Meet Shari Dworkin-Smith

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Shari Dworkin-Smith. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Shari below.

Shari, we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?

When the psychic I had been working with first explained that I was meant to be a Medium and a Psychic I literally laughed out loud. I couldn’t believe that could possibly be true but, she was 100% right. As my intuition and abilities continued to develop, I never lost the sense of amazement and wonder about doing this work.

We’re so often programmed to be more aware of the negatives around us, and I felt I needed something to help “prove it” to myself that I was truly able to do this work. So, when I finally started to work, holding practice sessions, attending workshops, and working more genuinely with other mediums, one of the things that helped me was my Bingo Book. You know, like yelling out “Bingo!” when you finally understand something or win the game!

I started using two notebooks for every reading. I put session notes in the first one, jotting down information that came through and, after each session I’d go back through my notes and underline anything that had been correct or validated by the client. I’d write those things in the second notebook, my Bingo Book, along with the circumstances around the information, because Spirit can show us things in so many ways. This is how I started cultivating a place where I could see that I was making connections, that Spirit was working with me, and it wasn’t in my imagination. When we’re first starting out in anything, it’s easy to put more focus on the things we’re not doing right, and a Bingo Book helped me create a record of what was going right so I could better focus on that and build my confidence.

In one instance, I saw a children’s t-ball team in my mind. I could see the black plastic tee with the white ball perched on top. I watched a young boy walk to the plate, swing the bat, and hit the ball. But my client couldn’t connect to any of it.
I kept hearing “t-ball, t-ball,” in my mind and, when I asked the communicator for more information, I was shown a silver ball with little holes in it. I understood immediately. It wasn’t “t-ball”, the sport, it was “tea ball,” something used to steep loose leaf tea. As someone who loves loose leaf tea, I recognized it right away but without the additional context of the baseball game, I probably wouldn’t have understood it. When I shared this new information with my client, she burst into tears. She had inherited her grandmother’s sterling silver tea ball, and, without the bigger picture, we both doubted if either of us would have made the connection. Stories like this, and so many others helped me understand how hard our loved ones in spirit, our angels and guides and everyone else is working to get their messages through to us.

Each correct piece of information was added to my Bingo Book and over time, the number of things going in the book became equal to the notes I’d written into my session notes. Any time I would have a bad day or feel frustrated with myself for not connecting with Spirit as well as I would want, I’d take some time and look through my Bingo Book. I would remember all the ways that Spirit had shown up, asking me to work with them to bring forward information their loved ones were waiting and hoping to hear.

Reminding ourselves that we are doing better than we think, and that we are not alone in any of it, strengthens our relationship with Spirit and builds confidence that this is a team sport, and we are in this together. I trust those in spirit to be with me when I sit with a client. I trust them completely and, at the same time, that trust is returned with a strong flow of information during a session. Earning that trust from the spirit side is so humbling to me. It is such an honor to be called to sit and do this work and be their voice to communicate with their loved ones. We all can make these connections. For me, it is still a tremendous honor to be chosen to do this work and I feel quite special in that regard. It gives me a sense of peace and a strong sense of self-esteem, knowing I’m doing what I was meant to do. I work with an incredible team of supporters on the other side and knowing that gives me the confidence to continue doing this work, especially on the harder days. It is a wonderful feeling to know you’re not alone and that there is so much love on the other side waiting to come through and be acknowledged.

Let’s take a small detour – What would you most like people to know about the work you do?

I love working as a medium. It is an amazing opportunity to help those who have lost loved ones, so they know their people are safe and really, still with us, just in a different way. For me, it is an honor to do this work and be a voice for those who can no longer speak in the physical world and the healing that can come from this work is so profound. To sit across someone and share information I couldn’t possibly know unless their loved one gave that information to me, is a humbling experience. Being part of easing someone else’s grief, even in the smallest way, makes me feel proud to do this work and serve Spirit in this way. I know there are folks who feel unsure about mediumship or psychic work, and I try to show up as a down-to-earth and approachable person. I say, “I’m just a normal person. I’m a mom, I’ve got parents, pets and all manner of stuff going on, just like everyone else.” That seems to put people at ease. There shouldn’t be anything scary about connecting to our loved ones in spirit. Even those who perhaps weren’t the greatest to us when they were alive oftentimes, are working out those issues on the other side and now they’re wanting to clear the air and make things right. The healing and closure created by these connections often can’t be found anywhere else.

