Meet Rebecca Monclova

We recently connected with Rebecca Monclova and have shared our conversation below.

Rebecca, thanks so much for taking the time to share your insights and lessons with us today. We’re particularly interested in hearing about how you became such a resilient person. Where do you get your resilience from?

In 2013, at the age of 33, I was diagnosed with Stage 2B ER/PR/HER2+ Breast Cancer. I was getting dressed for a friend’s wedding when I got the call. My (now) husband said, “We don’t have to go to the wedding if you don’t want”, but I felt like I just wanted to be around friends and distracted from the news, so we went. I have an extremely supportive family and network of friends and that made all the difference in my journey through breast cancer. I wanted to be strong for them, I wanted to minimize their worry and concern for me, and I wanted everyone to know that I would be ok. One thing that I have always told myself through all of this is that someone always has it worse, someone is going through a lot worse than I am. I went through chemotherapy, had a double mastectomy, and then reconstruction (at least I got new boobs out of this! lol). My friends held fundraisers and events for me, brought me food, shopped for wigs with me, and were just so incredibly supportive through everything. The day I had to shave my head, a bunch of friends showed up at my house last minute, and we had mimosas and cried and laughed. My dad’s health was not good, and the day after my double mastectomy (while I was still in the hospital), he passed away. I asked my mom if he knew that I had gotten through surgery and she said that yes, she told him (even though he was sedated and not awake), so I truly believe that he held on long enough to know that I was ok. My mom is the strongest person I know- having to handle her husband of over 45 years passing away and one of her children going through cancer at the same time.

In March of 2020 (yes, at the height of COVID!) I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Metastatic Breast Cancer. I had a mass in my upper left chest that was pushing on nerves and causing my left hand to go numb. This time, it had spread to my liver and lungs as well. My mom was able to go to my first oncology appointment with me but all appointments after I had to go by myself because of COVID restrictions. When the oncologist told me “Stage 4” I think I just nodded and didn’t really react, and she said, “You are very calm for hearing that news.” But I had done it before, so I think I had just resigned myself to the fact that I would have to do it again. I cried through my first round of chemotherapy because I was in pain and by myself. But still, I was thankful that I had been through this before; I knew what to expect. I couldn’t imagine going through treatments for the very first time without being able to have someone there with me. Again, proof that someone always has it worse. It’s 4 years later and I am still doing treatments every 3 weeks, but these are more of a maintenance than full chemo. I think I will always have to be on some sort of treatment for the rest of my life or the cancer will just return again. It’s annoying and tiring, but if it saves my life I know I have to do it.

People often ask- How did you/do you do it? And it’s hard to say, but I just do it. I can’t quit, I can’t give up, I can’t disappoint the people that have been so supportive and strong for me. I am not the most optimistic person, but for whatever reason, I know I will be ok. So many people have done so much for me, so I always try to appear positive and upbeat for everyone, but a lot of times at home I would (and still do) breakdown. My poor husband is often the only one to see that. He has been so amazing through all of this. We had only been together for about a year when I was diagnosed the first time. I think this kind of journey is often a lot harder on the caregiver than the person going through it.

I am absolutely more resilient since having cancer. I never knew how strong I could be or had to be until going through this. And I will always remind myself that there is someone out there who has it way worse than I do.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

I am a Latent Print Examiner for the St. Petersburg Police Department and an Adjunct Instructor at St. Petersburg College. As a Latent Print Examiner, I analyze and compare the fingerprints and palm prints collected from crime scenes. I love my job and love being able to help solve crimes. I teach 3 courses for the Crime Scene Technology program at St. Petersburg College- Introduction to Forensics, Fingerprint Classification, and Courtroom Presentation of Scientific Evidence. I enjoy teaching students about different aspects of forensics.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

Strength, Support, Optimism.

Ask for help if you need it. You can’t be strong on your own, you need the love and support of others. It truly takes a village to get through the hardest times of your life. You will not feel optimistic every day but just try to be positive more often than not. Know that there is always someone going through worse than you are- not to diminish what you’re going through, but just keep that in mind.

What was the most impactful thing your parents did for you?

They adopted me! I was adopted from Brazil when I was 3 weeks old. My parents went to Brazil and spent around 2 weeks getting through the entire process and bringing me back. They are the most amazing people. I also have an older sister adopted from South Korea and a younger brother adopted from the Philippines. I always joke that my parents did the international adoption thing way before it was the “cool” thing to do by celebrities.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: uf_rebecca
• Facebook: Rebecca Monclova
• Other: Email: ufrebecca@hotmail.com