Meet Amber Chapplain

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Amber Chapplain a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Amber, we are so deeply grateful to you for opening up about your journey with mental health in the hops that it can help someone who might be going through something similar. Can you talk to us about your mental health journey and how you overcame or persisted despite any issues? For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.

I was a woman who loved red wine. Correction – I am a woman that loves red wine. Too much, actually. We had to break up. It was toxic. I was addicted.

The word “alcoholic” brings to mind many images: An old man with a paper bag on the street, who looks like he wasn’t washed in weeks. The girl binge drinking in the club, stumbling around with no awareness. Whatever picture comes to your mind, I invite you to broaden it. It can be the husband and father who is the “classic provider”, but numbs his emotional side with a few beers every night when home from work. It was me, the ‘go getter’ workaholic who ran 6 miles every other day and was “always in control”. Alcoholism is not picky or prejudiced, it is open to all who wants it. I guarantee you, without knowing it, you know at least three people that ‘struggle’ with their relationship alcohol.

We live in a society where most social gatherings centre around booze. It is a widely accepted poison that love bombs us in the beginning, but has another side that only comes out after the dopamine high. It loves hurt, anger, shame, envy, greed, lust, and is a cunning and baffling companion. It is always, always emotional in roots; despite the denial may whisper that you’re just stressed and everyone needs it to relax. Justification is another best friend here, always providing a reason to shut down and numb out. To be clear, I’m not implying that everyone is an alcoholic. However, it has been in my experience that this is a much more widely shared struggle than we as a society talk about.

Once I started talking about my addiction, the sobriety journey called to me at a volume that could not be ignored. I’ve had many toxic relationships in my life, and I’m proud to say that I’ve been able to walk away from all of them so far (not always immediately, but I get there). I started looking at my relationship with alcohol is a literal one, and observed the facts: It lied to me, cheated me, and cost me financially, emotionally, physically. It gave me nothing but that immediate, but temporary high that seemingly soothed my insecurities, but then made them ten times worse the next day. I couldn’t deny that if it was a friend in this relationship, that I would tell them to leave.

Well, not just leave, RUN!

So I did.

I’m approaching my one year sobriety date as I write this, and I can promise you that while leaving a toxic relationship is always the hardest part, there is a dawn waiting for you that holds true love, healing, acceptance, forgiveness, support and freedom. I was an alcoholic for 15 years before I was able to leave, and I’ve been blessed to see all different kinds of sobriety journeys since then (of all ages and lengths). If you are reading this and you feel that it resonates, I invite you to seek help. No one should have to leave an abusive relationship alone. Maybe you are unsure of if this applies to you, and that’s okay too! Checking in and making assessments on where we are in life is allowed, and in fact, I encourage it!

If I can do it, anyone can.
I fiercely believe in your worthiness.
You should too.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

I’ve been practicing astrology and tarot full-time professionally for 4 years, and I’m very blessed to be able to do so. Before I was able to make the leap, I ran my personal business ‘on the side’ while I ‘slung metal’ (sold cars) for 8 years as my ‘full time’ job. Since I can remember, I was entranced with astrology and how applicable and evident it is in life. I felt like I got to peek into windows of peoples brains and souls with their birth charts, giving me more empathy and understanding in how to relate to them. Being able to do this now as my career is immensely rewarding.

I’m passionate about helping people learn tools for self discovery and efficiency through astrology and tarot. I don’t just want to feed people, I want to help them discover how to feed themselves. My brand, Amber Energy Services, is about using yourself as a tool for your own life, but also in making the world a more accepting and understanding place. I believe in celebrating differences as a way of coming together, and my goal is to help people live their most authentic life.
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Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

1) It’s probably not about you.

One thing I’ve discovered along my sobriety journey is that we all walk around projecting, like, all the time. When I took a step back and examined my own behaviour and responses to people, I realized most of it was actually about ME, not about THEM! What a freeing discovery, let me tell you! People respond from where they are at, not based on where we are. Once I accepted that actually, no one is thinking of me as much as I am, I was released from frequent obsessing over how I may or may not of upset o offended someone. It’s big, but simple. Give it a try!

2) You will make a plan, and the Universe (Higher Power, God, ect) will laugh.

You only control so much. Life is swirling, splashing, happening ALL around you! To think we can control every aspect of the current is laughable, although I’ve wasted a lot of time trying! The biggest power is accepting what you cannot control, and having the courage to change the things that you can. I learned that there was a lot more power in responding to life, instead of reacting to it.

3) The best things never come out of comfort zones.

I invite you to pause and think about the top 3 best things that have happened in your life and then ask: Did they come from comfort zones? Usually not. Great things often take effort and persistence. We live in an immediate gratification society where quicker is better. Don’t buy into it.

Who has been most helpful in helping you overcome challenges or build and develop the essential skills, qualities or knowledge you needed to be successful?

To choose just one person seems impossible! So I’m going to answer this question very honestly.

Who has been most helpful in overcoming challenges?

The people that could be vulnerable and talk about their own, so I didn’t feel so alone in my struggles. Beings that listened to understand, and not just to respond. The ones that let me be weak, but only for so long before reminding me that I actually wasn’t. And especially the souls that tried to convince me that I couldn’t do what I wanted, the determination is hugely helpful.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.amberenergyservices.com
• Instagram: @amberenergyservices

Image Credits

Danielle Arnold Photography