Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Calista Garcia. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Calista, so great to have you with us today. There are so many topics we want to ask you about, but perhaps the one we can start with is burnout. How have you overcome or avoided burnout?
How I Became a Mermaid: Coping with POTS as a Musician
My fixation with mermaids began when I was 16, doing a photoshoot at a Nashville AirBnb. It was owned by a woman named Lola who had decked out the place with over 120 pieces of mermaid memorabilia she’d collected. Something about being submerged and immersed in this “mermaidom” clicked something in me. Oh! mermaids. Of course. Mermaids it is.
I began wading into mermaidia in more literal ways. I bought mermaid pants. I wore a silver wrap around mermaid ring everyday. I got my first tattoo, a mermaid tail on my ankle, freshman year of college at a Nashville tattoo parlor that was since blown up in the Christmas Bombing of 2020. Time is so weird. The same day I got tatted, the second I got back to my dorm, I heard something clatter on the marble floor of the lobby. My ring had snapped in two, one half the lady, one half the fish. Like I didn’t need to wear mermaids anymore. Like now that it was imprinted on my body, it was a part of me.
But the real transformation occurred after I’d moved back home to northern VA when the pandemic started. I began to feel so fatigued all the time. I began to feel terrible brain fog and dizziness if I stood for too long. I quit my barista job – I kept forgetting orders. I had a few public fainting spells, a couple at shows. I didn’t know what was happening to me. I’d always had this thing where my vision would black out for a few seconds if I stood up too fast, but now it was something different. Maybe it was triggered by COVID, maybe some hormones, I’ll never know exactly how it started.
I was incredibly lucky to be living in Northern VA at the time. After visiting different doctors and a LOT of research, I was able to find Dr. Hala Abdallah, one of the only POTS specialists in the country, who happened to work only a few towns over. Finding a diagnosis for invisible or chronic illnesses is an incredibly difficult thing, often it takes people years, especially with lesser known about illnesses like POTS. I was privileged to be in VA, and privileged to be young enough to still be on my parents’ healthcare – and that’s a lot of why I’ve been able to understand and learn about the condition in the ways I have. It’s a big reason I want to use my platform to educate those who may not know what’s going on in their bodies.
After many months of appointments, tilt table tests, and more, I was diagnosed in January 2022 with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) and hypermobile Ehlers-Dahlos Syndrome (hEDS). What is POTS? Or “mermaid syndrome”, as I’ve been thinking of it. It’s a chronic condition of the circulatory system, where essentially, when blood pumps from the heart to the rest of my body, it doesn’t come back up, it sinks with gravity, pooling in the hands and feet, and not staying in the brain. Hence, the brain fog, the fainting, etc. To try to counterract this, my heart tries to beat faster to pump more blood, and my body shoots jolts of adrenaline to try to rouse the blood back up. This results in heart palpitations and racing, as well as anxiety and a “fight-or-flight” physical response to such audacious acts as standing.
It’s sort of like my blood is the siren, and I’m the sailor being pulled down. I’m deep blue diving, whether I like it or not.
So how does one cope with POTS? While there’s no direct cure, there are things that help. The first is basically chugging salt water (actually). A body with POTS needs a ton of electrolytes and hydration to help the blood flow more. So lots of broths, gatorade and electrolyte drinks, pickles and corn nuts. Often my potion of choice right now as a broke 23 year old musician living in Brooklyn has just buying bulk ramen and just using the flavor packets as broth. Affordable and effective. The absolute peak life saver for me has been Liquid IV drinks. (3 or 4 a day). I also take Midodrine, a medicine which constricts the veins to help keep blood in. It’s super fast acting and worked like a charm at first, unfortunately its effectiveness has been waning for me. A lot of people also take beta blockers.
One of the best workout regiments prescribed to POTsies is actually no joke, swimming. Not built to walk on human legs, more to flap our fins, I guess. I love swimming and started doing some more of it, but getting up to hike to the YMCA has proven to be a bit too arduous to keep the habit up, in all honesty.
This condition has affected my life as a musician, and just a person, in huge ways. Music is such a physical career, and most of it’s what happens offstage. You ever carry a keyboard over a subway turnstile while a guitar’s on your back? I have. I don’t anymore. It affects rehearsals, touring opportunities, teaching, co-writes. The last minute cancellations make me feel like the flakiest gal in show business, a flaky friend, too. And much as I try, I can never 100% control it. The only thing it doesn’t seem to really affect is being on stage, and that’s a tremendous gift.
It hasn’t been the only gift POTS has given to me. It’s strange to talk about silver linings with something that has so primarily detracted from my life, but there have been significant ones. I’ve learned so, so much about listening to my body, and valuing myself as a human being, and therefore artist. I can no longer ignore my needs.
As a recovering people-pleaser, as a woman, and as a performer, there are so many ways we tried to bypass our bodies signals rather than listening, or connecting with them. The discomfort of pushing ourselves to the limit often isn’t enough, we get used to discomfort. When we starve/shrink ourselves, say “yes” to things we’d rather say “no” to, and act against our authenticity, we’re always pushing past the body’s protestations.
Feeling horrible at work wasn’t a good enough reason to rest or set boundaries, but the risk of fainting on the job, (embarrassing!), or being an unreliable presence was non-negotiable to me. I had to learn to gauge the amount of energy I was working with, to say no to things, to truly prioritize my time/needs. This may have saved my life.
