We were lucky to catch up with Kelli McVay recently and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Kelli , we’re so appreciative of you taking the time to share your nuggets of wisdom with our community. One of the topics we think is most important for folks looking to level up their lives is building up their self-confidence and self-esteem. Can you share how you developed your confidence?
I would say I definitely wasn’t the confident child. Quiet, people pleaser and want to fall into the crowd. Actually very different than the person I am today. I have always heard there are people, places and events that impact you in a huge way, some are good and some are bad. First I think dance was an incredible natural gift I was given, It was and still the space that I feel so empowered, strong and confident. It’s a space that my body knows, feels and I didn’t have to prove myself it just was. Core is such a strong part of who we are. Core is also one of the most important things in dance. The stronger your core, the more you lean into your core you can’t be thrown off tilt. You can always center back to it. Dance is not only my heart and soul but my core. I can always come back to that centered space. Dancing on stage, teaching and choreography is one way I have strong confidence.
Another way my confidence increased was when I went to college. I was a straight C student. Perfect attendance but school was hard and I wasn’t good at it. I went to college when I became a mom and after I had lived. I knew more about myself, I learned how to succeed academically and really learned if you put the work in and want it you can achieve it.
The third way I really gained confidence was in having my first child. Up until that point, others ran the show. I was in a relationship where I was being told where to go, what to do and how to do it. It was really controlling and my people pleasing skills were in full motion! When I had Cameron everything changed. Decisions weren’t for me but were for him. I wanted him in a loving space and home. I wanted him near family. I wanted to go to college and do well not for me but for him. They say people change your life and he did change me. I wanted more for myself and for him. I think going back to school, graduating, the career path I chose and relationships I have left were brought about to want more. All of those life decision led me to a space of being bolder, stronger and more confident.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
So I am known for doing a million things but I thrive in it all and oddly enough I have way too much time on my hands.
So I am a Senior Director of Sales at Hugh & Grace. It’s an LA based company around Health and Wellness with a mission around Hormone Health. It’s networking marketing where I have thrived in the corporate side for 20 Years. I love it gives mostly women the ability to create a career, and life with flexibility and an income. I have watched the personal development that happens from people being pushed out of comfort zones and have built life long friendships.
I also teach ballet.I keep saying I plan to be the 90 year old in leg warmers. It is such a big part of my identity, it keeps me moving and ballet is timeless. It doesn’t change as other genres do.
What I’m most excited about is as you get older, you hone in on not only your strengths and the skills you are best at but also what brings you joy. They always say passion and purpose and you will never work a day in your life. I know my gift and it’s helping others find theirs. It’s helping people push out the noise, lean in, overcome. obstacles and doing the really scary thing again and again. I found this in all areas of life. It is something I do everyday in my corporate role. It is something that I love helping with as dancers get older and start to look at paths or begin to feel stagnant in an area. Finding awareness at the obstacles, getting out of our own way. Finding hyper focus on what it is we really want. I had started the LCC Grand Reve Creative ten years ago, It means “Dream Big”. All passion projects fall under this space from helping big production companies find dancers, to Kerry Wee and I’s podcast Greener Grass to my personal life coaching business Grand Reve Creative.
So the two things I love sharing for my personal brand would be Greener Grass a podcast and Grand Reve my personal coaching.
Greener Grass started from my two previous dancers reconnecting as forty year olds. She was looking at my life wishing she had children and financial stability and I was looking at her life wishing I had traveled the world as a professional dancer. We are always comparing and looking at each other’s greener grass. But if we lean in and know what we want we can make the big life pivots life has in store for us. We have had past olympic gymnasts, stranger things actor to a strong mom who transitioned through divorce. It’s people telling their stories and finding their place. We can all see ourselves in that and learn from peoples life pivots.
The other things I am thriving and loving is my personal life coaching business. I did life coaching like 8 years ago. At the time I was getting divorced, at a brand new job, raising four kids I felt like on my own and owned the government 10,000 in taxes. I was a train wreck. It completely changed my life. I completely shifted my life in 6 months time. We ended by going sky diving because we can all do hard things. I have the time ability, the training and the skills to really help people dig deep and figure out what they really want. Not what other’s want but what they want. It is so what I am meant to do and it brings me complete joy!
So who I am, what’s my brand… it is to help people, friends, students my community find their sweet space. Not just dream the dream but dream it, create the goal and then put actions in place that meet those goals.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
There are three things that I really feel made a huge difference in who I am today and where I’ve gotten in my career. Networking – My degree was in elementary education. During my education I worked within elementary schools. At one point someone said to me, it’s all about who you know. UGH I was mad. I actually did’n’t know anyone and my family wasn’t the social butterflies of my small community. But what I know twenty years later is she was 100% spot on. One of my strengths is people. I talked to people because I am intrigued by their stories and I want to learn what makes them tick. My skills of building relationships has served me in all aspects of my life. I become friends with everyone from my ballet teacher at BalletMet, to the person sitting by me on the plane. I also have incredible relationships with people at past jobs. Real, genuine relationships. I not only am able to reach out to them about the industry I work in, but for the podcast, to help me make connections in all the areas of life I work within. Another important note is this goes BOTH ways. If I know of a job opening, or can connect two people that I know will be thankful to know each other and work together I connect them. I read a book once about someone who made three connections a day. It could be the mailman, someone in line at the pharmacy of the Mayor of the town. Worlds open up when you are open to meeting, making real connections and expanding your network.
