We were lucky to catch up with Stacy Beery-Mtshali recently and have shared our conversation below.
Stacy, so good to have you with us today. We’ve always been impressed with folks who have a very clear sense of purpose and so maybe we can jump right in and talk about how you found your purpose?
Destino. As a young third-generation Italian American with an intense fairytale complex, you can only imagine how much the idea of “destiny” was seared into my mind. It actually flowed through my veins. The thing that kept me up at night, however, was wondering what I might do to screw up this one great destiny for my life. I mean, if there is one destiny– one great purpose or aim for your life– then it’s easy to get off track, right? On the other hand, if it’s truly destiny, then it’s all going to happen anyway and nothing I do matters!
These were the pendulums that swung violently in my mind, leaving me totally paralyzed in most areas of my life. I wasted years reading too much into signs and allowing my emotions to sit in the driver’s seat. I watched the movie Only You on repeat (#IYKYK), fantasized about my great purpose in life, and (most importantly at the time) obsessed over meeting THE ONE that would be key in fulfilling said purpose.
Whew! Fast forward a couple decades, relationships, and continents later… and I wish I could shake that girl! However, she had to walk a (winding) road in order to reach a place of understanding that purpose is not a destination. “What is my purpose in life?” is a dangerous question that can lead to intense disappointment (or at least keep you stuck). Stay with me…
For me, I suppose I began the journey to find my purpose in Mexico during my pre-teen years on a mission trip to an orphanage. My worldview changed in an instant, and so did I. I was always an empathetic and compassionate child, but now my heart exploded with the desire to help those most at risk. This would later lead me to serve in Central America, South America, Asia, and Africa.
Still, I couldn’t quite get a grasp on what my main purpose was… SO I decided to continue searching the whole world over, high and low (quite literally) over several years. Along the way, I would sometimes be asked, “What are you running from?” And I always responded, “It’s about what I am running toward!” I told myself I was following after God (my “calling”), but certainly I was trying to chase myself down, too. WHO AM I? WHAT IS MY PURPOSE?… or rather, WHO IS MY PURPOSE?!
By the time I turned 25, I had traveled to all 7 continents (which was still kind of a thing in 2o10), searched desperately for Mr. Purpose, and interviewed people in every country on what they felt was THEIR purpose. Filled with far more questions than answers, I sat on my plane home having an existential crisis (and actually journaling about it)… when suddenly an actual crisis emerged.
The man in the seat behind me was clearly not okay, and the flight attendant was desperately searching for a doctor on board. Someone responded, they carried the man to the back to lay him flat across a row of seats that were cleared out (by children looking on… along with the rest of us in shock), and the doctor tried her best. Ultimately, there was nothing they could do. We were somewhere over the Atlantic when this man, completely alone, took his last breath.
We were grounded at the first possible runway on US soil, tears streamed down my face as I watched this nameless man be rolled away in a body bag, and I etched these final three words into my travel memoirs:
LIVE YOUR LIFE.
We can waste our whole lives away, chasing after some PURPOSE or someONE… only for it to be gone in an instant. What if instead of pursuing one great purpose in life, we chose to find Divine purpose in each moment, each face, each place? When you decide to stop chasing after life and finally start living it, you find purpose all along the way! A life filled with passion, compassion, and intentionality means that you can find purpose in all of it!
For me, it has been found in bringing flowers to a shopkeeper having a bad day, holding a dying baby, having a meal with someone living on the street, being willing to receive help, smiling at the person in the elevator, doing my job with excellence, playing bingo with someone lonely at the nursing home, praying, forgiving, soaking in a bubble bath, and buying groceries for my family. There is no limit, when purpose is found in every moment and each breath. What will you do with this one?
In case you are still looking for a sign, consider this it.
You are not lost.
You are not alone.
You are not incomplete until you find “THE ONE.”
You are not on a journey to find your purpose…
You are FILLED with purpose.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
After traveling the world (and getting my Master’s in Social Work), I got “stuck” in South Africa for many years, caring for precious kids with more than their share of baggage. I began a development program for young ladies and then met my husband, who also began a development program for young men. We decided to come, along with our daughter, on a sabbatical to America in February of 2020 and suddenly found ourselves “locked down” for a year. During that time, God spoke to us in many ways (one of which was getting pregnant!) confirming that we were meant to stay and lay roots down here in the US. Re-entry, starting over with nothing, and immigration have been an interesting journey… but we are here for it!
My love for people and places has recently found a resting place in Travel Designing. I LOVE IT! Travel has impacted my life more profoundly than I could ever capture in words, and it brings me so much joy and fulfillment to give this gift to others. Follow me and my journey @AroundtheWorldwithStacy!
Again, it is hard for me to capture all of the unbelievable experiences I have had in my life… I feel as though I have lived several lifetimes within my own. HOWEVER, this is the year I will finally release some of my writing. Starting now.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Live with an open mind, open heart, and open hand.
What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Any advice or strategies?
I literally could not have survived this crazy journey without Jesus. God has been a very real, very present help in troubled times (and there have been many). When something overwhelms me, I let God take it… He carries it better than I do. And when I feel as though I can’t go on, He carries me.
It’s not just a bumper sticker, and it’s not as hard as we make it.
Just ask.
Contact Info:
- Facebook: www.facebook.com/WritingsByStacy
