We recently connected with Christine Soza and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Christine, really happy you were able to join us today and we’re looking forward to sharing your story and insights with our readers. Let’s start with the heart of it all – purpose. How did you find your purpose?
How does one find their purpose? I believe that it is part of our human nature to ask this deep and thought provoking question, one I have been asking most of my adult life. It truly wasn’t until I started working with people at the end of life did I finally find my life purpose. It had been a quiet, subtle nudge for many years that began to get louder and louder as time went on.
I have been a nurse, LPN, for over 30 years and began my nursing career as an oncology nurse and always knew that I wanted to end my career with end of life work. After taking care of our aging parents and losing them in quick succession, I was reminded of my own mortality and really began questioning how I wanted to spend the rest of my life, in whatever time that I had left.
I love being a nurse but felt such a strong calling to provide support in a more holistic way. I no longer believe in coincidences and when I heard the term “End-of-Life Doula or Death Doula” I immediately felt that was what I was supposed to be doing, I then began my journey becoming an End-of-Life Doula through a wonderful program called Doulagivers. Making that decision was a very pivotal moment in my life.
What I didn’t realize at the time was that I was already a doula because I have held the hands of hundreds of people who were having their end of life experiences. As a CNA at the age of 18, I was the one who stayed after work to be with people whose families were unable to be at the bedside, I was the nurse who cared for the AIDS patients, who was not afraid to touch and care for these beautiful humans, who needed and deserved human touch and to die with dignity, kindness and compassion.
It was truly an honor to care for both of my parents and was given the gift to be present when they took their last breaths. I have witnessed hundreds of last breaths and each one has left a lasting impression on my life and in my heart.
My wish is for everyone to find their purpose and to help remind them that it doesn’t have to be something heroic or to be someone of great importance in the world. It can truly just be an act of being your authentic self, helping and being kind to others and creating joy all around you, because when you are living your purpose, others around you will want to do the same. This, I believe, to my innermost self, is the truth. I promise, it will be worth it.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
I am the founder of True North Awakening where I assist people to find direction and meaning in their lives by providing a space to safely explore their path on their own healing journey and act as a guide up until they take their last breath. It brings me such joy when I can help to empower someone on their healing journey, reminding them that they have more control over their health and end of life experience than they realize, it is an incredible honor to witness.
Oftentimes, people feel very powerless in their medical care, as they navigate the healthcare system when they become ill. Medical Reiki is an integrative or complementary therapy that can be used in addition to their current treatment plan. We are in a constant state of stress and especially during an illness, the body’s ability to heal under such extreme stressful conditions make it very challenging. Reiki allows the body to fully relax and in that state of deep relaxation, the body can begin its restoration process. Imagine you are at the computer and you have a deadline coming up and you are nowhere near being finished with the task that you have been assigned to do. You don’t even realize that your shoulders are up next to your ears and your jaw is clenched and tight. Can you feel that in your body? Now imagine that someone comes up behind you and places their hands on your shoulders and you begin to relax, your shoulders move down into a natural position, your breathing slows, your heart rate and blood pressure lower and you feel a sense of calm and ease that will be needed to get the job done. This is Reiki, helping to calm the nervous system and creating a sense of peace and calm that helps you to navigate throughout your day and during challenging times where medical care is needed. It has been such a gift in my life as I navigated my own healing journey.
I am also an End-of-Life Doula. like a birthing doula, where a person may help support the baby and mother at the beginning of life, an End-of-Life Doula helps to support the person who is dying and their loved ones at the end of life. In my mind, the birthing and dying process are very similar, both are very sacred and life changing for those involved. I had witnessed many deaths as a young teen and throughout my nursing career but it wasn’t until I supported both my parents at the end of their lives, did I truly understand the power of love, loss and grief. I cared for our aging parents, while working full time and raising teenage boys, it was a very busy and stressful time for my husband and I. We lost many family members in a very short amount of time and realized how important time and presence are all that we really have. After they passed, I wished that we had more time. More time for deep and meaningful conversations, calling my mom for advice, hugs and belly laughs.
When someone is given a terminal diagnosis, they realize that their time is very limited and it is often something that we take for granted. Time is something that many wish they had more of at the end of life. A doula cannot extend the life of a dying person, but they can help support them and their loved ones with the time that they have left. A doula can act as a guide in helping to find meaning and helping to create a space where the inevitable journey that we will all take, seem a bit softer and help for a gentler landing. Helping to tie up loose ends and support a person in whatever way feels right to them. I encourage everyone to get the conversation started with your loved ones, get your end of life wishes documented and start living. Tomorrow is not guaranteed and by having all of those loose ends tied up, you will leave space for all of the “I love you’s” and sharing tender moments with your loved ones to say goodbye. I believe that it makes it a bit easier, knowing that your wishes are being honored and that you are giving your loved ones the chance to begin their own healing journey without having the extra stress of having to guess what your last wishes might be.
