We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Dr. Khnuma Simmonds a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Dr. Khnuma, so happy you were able to devote some time to sharing your thoughts and wisdom with our community. So, we’ve always admired how you have seemingly never let nay-sayers or haters keep you down. Can you talk to us about how to persist despite the negative energy that so often is thrown at folks trying to do something special with their lives?
The thoughts, language and actions of haters and nay-sayers are a reflection of them. The thoughts, language and actions that derive from me including my response to them (if any), are a reflection of me. Therefore, the way that I persist despite toxic people and their behaviors, is simply to continue being who I am and practicing self-control – even when that means being kind and open to the very people who may choose to be unkind and resistant to me. Kahlil Gibran said: ‘Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution.’ I believe this statement to be true as there is great strength and freedom in my resolution to be myself – independent of other’s perception of me.
Forgiving, kind and perceptive are authentic ways of being for me yet it can be greatly misunderstood as being weak or even inauthentic because it is not reactionary and often grounded in reflection – this is when ‘strength and resolution’ are key. With only 36% of people worldwide possessing emotional intelligence (Cornerstone University, 2024), it is not surprising that haters and nay-sayers would exist especially in today’s society. Because emotionally intelligent people are not consumed with nor easily bothered by toxicity, however, they may be easily labeled as fake or inauthentic when in actuality, the ones who seek to identify such qualities are those who possess the ‘fakeness and inauthenticity’ themselves. Though the reality of this understanding can be frustrating, it also triggers compassion and fosters wisdom that allows me to recognize: it’s not personal.
So, how do I persist as an emotionally intelligent person? I assess if there is truth in all feedback. If there is, I make adjustments for self-improvement (not to satisfy others as intention can determine karma). If there isn’t truth, however, I refocus all energies within and continue to be unwavering in my values of kindness and positivity while practicing empathy for those who are unable to find it within themselves.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
As the Founder and CEO of Girlfriendism International LLC which encompasses my roles as Owner and Buyer of My Girlfriend’s Closet St. Croix Boutique, Co-Owner of My Girlfriend’s Closet St. Thomas Boutique, Founder and Choreographer of SoKh Caribbean Dance Fitness and Founding Executive Director of H.O.P.E. Incorporated, I am a full-time ‘mompreneur’ who enjoys marrying her passions for entrepreneurship and advocacy. As an intuitive entrepreneur and the visionary for Girlfriendism, I advocate for women’s empowerment through friendship in seven core areas: fashion, fitness, wellness, business, travel, love and philanthropy. This holistic approach to women’s wellness and empowerment is supported by research from credible sources like the American Psychiatric Association that states: ‘People who have friends and close confidants are more satisfied with their lives and less likely to suffer from depression and they’re also less likely to die from all causes, including heart problems and a range of chronic diseases.’ Girlfriendism is not only my ministry but natural medicine for a woman’s heart and soul – hence why I am excited about the expansion of Girlfriendism H.O.P.E.’s most recent program launch: The HOPE Survivor Project – The Art of Emancipation & Empowerment through Embodiment & Entrepreneurship (EEEE).
As a survivor and Founding Executive Director of H.O.P.E. Incorporated, I have blended my personal and professional experience to further advocate for and support survivors of domestic and sexual violence. The EEEE Program – a culturally specific services program that is created by and for survivors in the U.S. Virgin Islands and Caribbean – was launched simultaneously with the 175th Emancipation Commemoration of the U.S. Virgin Islands (predominantly Afro-Caribbean and Afro-Latinx population). Funded by the Sisters of Color Ending Sexual Assault. Created in honor of the cultural and historical approaches to healing and empowerment – particularly the arts (embodiment) and creative expression (entrepreneurship), the EEEE program has functioned as the first territory-wide, survivor lead project – highlighting the power of culture and collective healing while serving survivors beyond the U.S. Virgin Islands to include survivors in Texas, Atlanta, Grenada and Guyana. The beauty of this program is it has created a space for survivors to develop genuine friendships that allow them to see themselves beyond their trauma while using their own cultural identity to heal and evolve into the entrepreneurs, artists, leaders and healers that they were created to be. From doctors to fashion designers and therapists to healthcare practitioners, our program is breaking the stigma around survivor identities and amplifying their gifts to empower, teach and reach others!
