Meet Mishka Sibert

We were lucky to catch up with Mishka Sibert recently and have shared our conversation below.

Mishka, so good to have you with us today. We’ve always been impressed with folks who have a very clear sense of purpose and so maybe we can jump right in and talk about how you found your purpose?
The purpose found me and started unfolding the older I was with each challenge we faced as a family. It wasn’t really about autism being the challenge but the challenges that come from a lack of support and understanding for autistic people and their family members.

I remember those moments when my brother and I were kids, I was a teenager, around 12 or 13 years old. We used to go to a playground so he could play with other kids but he didn’t know how to connect with them, he’s nonverbal so his way of communication was touch. But the problem was no one understood what his true intention was – a connection, not causing pain. Other kids were scared and started crying, and their parents shouted at me and him and gave us all these hateful looks. There was this other teenage girl who told me my brother was a “psychopath” and “stupid”. Little she knew these words stayed with me for over 17 years. That those words were the catalyst for the change that started blooming inside of me. It first started with anger, feelings of hopelessness, hurt, injustice, shame, guilt…Not shame because of my brother but the shame I knew from the times when I was bullied. I knew how to fight back with words, how to stand up for myself. My brother was quiet. Silenced. I felt like no one sees who he truly is, how I see him. What a blessing he is in my life, how special and loving he is, how he makes me happy with his smile, and laughter, and how innocent he is. I felt like the world was the cruel place he didn’t belong to, and that I needed to fight for him and protect his pure soul and heart from those bad words, misunderstanding, and aggression.

But the older I got, the wiser I got, and realized I could not fight with anger. I had to shed light on the truth – people fear what they don’t know. So what I had to do is to teach them about my brother and be the bridge of communication and connection that he craves so much. People started understanding him more and learning about autism and him as a Samko – who he is, what he likes, and why he does those special things he does, what he’s trying to say. They started opening their hearts and minds to his heart and mind and he felt understood, seen, and heard. Autism is an invisible disability and my brother is nonverbal. So each time he feels seen and heard, my heart is full of joy and happiness. That’s my purpose.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
My brother and I co-founded our business and NGO Happy Autism, where we advocate for autism and “autism siblings” (siblings of autistic people). Our work was praised by the Hollywood actors Ben Affleck & Anna Kendrick and featured in American Forbes showcasing what it looks like when we are inclusive as individuals and organizations when we focus on the abilities of people with disabilities and help them be seen and heard for who they truly are. I also spoke at autism events for global companies like ADP or Adobe, international conferences, and universities all around the world creating bridges of communication, connection, and understanding.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

  • Self-awareness – understanding who I am without the labels “caregiver, sister, daughter” and what are my own needs
  • Emotional intelligence and regulation – understanding my emotional spectrum, the specific triggers, and how to soothe my nervous system
  • Positive mindset – finding the good in bad, looking at challenges as opportunities for growth

As we end our chat, is there a book you can leave people with that’s been meaningful to you and your development?
My own book that I wrote about sibling relationship on a journey with autism because it was my therapy and it serves as a tool for other siblings, parents, specialists, and therapists so they know how to understand the complexity of this autism journey and the feelings of the siblings that often take on the co-guardian role of their autistic siblings after their parents. It’s not an autobiography, it’s a guide,  but I do share some of my own stories and the thoughts and emotions of other siblings from all around the world. The therapeutic part was not only being heard but also the search for the “evidence” that I’m not alone. The academic research and the stories of other siblings helped me and others siblings be heard and understood.

You can find my book here: http://happyautism.co/book

Contact Info:

Image Credits
Mishka speaking photo was taken by Srdce Autizmu NGO ( https://srdceautizmu.sk/ )

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