Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Stephanie Ayler. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Stephanie, first a big thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and insights with us today. I’m sure many of our readers will benefit from your wisdom, and one of the areas where we think your insight might be most helpful is related to imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is holding so many people back from reaching their true and highest potential and so we’d love to hear about your journey and how you overcame imposter syndrome.
Imposter syndrome has been a significant challenge for me throughout my life, both personally and professionally. It became particularly evident during my journey into entrepreneurship. As a solo entrepreneur, I take on all tasks related to growing and running my business while also being a mother of two young children. This dual responsibility adds a layer of complexity to my challenges.
Starting and managing a business on my own has brought its own set of difficulties, magnifying the doubts I have about my abilities and qualifications. It’s easy to get into your own head and doubt yourself, especially when you constantly compare your business and background to others. Comparing myself to other brands, I would often pick myself apart without knowing their whole story, which only fueled my feelings of inadequacy.
Despite having the necessary qualifications and skills, and despite going back to school for further education and teaching myself some extremely tough skills, I often felt unworthy and doubted my capabilities. Bootstrapping a business is a tough mental load and can contribute significantly to these feelings. The internal struggle of managing everything alone led me to talk myself out of opportunities or procrastinate, significantly hindering my professional growth.
The need for perfectionism further paralyzed me, creating a vicious cycle of inaction, doubt, and further feelings of inadequacy. I felt stuck, unable to move forward because I feared I wasn’t perfect or good enough.
Recognizing that I was my own biggest obstacle was a turning point. I realized that by letting imposter syndrome take root, I was effectively placing a mountain in my own path. Acknowledging this was the first step toward overcoming it.
To overcome this, I began to work on:
Self-affirmation: I began to counter negative thoughts with positive affirmations. Whenever I caught myself thinking, “I can’t do this,” I replaced it with, “I am capable and prepared.”
Embracing Imperfection: I accepted that perfection is an unrealistic goal. By allowing myself to make mistakes and learn from them, I reduced the pressure I was placing on myself.
Seeking Feedback: I actively sought feedback from trusted colleagues, friends and mentors. Their constructive criticism and encouragement helped me see my strengths and areas for improvement objectively. They also reminded to celebrate myself and my wins which is just as important.
Taking Action: Instead of waiting until I felt ‘ready,’ I started taking on opportunities as they came. Each small success built my confidence and reduced my self-doubt.
Limiting Self-Rejection: I reminded myself that there are enough external barriers in life and that I didn’t need to add to them. I resolved to stop saying “no” to myself and instead give myself the chance to succeed and to not be afraid of that success.
Through these steps, I started taking back my own power and began to feel more confident.
It isn’t an overnight transformation and is something that I still find myself actively working through. Overcoming imposter syndrome is a continuous process that requires dedication and mindfulness. However, with persistence and self-compassion, I have learned to trust in my abilities and embrace opportunities without fear. I remind myself regularly that “Your mind is a garden, your thoughts are the seeds; you can grow flowers, or you can grow weeds.” This mantra helps me focus on cultivating positive, empowering thoughts rather than letting negativity and self-doubt take root.
The journey of overcoming imposter syndrome has not only helped me professionally but has also made me more resilient and self-assured in all aspects of my life. Professionally, I have taken on new challenges and seized opportunities that I would have previously shied away from. Each success, no matter how small, has built my confidence and reinforced my belief in my capabilities.
On a personal level, this journey has taught me the importance of self-compassion and the value of perseverance. It has allowed me to be kinder to myself, understanding that everyone makes mistakes and that perfection is an unrealistic and unnecessary goal. This mindset shift has positively impacted my relationships, parenting, and overall well-being.
By continually working on my mindset and being proactive in challenging my self-doubt, I have created a more positive and productive approach to both my personal and professional life. The resilience I have developed has enabled me to navigate challenges with greater ease and maintain a healthier, more balanced perspective on my achievements and potential.
While I sometimes dwell on missed opportunities and how much further along I could be personally and with my business, I actively work to change that mindset. I choose to be proud of the times I pushed past feelings of doubt and inadequacy. I have taken more risks and put myself and my brand out there in ways I previously would have avoided. As a result, I have been selected for many amazing opportunities that have helped me grow both as a person and as an entrepreneur.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
I am a solo entrepreneur and a mother of two young boys, dedicated to growing and managing my own business, Nourish and Love Co. My professional journey has always been driven by a passion for creativity and helping others. I earned a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Visual Communication from Virginia State University. Before diving into the world of hair care, I ran a graphic design consulting business. I am also a licensed cosmetologist, currently working on becoming a Trichologist. Balancing family and business has been a rewarding challenge, but it has also been incredibly fulfilling.