And the prioritizing! I learned what I truly care about. It wasn’t clout/views. It wasn’t fighting to be seen. Some events I’d go home feeling so exhausted and burnt out. Some, I’d feel completely energized after. Surrounding yourself with the right people matters. Playing music you love that lights you up and lets it out matters. Laughter and joy, inner child care matter. We’re just animals at the end of the day.
Our bodies are so smart. There’s this species of duckling that are born in trees, some 50 ft high. Their very first day of life, their mother already departed, they instinctually know to all take a great leap from their nest (50 ft, for 3 inch tall babies), and find their way to the water below. Nobody tells them too, their bodies lead the way.
If I have any advice for any people or potential mermaids reading this, it’s to lean in and listen to your body. If you ignore and betray yourself, you’ll feel it one day. You – your time and your health, are inherently valuable.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I am a Latinx whimsy-rock singer/songwriter living in Brooklyn. I’ve released two EPs and an album, “Confession”, which came out in May 2023. I am currently working on my next album, and it’s the most excited I’ve ever been about music I’ve released. It’s bolder, weirder, louder, more self-actualized, and more socially relevant than anything I’ve previously shared, and I can’t wait to set it out into the wild.
Since moving to New York I’ve been able to build a wonderful band of some of my best friends + the most incredible musicians to share the stage with. I’ve started to have more fun with the idea of live performance period, treating it more like vaudeville, or a circus. Whether it’s bringing out my accordion, throwing glitter at the crowd or changing certain lyrics every night of the show, I want every show to feel like a unique experience.
Along with that, I’ve been in the process of redrafting a musical I put on when I was 17, called “Crystal Skies”. It’s about a witch coven in 1973, and I’m having a wonderful time immersing myself in the world, and the magic, and the characters I’ve come to fall in love with. I’m so excited to share that, too.
Beyond that, you can look out for my next single, “Entertaining Children During Wartime” coming soon. I wrote it about a lot of things, American media, gun violence, etc, but it’s felt really re-contextualized by what’s happening in Gaza now. When we allow people to destroy children, we destroy the roots we all grow from. When we allow the decimation of the earth, we do the same thing. I believe we’re better than what we’re seeing from our leaders at the moment.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Intuition: I think it’s funny how much old wisdom is now regarded as “woowoo” when it used to be seen as sensible. A lot of that’s because it’s non-western, and a lot of it’s been mostly passed on by women. But the truth is, people don’t always announce their intentions. Life can be random, there’s no set guidebook for how to live it, but going by feel has honestly been the most reliable approach. In my life, my creative work, my teaching. I wish I could tell my younger self that every time something/someone has felt off, or I’ve felt the urge to walk away, to do it. The reason always reveals itself. Same thing when something/someone feels good, safe and resonant, that’s when to lean in. When discernment is tricky and you don’t know what to trust, always trust your self/body first.
Get Weird: Often when I write a song, I tell myself at the start that this one’s just for me, and I’m not going to show it anywhere. I think my best songs come this way, when the pressure’s off, and I can just let it be what it is. I’m not writing a “hit single”, or trying to force a reaction out of a future listener, I’m just making stuff. Often, I’ll look at the song later and think, “is this too weird? Too personal? Can I say that?” and that probably means it’s a winner. I grappled a lot with whether to put my song “Sandcastles (Wash Away)” on the record, for these reasons. Now it’s one of my biggest regrets that it wasn’t the single cause it seems to be most people’s favorite. But I’ve since learned not to shy away from it. The next album definitely reflects that. And the lesson applies to life, too. Trying to be perfect and lovable never brought me the love and happiness that being my freakiest self has.
Love/Devotion: POTS has taught me to really prioritize my time, and constantly asking if something is worth doing, has really called into question why I do what I do. I love using the word “devotion” to describe motivational drive. I don’t want to “get ahead”, or step on others. I don’t want to use my career or craft as some sort of metric to measure my worth. I find numbers, clout, the “fame game” to be so uninteresting. I got into this business because I’m passionate about music, and art and expression. Devotion is a powerful driving force. I’m seeking out the ways that making music and sharing it is so wonderful. The feeling of, I can’t get enough, I want to give it my all, more, more, more. It can be intoxicating and addictive, a lot like being in love. And yes, I need to make a living, too. But devotion to one’s craft creates the kind of discipline that creates a high-level skillset, one that can be monetized. So do it for the love.
As we end our chat, is there a book you can leave people with that’s been meaningful to you and your development?
Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, was a really important read, especially as a Latinx woman, but I think it’s valuable for all women everywhere. She breaks down in a sort of feminist, Joseph Campbell way, mythological archetypes of “wild” empowered women, across time and legend. It feels like the whispers of your grandmothers, or ancestors, giving you the secret keys to your freedom and power, interspersed between the folktales, familial recipes and songs of your lineage.
It’s a beautiful, powerful guidebook. One that can be read over and over again, re-contextualized by whatever stage of your life you’re in. It taught me how to take up space, how to howl and primally scream, (why rock music is so important to me right now), and yes, how to tap into your intuition.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.calistagarcia.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/calistagarcia.music/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/p/Calista-Garcia-Music-100058177863676/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@CalistaGarciaMusic
Image Credits
Kirill Bykanov, Lexi Yob, Henry Ryeder, Lainey Wood
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
