Meet Holly Gray

We were lucky to catch up with Holly Gray recently and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Holly, thank you so much for opening up with us about some important, but sometimes personal topics. One that really matters to us is overcoming Imposter Syndrome because we’ve seen how so many people are held back in life because of this and so we’d really appreciate hearing about how you overcame Imposter Syndrome.

As a small business owner, imposter syndrome comes with the territory. It’s a creepy little bugger. You can be on the top of your game, hitting goals right and left, exceeding your own and other’s expectations, and then, WHAM, it hits you hard, leaving you dazed and confused. While imposter syndrome is so common and understandable, we don’t talk about it nearly enough, which is why I love this question.

I specialize in colorful, non-traditional, and out-of-the-box weddings. And by nature, they aren’t for everyone’s tastes. For the most part, the wedding industry is a very homogeneous vessel full of beautiful weddings, that stay safely in the traditional blush and bashful comfort zone. I created my wedding business for the Whackadoos.

Because my wedding concepts and designs are outliers, when imposter syndrome creeps up on me, welding its ax of insecurity and self-doubt, I remind myself that the weddings I plan and design are as unique as the clients they serve. They aren’t a dime a dozen. Because in this day and age, who wants to carry around that much change? I kid! They don’t fit in the wedding box, by design. Sometimes, getting over the fear of not fitting in takes remembering the positive reasons you stand out. Finding those positives takes away the negative sting of the imposter syndrome ax and makes you the hero in your own story, finally.

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Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

Anything But Gray Events​ is a full-service wedding planning and design company founded in 2012 serving Southern California ​& Destination events. With a focus on colorful, creative, and non-traditional events, ​Anything But Gray Events proudly supports other small businesses, ​L​GBTQIA, BIPOC, and women-owned businesses.

Founder​ and CEO, Holly Gray, is a second-generation wedding planner, community Builder, creative Storyteller, ​dog mama, and Technicolor Queen. A former stage manager for live theater and improvisational comedy productions, she brings a fearlessly theatrical perspective​ and unique skill set to the event industry.

Known for her use of color, creativity, and bold design aesthetics, Anything But Gray Events weddings look and feel as unique and out-of-box as the couples they are crafted for. Her work has been featured, in Equally Wed, Green Wedding Shoes, Offbeat Bride, Black Bride Magazine, and printed publications like Love Inc. Magazine, The Knot, California Wedding Day, and Rock and Roll Bride.

Her devotion to showcasing inclusivity, diversity, and love of all shapes, colors, and sizes is evident​ not only in the weddings and events they create, but also in my vendor partners, associations, and collaborations. ​As the WIPA (Wedding Industry Professionals Association) National Director of Membership Retention, Holly loves to connect with fellow WIPA members all over its 21 US chapters. Fun fact to talk about later-she believes in ghosts and has won 3 TV game shows.

​Trying to change the wedding industry to be a more welcome and inclusive place, one wedding at a time, Holly reminds us that ‘Not all weddings have a bride. Not all weddings have a groom. Some have neither. But ALL weddings have LOVE!​”

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If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

1. Hospitality

While it might sound obvious at the heart of the hospitality industry is being a hospitable human. A human who lives in a welcoming, kind, thoughtful, and gracious spirit, no matter the setting or crowd they find themselves in. In our society, full of flash-in-the-pan, fast-casual, Instagram-worthy, sexy over-substance we have lost the foundation of how our curated actions through the craftsmanship of pure hospitality make others feel. Getting back to the basics of hospitality, in all its forms, is what it’s all about to me. Maya Angelou says, ‘I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.’

2. Showing up

You will learn more by listening than you ever will by talking. Listen to everything. Gleaming knowledge from every experience and opportunity you create is like being handed a gift to unwrap. But you can’t receive any gift without being a person who shows up. Show up because you said you would. Show up because others count on you. Show up because you never know what could have been unless you are the person who follows through. It’s not about being in EVERY room, but rather about being in the RIGHT rooms for your goals. When you take the time to stop then listen, learn, and show up for new experiences, great things happen! And even if great things don’t happen, you still had a drink, and a good time, and now have a story to tell!

2. Reliability

Say what you mean and mean what you say. Being a reliable person that others can count on, be it personally or professionally, is a skill that too often gets flung to the waist side. The easiest way to stick out from your “competition” is to follow through. It’s as simple as that. “Your smile is your logo, your personality is your business card, how you leave others feeling after having an experience with you becomes your trademark.” ― Jay Danzie

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Looking back over the past 12 months or so, what do you think has been your biggest area of improvement or growth?

My biggest area of growth/self-improvement in the past 12 months has been cultivating a better sense of patience. Knowing what is right for you, and what is wrong for you is a key skill that can be hard to navigate. The truth is that what is right for you will come, but you have to be patient. Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither are your dreams. As small business owners, growth and development are always at the forefront. While it can be easy to try and keep up with the Joneses, or pay attention to what your “competition” is doing, it’s important to take a step back and analyze what is right for you, regardless of others’ choices. Sometimes the grass we thought was greener on the other side is just astroturf. What is right for someone else is not right for you and vice versa. Being patient, gracious, and mindful of your path will be the growth you need to succeed. And just in case you need the reminder, “success” is defined differently for everyone. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. In 2024, I have learned the two most powerful warriors are patience and time. Some of the best things in life (and business) will come from knowing when to wait, watch, and trust the process with an open heart, peaceful mind, and self-confident drive.

Contact Info:

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Image Credits

Soda Fountain Photography
Mary Costa Photography
J Emerling Weddings
Aurelia D’Amore Photography
Peterson Design & Photography
Justin McCallum Photography

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