I run Nourish and Love Co, a botanical based, handcrafted hair care product range specifically designed for textured and natural hair. Our mission is to bring spa therapy and rituals to everyday hair care practices. My role encompasses everything from product development and marketing to customer service and financial management, a true one-woman show. Each day brings new challenges and learning opportunities, keeping me engaged, motivated and sometimes a little stressed!
What excites me most about my work is the creative freedom and the ability to directly impact my customers’ lives. Seeing positive feedback and knowing that my products bring happiness to others is incredibly rewarding. Knowing that something that was just initially a thought in my mind is now actively impacting someones life and hair care rituals is so amazing to me. I absolutely love it. Additionally, the entrepreneurial journey itself is thrilling—the constant evolution, problem-solving, and innovation required keep me on my toes and continuously push me to grow even when I am feeling scared.
Nourish and Love Co stands out due to our commitment to high-quality, handcrafted products that promote wellness and self-care. We pride ourselves on using eco-friendly materials and offering customizable options. Our mission is to create products that not only meet the highest standards of quality but also resonate with our customers on a personal level. We aim to educate and empower women to shift their mindset and intentions around hair care, fostering a healthier relationship with hair that involves less stress and frustration.
My journey into hair care began even before the days of Instagram and YouTube as we know it now, when those of us with natural and textured hair relied on platforms like Fotki. Nourish and Love started as a blog back in 2011. It was in my parents’ kitchen where I turned my passion into reality. I launched my hair care brand two months after the birth of my first child, channeling my determination into crafting products with unwavering dedication and a deep-rooted belief in my vision. I was ready to empower others like me.
Looking ahead, I am focused on expanding Nourish and Love Co product offering and further diving into scalp care and reaching new markets. Innovation and customer satisfaction remain at the heart of everything we do. I am also passionate about sustainability and how I can find ways to become a more sustainable business.
Final Thoughts
To anyone following our journey, thank you for your support, it means the world to me and fuels my drive to keep pushing forward. I am excited for the future and look forward to sharing more of our story and successes with you. I would love for you to join our newsletter and to keep up with everything that we plan to do in the future!
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
One of the most impactful qualities in my journey has been the commitment to lifelong learning. The moment you believe you know everything is the moment you stop growing. Whether through formal education, online courses, or self-teaching, constantly seeking knowledge has kept me adaptable and innovative. Surround yourself with people who challenge you and expand your knowledge. Remember, if you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.
Another critical skill is knowing how to delegate and focus on activities that generate impact and revenue. It’s easy to get bogged down working in your business rather than on it. Effective delegation allows you to prioritize strategic growth and innovation. Learn to trust others with tasks that don’t require your direct input, and focus your energy on high-impact activities. Identify your strengths and delegate tasks that fall outside. This is something that I still have trouble doing!
Building a solid business foundation and understanding your financials has been crucial. Knowing your numbers—profits, expenses, and key financial metrics—enables informed decision-making and long-term success. Many entrepreneurs fall into the trap of building their business as they go, only to realize later that they’ve missed crucial elements and have to go back and fill in the gaps. Which is so much harder, time consuming and sometimes expensive to get completed.
What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Any advice or strategies?
When I feel overwhelmed, my first instinct now is to prioritize rest and recharging. I believe in the importance of stepping back, unplugging, and allowing myself the time to rejuvenate. This mindset shift came after realizing that constant hustle doesn’t equate to productivity, and that rest is not a sign of laziness but a necessary part of maintaining mental clarity and focus. One of my go-to strategies is to engage in brain dumps. I find it incredibly helpful to take a large piece of paper and jot down everything that’s occupying my mind. This includes tasks, ideas, and concerns that are causing mental clutter. Once everything is on paper, I categorize and prioritize them. This exercise helps me distinguish between tasks that are critical for moving my business forward and those that can wait or aren’t as impactful.
As a solopreneur, the multitude of responsibilities and tasks can easily lead to overwhelm. Seeing everything laid out visually allows me to create a structured plan. Breaking down complex tasks into smaller, manageable steps helps me stay focused and reduces the feeling of being overwhelmed by the big picture.
I’ve also learned the importance of setting boundaries and being realistic about what I can achieve in a given day. Prioritizing tasks based on their impact on business growth has been key. By focusing on activities that “move the needle,” I can be more certain that whatever I might work on is more aligned with achieving meaningful progress.
Ultimately, managing overwhelm is an ongoing process of self-awareness and self-care. It’s about finding a balance between productivity and personal well-being. Taking breaks, organizing my thoughts through brain dumps, and prioritizing tasks effectively have been instrumental in maintaining my mental health and productivity as a solopreneur.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.nourishandloveco.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nourishandloveco
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nourishandloveco/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephanieayler/
- Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/nourishloveco
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCY77UW-ILD4WS8MwdsCGSjg
- Other: Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@nourishandloveco Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/nourishandloveco/