In addition to the groundbreaking advocacy for survivors, Girlfriendism will also travel to Bali, Thailand and Dubai with over 27 girlfriends from the U.S. Virgin Islands, U.S Mainland and South America for its fourth annual Girlfriendism Retreat this summer! This two week collective experience, is centered on women’s wellness and builds on the 2022 Girlfriendism Retreat that was held in Athens and Santorini, Greece with 31 women from the U.S. Virgin Islands, Florida, South Carolina, New York and beyond! These annual convenings which alternate between the U.S. Virgin Islands and an international location, are celebrated every August 1st in honor of National Girlfriend Day! It is through these initiatives that girlfriends collectively defy the myth that women can’t get along and realizes the vision of empowering women in local and global communities!
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Divine feminine flow, discipline and creativity are three qualities that have been most impactful on my journey. Divine feminine flow, as I have experienced it, is best defined by the Centre of Excellence (2022): ‘The divine feminine is a spiritual and psychological concept that embodies qualities traditionally associated with femininity. It’s not confined to one gender but is an essential aspect of the human experience. Divine femininity is about nurturing, understanding, empathy, and connection. It represents a side of ourselves that fosters emotional intelligence, intuition, and compassion.’ Though today’s society glamourizes structure and ‘hustle’, I have found that the highlights of my journey – whether successes or lessons learned from great challenges – have been in a state of divine feminine flow. This state of being understands time but doesn’t worship it; appreciates rules but isn’t intimidated by it; and values planning but isn’t driven by it. It simply understands that…I am.
The second quality that has been most impactful is that of discipline. In the co-authored anthology, ‘Passion and Purpose: 21 Inspiring Stories from Women in the US Virgin Islands on Business, Leadership, and Life’, I wrote the following about discipline and it still applies today: ‘As I grow in my purpose, discipline has been required of me on the journey—discipline is how I think, speak, act, and manifest the vision within me with a passion that positively impacts everyone around me. Discipline is not an easy route at times as it requires that we depart from the things and people who detract from our purpose while also requiring that we step out on faith and set fear aside: For a divine life, it is required.’ Entrepreneurship and advocacy aren’t a ‘walk in the park’ – its work, patience, persistence, determination, consistency and commitment; and together, they encompass discipline.
Lastly, creativity is the ever flowing waterfall that keeps the river of ideas, innovation and business concepts afloat. As an entrepreneur, consistency is key but as a successful entrepreneur, creativity is necessary. One of the reasons that an abundance mindset comes naturally is due to my creativity. If someone steals my idea, I create a new one! When business slows, I create a new approach! Creativity ensures that there is no shortage of opportunities, reminds us that ideas are abundant and fosters a positive relationship between our mind, body and spirit!
How can you develop or improve your flow, discipline and creativity? Trust your intuition! As human beings (and especially as women!), our divine feminine is led by our intuition and in turn, our intuition is guided by our soul. Because our souls are unique and cannot be replicated, that means that when we tap into our soul…our authentic selves…anything that we create will be fueled by our energy – because it is why we were created to begin with! So for anyone who wants to start their business, I want them to know that their desire is their intuition speaking and their soul is searching for an outlet for their life’s purpose to grow. Likewise, it is that same intuition that will inform them of what opportunities to take, which opportunities to be still and think upon and which opportunities are intended for another chapter of their life. We have all that we need within us because God is within us (and is cheerleading for us!)!
One of our goals is to help like-minded folks with similar goals connect and so before we go we want to ask if you are looking to partner or collab with others – and if so, what would make the ideal collaborator or partner?
Absolutely! I’m not only interested in folks who want to collaborate – I’m interested in girlfriends who embody and align with Girlfriendism from the inside out! Girlfriendism is: (1) The Art of Being a Girlfriend. (2) Being a woman whose empowerment serves others. (3) A community of women who support women in business, friendship, and beyond! (4) A movement creating experiences for women in diverse industries including fashion, fitness, wellness, business, philanthropy/advocacy, travel, finance and love. As an Afro-Caribbean woman, I am particularly passionate about advancing the economic power of women of color across the globe while also engaging allies in amplifying the voices of women who are transformative in their approach to collaboration and success. I am not your typical ‘leader’ – I am an intuitive entrepreneur and visionary which means that I’m moved by an alignment in vibration, values and vision – not only by credentials and access to perceived success. I am unwavering and unapologetic in who I am; and above all, I am a good person interested in good people who want to do a GREAT thing on this journey called LIFE!
Contact Info:
- Website: www.girlfriendism.com
- Instagram: instagram.com/mgcusvi
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/girlfriendism
Image Credits
Cherise Richards, Aisha-Zakiyah, Misty Winter, Elizabeth Ortiz, Chalana Stephanie Brown