Perserverance – I think perseverance is key in work and life. Life daily gives us obstacles and things to overcome. If life was easy and didn’t give us challenges it would be pretty boring. I think every single person is given their own plate of shit ( excuse the language) and it molds us and creates the person we become. They say how we react to things is so important and that is true. I am quick to jump back up after I’m knocked down. Perhaps too quick in some situations. I choose to find the good. I choose to beleive the other person wants to choose good as well. I have had big knock downs in life and in my career, but the action of taking a moment, regrouping and then beginning to climb the mountain again is everything. So take the pause, check out your surroundings, decide if you need to pivot or change course and then pick yourself up and get moving. I’ve always been drawn to characters that are pushed against a wall
Continual Learner- I LOVE to learn. I love to read. I love to listen to podcasts, I love to watch documentaries. I love my Masterclass subscription.I love to take ballet classes. Now these things all may sound like a snooze fest to you. But if you lean into learning about the things you love, the things that bring you joy it won’t. In every things I do or read,
I learn something. It might not even be what the author wanted me to read, or what the speaker wanted me to hear but I am a sponge and ready to take it all in. I fill silence with audio books, and Masterclasses. I take notes on key things that interest me or that I think I can come back to at any moment. If you are open to learning it will open up your thoughts and your mind to try things in a little differently, To change things up. Your business, life, relationship won’t become stagnant because you are open to learn and then implement things in.
ahh I have one more! Consistency
So I think people believe they need to change their life and so they try to do all these big things at one time. If you do small things every day just a little everything changes. I give the example I challenged myself to run one mile a day and overall that added up to more than me running three miles twice a week. I do a 100 crunches and 10 pushes every hour during the day. It takes three minutes, and yes I do this in work clothes, jeans etc. At the end of the work day I have done 500 crunches and 50 pushups. Small things add up!
What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Any advice or strategies?
I take on a lot of things at one time and in consistent motion. I do have a big corporate job, I am a single mom with four kids. Calendars can be crazy and the universe is always throwing things directly at us. Becoming overwhelmed happens. There are several things I do to keep from becoming overwhelmed and then I would love to share what I do when it does happen.
I have learned the art of no. People would rather you be honest and share you wish you could, you are so thankful you were asked but you want to show up in in the best way and you just don’t want to overcommit yourself. Say no!
Stay up later and get up earlier. Now I am not recommending you don’t get your 8 hours of sleep. What I am saying is plan accordingly. I remember when the kids were little and I worked in a corporate office full time. I was complaining about how overwhelmed I was. Too much laundry, groceries and not a minute too myself. A good friend said get up earlier or stay up later. I think taking a moment at the beginning of the day with your coffee and journaling before the kids get up. Or staying up a little later so you can get your things done but also have time to yourself.
I am a planner. Sunday nights are the night I get my life in order. What important things are happening this week? Do I have a plan for everything. Where can I fit in a workout or coffee with a friend? What work, school, or projects for the business can I write now prepare. Not do but get my things in order. The more I have prepped and ready on Sunday night that Monday morning moment doesn’t feel as chaotic or hard.
So what happens when I do get overwhelmed. Take a moment, step back and breathe. What are things that bring you peace, joy, center you and help you reset. These things do not have to be expensive. I think when were overwhelmed we sometimes double down and try harder to push ourselves and get more done. But I like to take a moment to step back. Here are a few things that bring me joy, center me and help me come back to my core and refocus.
A big walk alone- drop everything and go for a big walk and take in some sunshine and fresh air.
A hot yoga class – hot yoga is not for everyone but I love a good sweat where I have to focus on what I’m doing and not the spin in my head.
Dance – teaching, choreography. taking a ballet class or just going into the studio with the lights out and dancing in the dark are all things that let all that out and bring my spirit back.
Chips and Cheese – what are chips and cheese you ask. The local Mexican restaurant chips, queso, margaritas with your bestie, I laugh, cry, dump all the things I am stressed about out on the table. We resort them through conversation, advice and happy tears. I always leave feeling so much happier and all those things I was overwhelmed about disappear.
I also think another amazing practice is to go through what your grateful for. It again will recenter all those things you are feeling bad and overwhelmed.
Contact Info:
- Website: grandrevecreative.com
- Instagram: kelli_mcvay
- Facebook: Kelli McVay
- Linkedin: Kelli McVay Senior Director of Sales
- Twitter: alwaysdreambig
- Other: mcvaykelli@gmail.com kelli@hughandgrace.com
Image Credits
kz.photography Katelyn Willis