I am so honored to be sharing the gift of Reiki to others and am especially honored when I get to share this gift when someone is having their end of life experience. I have witnessed many last breaths and bearing witness to those who have planned and prepared have truly been my greatest teachers. Combining my end of life work with Reiki have been a beautiful offering to my clients and family members.
When we speak of death, we are also talking about living, and hopefully remembering that when we live more fully and presently each day, we create a life worth living until we take our last breath. That is my wish for each of you.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Looking back, when I was younger, I felt like I had to always figure things out and would spend endless nights worrying and trying to control the outcome of a certain event or life challenge. I spent years what I lovingly call “The spin cycle” where I couldn’t see a way out of my own challenges that I mostly created. Perhaps it’s age, but I feel that I am a bit wiser as I have been able to surrender to so many more things. I felt that if I tried really hard and forced something to happen then it must work. I ended up exhausted, miserable and resentful. Only in the act of surrendering, are we truly free. I have found that the more that I surrender, the more free that I am. I always thought that surrendering meant giving up, but it is actually quite liberating and would encourage everyone to give it a try. We hold on to so much, trying to control, afraid of losing something or maybe even being afraid that we won’t get what we feel that we deserve. When we surrender, what we freely release comes back in waves of gratitude, peace, grace and serenity. It is not always easy but much easier than hanging on so tight. Letting go is liberating. It will set you free.
We are all beautiful, intuitive human beings that often create stories in our minds, telling us that we are separate from one another, when in fact, we are all connected. There is an incredible Ted talk and book called “My stroke of insight” written by an amazing woman named Jill Bolte Taylor. She shares her experience of having a stroke in her left hemisphere of her brain, which is our analytical side of the brain, the part of the brain that helps us to plan and organize all of life’s to-do lists and tells us that “I AM”, that I am separate and different from everyone else. The right side of our brain is our creative side and tells us that we are all connected, “WE ARE ONE”. I spent years not trusting my “gut instincts” or intuition and failed miserably when I tried to control the outcome of any situation. I now allow myself time to really trust the process and let my heart guide me. It has allowed me to become my true authentic self and has served me well when I am caring for myself and others. Trusting your intuition and allowing things to unfold naturally is empowering and a superpower we all have.
Always operate from your heart space. When we offer love, kindness and compassion to each person we meet, we create a space for healing, understanding and grace. Forgiveness is the key. I know that there are acts where people or institutions have done great harm and seem to be unforgivable, but please consider forgiving them anyway. Forgiveness is not necessarily for the other person, but for you and your heart and It will set you free. I know this to be true because I have found forgiveness in my heart and that anger and pain was preventing me from moving forward in my life. It truly will change the direction of your life.
Surrendering, trusting my intuition and forgiveness have been the greatest gifts in my life, I hope that you will feel inclined to use them on your journey as well.
To close, maybe we can chat about your parents and what they did that was particularly impactful for you?
My parents were very hard workers and worked honestly and with integrity. My dad was the hardest working man I have ever known. He would come home from work and then would begin his other job of building us a home and stable life for his family. There were struggles for my family growing up but we always found time to have fun and play when we weren’t working around our little house up in the mountains in northern Idaho. They taught us the value of hard work and that if we wanted anything in life, we needed to be consistent, persistent and be an honest person. My dad closed deals with a hand shake and would give you the shirt off his back. He loved helping people and always helped with a smile on his face. My mom was the gentle soul that was a friend to everyone, she was the wisest woman I have ever known.
My parents gave me the gift of allowing me to make my own mistakes and giving me the privilege to clean up the messes that I created when I was younger. I don’t think that I would be the same person if I hadn’t been given those opportunities for growth. At the time, I did not understand the gift that they gave me. Looking back, it must have been incredibly difficult to know that they could help, but the growth is by learning how to overcome those challenges. I have been a slow learner but it is getting easier and I am able to navigate the relationships that I have with our adult children much easier. Giving our boys the dignity to face their own challenges and walking beside them rather than helping them to clear their path has been such a great lesson that I received from my parents. Their unconditional love and support has made me the woman that I am today. I hope to share that same legacy with our boys and future generations. I am grateful for all the love and the lessons. Each breath we take is such a gift and I am so grateful for the life that I have and to know such love.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://truenorthawakening.com/
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