We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Anoosha Kargarfard a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Anoosha, we’re thrilled to have you sharing your thoughts and lessons with our community. So, for folks who are at a stage in their life or career where they are trying to be more resilient, can you share where you get your resilience from?
My version of resiliency has shifted particularly in the last two years. My younger self thought that being resilient meant being tough. You know, tough exterior, stern demeanour, untouchable – in a sense where my guard had to be up, and nothing could sway me in any direction. In the more recent months, I’ve understood that my version of resiliency and vulnerability coexist simultaneously and both can be true. I’m currently in the space of honouring that while meeting it with grace. Looking at my life in birds eye view, I see big transitions and wonder to myself “How the heck did I do that?”Well, here’s the short story:
We moved to Canada from Iran in February of ‘94. I am a child of young immigrant parents, who didn’t speak English upon arrival. I don’t remember this considering I was shy of two years old, but my mom would bring me to her ESL classes while trying to get a high school diploma at 21 at George Vanier high school in North York, Toronto.
Growing up, I watched my parents struggle adjusting to the social cultures of the western world, while keeping our Iranian traditions and practices alive. Naturally, there were challenges that come with the territory of being an immigrant transitioning to obtaining a Canadian citizenship. From financial obstacles, battling two distinct cultures, language and opportunity barriers — you name it. But my parents are resilient. Amidst the polarities and circumstances that made it challenging to succeed, they both pursued entrepreneurial endeavours – with a lot of mistakes in between. I’d say this bravery to face challenges came from both my parents but my mom… she’s not the type of woman to take ‘no’ for an answer. Infuriating at times when you’re 12 and find it embarrassing when your mother writes letters to the teacher to defend you on your behalf, but in hindsight, it taught me a lot about practicing bravery.
Being the youngest of the cousins and coming from a dominantly female family, and also an only child, I had a lot of examples ahead of me that I thought would pave the way for my future, but everyone had their own course that they needed to follow, and eventually I found mine. Challenging at times when you want to try something new, but someone in your family already attempted your prospective interest and it didn’t work out for them. So I was left with all these opinions and experiences that weren’t mine. That’s where the resiliency started kicking in.
I grew up with some pretty intense “lack” programs. Not necessarily because of family upbringings, but I suppose being a target of bullying for a few years, coupled with the weakened foundation of poor self esteem, I was left feeling overshadowed by other people’s successes – more so as a mental construct of my own. Who cares what school X got into? I did because I always threw myself into the comparison trap.
That said, I was never reckless with my actions. To the best of my abilities, I still kept my integrity and intentions in alignment with my future goals. At 22, I moved to London England and finished my masters. At 23, while I was completing my degree, my parents were in the beginning of getting their divorce, and I entered into a relationship that turned out to be emotionally, verbally and mentally abusive. In 2018, I saw my first life coach and everything clicked. Truthfully I can’t really picture how I was before then.
Although it took immense amount of self-work, self-reflection, self-love even when I had to befriend my shadow, I found my resilience through faith. Not in the sense of religion or a specific denomination, but understanding how life doesn’t happen to us, it happens for us.
One thing is for certain. There’s only one of me and I was put on this Earth for a reason. I can’t give up now. I refuse to change myself because the world wants me to adjust to what works for them. I stand up for myself, I’m considered cocky. I’m quiet, I get taken advantage of. So what’s the common denominator: I show up as I am, how I am, while understanding my experience is completely detached from the reality of the world. They coexist, but they’re not related and someone else’s interpretation of me is not reflective of who I am. Additionally, everything is an opportunity to learn and adjust. That’s the resiliency of the spirit.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
My parents wanted me to play it safe. Get a degree, get a job, work hard, and live a financially safe and comfortable life where I could have security. That’s nice, but I knew that wasn’t for me. I completed my masters at 23 in University College London in Urban Planning, moved back to Canada, and started working. In 2019, I involved myself in a creative community called Canon Creator Class. After being a part of the community and seeing that it was possible to follow your dreams, I quit my job as an urban planner in October of 2019, and started my photography business full-time. I had no intention of starting video because that was an untouched and terrifying territory that I felt I had no business being a part of. Zero knowledge, zero experience, and zero understanding.
In November of 2019, I rented out a mezzanine at a detailing shop in Pickering, Ontario about 45 minutes away from home. It was my first taste of having my own business. Ecstatic about going to IKEA to buy anything that isn’t bedroom related was the highlight of my mornings. From November to January, I only had two clients come through that door and do a studio session with me until February of 2020 I had to shut down my studio at the shop due to covid. That was rough.
For the next year and a half, I worked on-and-off again jobs enough to pay the bills. After doing extensive research for my business, I started my full-service content creation agency, Creative’s Bazaar Inc., November 2020. I worked from home, set up a studio in my basement, worked on some pitches and built my portfolio. It did well. During this time, I put a lot of work into my passion project ‘She Is Power Project’ where I ended up photographing the former (and hopefully not the last) Queen of Iran as part of my project. I was also able to work on music video sets, short film sets, a year long project with a cannabis chef, and shoot my first short film as a producer and director of photography. This is the same girl who didn’t even fathom changing the settings on her Canon 5D from photo to video in fear that it would epically fail. All this happened in a short amount of time, and I knew that it happened in divine timing.