My work as a hypnotherapist is another way I feel so honored to be able to help. Our minds are so powerful, and hypnotherapy is an incredible tool to help to let go of things that no longer serve us and to quiet the mind so we can see things more clearly. Sometimes we absorb patterns, messages or wounds from past traumas that keep us from living our best lives. Hypnotherapy is an amazing way to help us get to the truth of a situation and create new pathways to move forward in a better way.
I feel grateful every day to be part of doing work that helps people to heal. When we can help people heal, we create a more loving and supportive community and that’s good for everyone.

Thanks to video platforms like Zoom, I’m able to work with people all over the world and, in addition to being a psychic medium and hypnotherapist, I’m also a card reader and life coach and you can usually find me appearing several times a month at the Lake Mary Pub and Tiki Bar. If you’re in the area, please stop in and say hello! Official dates and times are available on Facebook and Instagram.

If you had to pick three qualities that are important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

Even though I heard the spirit voices all my life, when I was in college, I chose to close myself off to all that they had been trying to share. I didn’t understand, I wasn’t ready, and, at that moment, I hoped it would all just go away. Years later, after a particularly awful time in my life, as I worked hard to heal myself, I felt like something was missing. I had no idea what I was doing and never thought that decision would change my life so dramatically but, as I decided to reopen myself to the voices of the past, inherently there was also a willingness to trust. I wasn’t a particularly trusting person, having been hurt many times in my life, but each time I followed where I was being led, there was something solid for me to land on. There was a comfort there, like getting reacquainted with an old friend. For folks who are just getting started on this adventure, the first thing I share is patience and trust.

We likely all have a few solid people in our lives, those with whom we can be ourselves and trust they see the depth of who we are. They know all the secrets and still hold our friendship with no judgement but, we didn’t get there overnight. Building these bonds of trust likely took years and it’s the same with Spirit. The more we can let the spirit world (whether it’s angels, guides, our loved ones, or anyone else) into our lives, the more magic they can create with and for us. Perhaps start small, asking for guidance and taking a beat to see what feels right for you. Be patient, it takes time to build that trust, but it can happen.

The more I followed this advice, the more synchronicity I experienced until I finally understood, there’s no such thing as coincidence. It’s our Spirit team trying to get our attention. The more I was able to trust my intuition, the more I could see things in my life coming together but, it was more than that. I wasn’t just building that trusting relationship I mentioned before, it was a willingness, not just to trust Spirit but also to follow where I was being led. When I’d find myself going off in another direction, they’d (sometimes not so gently) move me back onto my path. For example, when I was first reopening my doors to Spirit, I must have signed up for Reiki classes five times. But when it came time for the class, something would stop me from attending. A last-minute scheduling conflict, illness, car trouble, you name it. Rather than feeling frustrated, I asked which direction I was meant to go instead, and the answer always came. And of course, there was usually “just one more seat” wherever they were wanting me to go. It was an interesting time, and I could feel it in my body. When I’d try to push for what I wanted for myself, I’d feel uncomfortable, like a knot in my stomach and when I’d let go and let them lead me, I always felt great. It didn’t take long to get the hint and years later, when the time was right, I attended my first Reiki class without any conflict or discomfort.

