches that have a place in this mess. This is how you overcome the doubt. Just do it, just sparkle.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
I have been working with folks who have intellectual and developmental disabilities since college. I am now an Associate Director at one of the large non-profit Case Management Agencies in Denver.

I began my circus journey shortly after college. It came to me like a sign, like a punch in the face kind of sign. My friend and I were at a concert, two ladies dropped their silks from the ceiling and started flying, I looked at my friend and shouted, “THAT’S ME”. The very next day I found a school and started training. I expanded from silks to lyra, static trapeze, hammock, then I moved to Florida where I met an unbelievably inspiring friend. She taught me to spin fire and put me in her shows. I moved to Colorado and found my new circus family and tried rope, bar, and a teaching opportunity!

When I first moved to Colorado I was not in a great place, mentally and financially. I was looking for circus classes, and I found AIR Denver, which is more group fitness related, but it uses a hammock so I gave it a try. The manager at the time saw something in me, and asked me to join a once-in-a-lifetime (my words, not hers) free training to become an instructor. I jumped!

I released myself from a bad relationship shortly after and allowed the world to open up for me. After instructing at AIR Denver for 5 years, the owner at the time approached me about purchasing it. I jokingly showed my now-husband and amazing best friend the text and said, “Isn’t that wild?” and he said, “Absolutely not – let’s do it”.

So I’ve learned a few things along this journey – do not stop doing what brings you joy. & if something does NOT bring you joy – release it. As soon as possible. Don’t hold guilt from that choice either. You deserve to be happy and you have the power to make choices that will lead you to that joy. HARD STOP.

Now I’ve been performing in various shows around Denver with incredible directors and artists, I continue to hone my craft and expand my abilities with skilled teachers, I now OWN a freaking business with my best friend, and I continue to rise as a leader in a world that I care so deeply about, folks with significant needs.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
When I was in college, my aunt voluntold me to join her in a club called Toastmasters. I didn’t know what it was, but she said she would buy me lunch after every meeting so I said yes. As it turns out, this was literally just a toast/speech giving club. That’s all we did! We took turns giving speeches and shared meaningful feedback.

THIS was more impactful than I could have realized at the time. Becoming more confident in your speaking abilities, especially if this is somewhere you struggle, is only going to help you in every facet of your life.
Step outside of your comfort zone and say ‘yes’ to invitations that will help you grow.

Another ability that has been extremely important to my life is patience. I developed patience working in group homes. My folks didn’t run on the same internal clock as me. I found myself frustrated more often than I’d like to admit, but boy did it calm me down and teach me to adapt in moments like that, and I’m thankful it happened in my twenties (before I became a mother :D). Be p a t i e n t.

& finally, resiliency. I can hardly think of anything more important than resiliency. Resilience to change, even if it’s good! Resiliency to the hardships. Adapting, growing, blossoming, all of these verbs find their foundation in resiliency.

Okay, so before we go we always love to ask if you are looking for folks to partner or collaborate with?
I am always looking to collaborate! & I think I could call this a struggle of mine, not in the actual act of collaborating, but that I am such a fiercely independent person that I have to force myself to reach out and pull other hands into my circle. I would love to collaborate with anyone who has an idea — more specifically, I love hosting workshops at my aerial fitness studio! Even if it doesn’t seem related, I’m ready to collab. Got a cool craft idea? Let’s do it. Sound bath meditation? I’m in. Got a movie you’ve directed and want to share but don’t have a large screen? We have a projector. haha, I mean it! Any idea is worth chatting about, so please send it my way! I also want to collaborate in any performance arena. I have a rich theatre background and love to be on the stage, so I’m always looking for audition opportunities and artistic folks to move with!

Contact Info:

Suggest a Story: BoldJourney is built on recommendations from the community; it’s how we uncover hidden gems, so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
Resilience
Where does your optimism come from?

Optimism is the invisible ingredient that powers so much of the incredible progress in society

Confidence
Stories of Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

Learning from one another is what BoldJourney is all about. Below, we’ve shared stories and

Resilience
The Power of Persistence: Overcoming Haters and Doubters

Having hates is an inevitable part of any bold journey – everyone who has made