After a 5 day trip to Miami in late February of 2023 as a vacation, I felt a magnetic pull to the city. Not because of the hype or what it looks like or what it offers, but energetically I knew that my spiritual journey was drawn to Miami for personal development. I got back to Toronto, and got to work. I said my epic goodbyes, packed up my Jeep, and drove. I moved to Miami the first week of April.
My first attempt lasted six months, but eventually led to me breaking my lease early, packing my belongings, loading up my car and driving back up (with the help of my friend) to Toronto. The highlight of this 6 months was meeting a music producer who put me in touch with an artist from Boston. They flew down just so I could shoot their music video and get her song released. From photographing the Queen, this entire project is the runner-up.
Coming back to Toronto was a tough pill to swallow. Something deep down told me I was going back to Miami so I never ended up unpacking. For six months, almost all of my belongings sat in the garage from September 2023 to January 2024.
The moment I got back to Toronto, I applied for jobs. I knew I needed to take a beat to regain my footing and to recalibrate my business. After 500 job applications Canada and USA wide, I got a call from an engineering firm in south Florida in October.
Am I really packing up my things and driving down?! Again?! Yes. That happened.
The second attempt was decorated a little differently. I had to take a beat from my full-time agency and full circle back to my degree of urban planning. So currently, I live in Miami, Florida as my second attempt to restarting my life outside of Canada whilst finding my footing, building my network, rebuilding the foundation to my creative entrepreneurship while working as an urban planner this engineering firm. I let faith lead the way for a few reasons. One, I rented a place from Facebook market with just a video that was posted. Two, I have absolutely no family and long-term friends here to lean on for support. Three, I had to go back to my previous career to get me back on my feet before I could blindly be an entrepreneur in a city with no connections or network but I was determined to try.
Currently, the story writes a little differently. I am a band manager for a local classic rock band, working with an artist for upcoming shows, rebranding my business, started branching and managing other artists and finding them work opportunities, cooking and creating mini short films and falling in love with creating without the immense stress of meeting financial responsibilities — all the while working a full-time job an hour away from home. I’d like to take this moment and give a shout out to all the full-time mothers – especially single mothers. I don’t have kids and it’s already a challenge.
Don’t get me wrong, I learned some hard business lessons in the three months of being here. It triggered old and uncomfortably stale programs. While addressing what’s coming up for me, the narrative is to lean into faith and I strongly believe that the right clients who resonate with my vision and my storytelling will find me and appreciate the work I do for them.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
One. Learning to stand in your power and saying no without the fear of losing a client for money while maintaining strong customer service. What I mean is, even if you have to say no, do it in simple words that doesn’t come from a place of ego or pride. If someone is offensive to the services that you offer, that’s okay. Thank them, and walk away. They don’t need that explanation.
Two. Taking things for face value instead of potential. A lot of people will try to convince you of potential opportunities. We don’t go into a restaurant, eat all their food with the potential that it might be good or bad. At the end of the meal, we still pay the bill.
Three. If it doesn’t feel right, it’s probably not for you. The best way to sharpen this intuitive skill is listening to yourself before you engage in sharing these thoughts with others. Listen to your body — it’s the first signal to what resonates with you. If it feels exciting, you feel pumped and energized. If it feels draining, it’s probably because it’s a project or person you don’t resonate with and that’s okay. Don’t operate from a place of fear. The world is abundant in its offerings.
All the wisdom you’ve shared today is sincerely appreciated. Before we go, can you tell us about the main challenge you are currently facing?
Bringing it back to the first question – being resilient whilst vulnerable. For me, they coexist and they are both true. My thoughts recently were predominantly actively “maybe if I stonewall, this wouldn’t have happened,” considering that’s a coping mechanism for most people and it seems to work for them – whether dating, or business. Maybe I should shut down my feelings and vulnerability so that I can be less hurt, or less susceptible to rejection. What I’m learning is I can still be vulnerable and practice my boundaries, and be resilient to rejection if I’m conducting my business in a place that is not familiar to me. I am still open to being vulnerable with people that I choose to engage with, while maintaining the understanding that every person is there for a reason, season, or lifetime. There’s a common duality in our experiences, and recognizing they are both true is liberating.
We get over consumed with the narrative that ‘you need X to become Y’ but that’s not true. Show up as you are authentically, and even if you make mistakes, honour them and shine your light on it. Brightly. Bravely. Unapologetically.
Recalibrating after a second attempt at a solo move internationally taught me that anything is possible. I have the tools and I have faith.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.anooshakar.com
- Instagram: @anooshakar
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/anooshakar/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@anooshakar
- Other: www.creativesbazaar.com