It can be so difficult to let go of our ego or our belief that we know what’s best for us and allow unseen forces to take the lead but, over time it gets easier because they are always working with our best interests in mind. Years ago, I heard this explanation, and it made so much sense to me; imagine a needlepoint or tapestry with a beautiful image created on the front. That’s what we’re all working on but, on the back, it’s a mass of crisscrossing threads and knots and it looks like a mess. That’s the part we see. When we imagine our lives, we’re mostly seeing the disorganized mess on the back but, our spirit team, they see the beautiful images on the front coming together. It’s not always easy to let go and trust where they’re trying to lead us, especially when things get tough. In those moments, I try to remember they can see a different, more accurate view than I can and that helps with building that trust and letting them lead rather than fighting to go my own way.

Living in co-creation with Spirit will shift every aspect of your life and I often found myself asking, “what’s the worst that could happen if they really have my back?” It’s not easy. Longtime friends and family didn’t always understand, they wanted me to stay the same as I’d always been. “Are you going to put out a neon sign?” some asked, while others believed I was doing the work of a devil and cut off contact. I can’t be responsible for what others think, I can only go by what feels right for me. I was sad to lose some friendships, but I gained so many more. I met incredible people who were in alignment with my path and the blessings have been immeasurable. It takes courage to tune out people who’ve been in our lives forever. It takes courage to feel that fear, that loneliness and still believe you’re on the right path. For me, I learned to trust how things felt in my body. If it felt wrong, like a knot or anxiety, I’d move away and ask for more information. If it felt exciting (which can also feel like fear) and I wanted to lean in, I trusted this was the right way to go. Feeling the fear and jumping in anyway because it felt right in my stomach and in my heart, have rarely been the wrong move.

We’ve all got limited resources, time, energy, focus etc – so if you had to choose between going all in on your strengths or working on areas where you aren’t as strong, what would you choose?

I have had many careers in this life; I’ve been a dancer, a theatrical electrician and production manager. I was a talent coordinator for TV and movie productions and an event coordinator for a major LA based law firm and all these careers required me to learn new skills. Some things came easy and others not so much. Focusing on the skills that are weaker is important. If you’re a dancer, you need to be as strong on your left side as you are on your right. Or if you’re planning a big event, being organized and detail oriented are important skills to have for a successful event coordinator.

The problem comes when we’re so focused on our weaknesses that weakness and “not-enough-ness” is all we can see. After this variety of careers, I spent 25+ years as a Director with Mary Kay Cosmetics where much of my time was spent helping women grow in their confidence and skills and, one of the most important things I learned was that “energy goes where attention flows.” This means, if we’re so focused on what we’re not (not good enough, smart enough, thin enough, etc.) then that’s what we’re always likely to be. But, if we can focus on all the wonderful things we are, those qualities will blossom and grow, improving other areas by osmosis and proximity, all in a more positive way.

There’ve been several wonderful studies done about visualization and all of them found that visualizing the desired outcome was profoundly effective in achieving the result. Energy flows where attention goes. Athletes, artists, and many others showed measurable improvement by watching themselves achieving their desired goals. Seeing themselves improving and achieving success had a real impact on their ability to reach their goals in the physical world. This is a very positive and uplifting way to improve our skills. Plus, it’s way more fun to focus on the positives. Doing things where we feel more proficient can be a recipe for frustration and discouragement. Focusing only on our weaknesses is a low vibration which can make us feel less than what we are. I’m not saying we shouldn’t practice and try to better areas where we are weak, however focusing on our strengths will create improvement in other areas too, without the negative impact. A rising tide lifts all boats. It’s cliché I know but it’s the truth, the more we focus on our positives, the more improvement we can see across the board.

I have found this to be true in many aspects of my life. Each time I’ve had the opportunity to try something new, the first voice in my head is the one saying, “You can’t do that, you don’t know how.” I think that’s the first voice for a lot of people. But perhaps the next voice can say, “What skills do I already have that can help me with this?” This is a much more positive place to start. It also opens the door for co-creation with Spirit. When we celebrate the skills and intrinsic value we already have, we’re immediately coming from a stronger, more confident place, which opens our minds to what else is possible, which is everything.

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Image Credits
Photos taken by S Cosden

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