Meet Pam Matula

 

We were lucky to catch up with Pam Matula recently and have shared our conversation below.

Pam, so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.

As a child, I was painfully shy and introverted and did everything I could not to draw attention to myself. I had very low self-esteem, and did not feel like I had a voice that mattered. By the time I was in my professional career as an accountant, I had not learned the skills to speak up for myself or to communicate effectively with peers or bosses. I was successful by most measurements, but it came at a cost. My anxiety level was high most of the time.
When I was close to 30 years old, I started running as a way to relieve stress and to process my thoughts. I discovered that I truly loved running, and started training for endurance races, which were primarily half marathons. I discovered that when I was training for a race, I was disciplined with my health, more focused, less anxious, and I felt overall better about myself. These small milestones grew to bigger milestones, and I started running more often, longer distances, for charity, and now as a half marathon pacer.
My path to confidence and higher self-esteem has been through goal setting and achievement, mostly through running. I have inspired many people to run, or to set their own personal goals based on the same principles I used in training for endurance races. Encouraging and inspiring others has developed my confidence as well as my self-esteem.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

I am the oldest of four girls and was the first in my family to go to college. I didn’t have a lot of direction about choosing a career, so I chose accounting because I thought it would suit my quiet personality. I thought accounting would be a lot of alone time behind a computer and not really interacting with others. It turned out to be much different from that in my experience, and I was out of my comfort zone for most of my accounting career (which was almost 30 years).
There were crazy people dynamics, overwhelming and unrealistic deadlines, and no real sense of security or team work in most of the work environments I was in. That left me with feelings of isolation, loneliness, anxiety, stress and even depression at times.
In the middle of trying to succeed in my career, I also went through a lot of personal struggles as well, including two failed marriages and a child out of wedlock. Trying to be seen as a respectable professional while enduring personal turmoil was challenging and almost impossible at times. My identity kept changing, and I never felt secure or seen for who I was inside. Part of the reason for that is that I kept a lot of struggles to myself. This in turn did a lot of damage to my mental health.
The good that came out of it all was I learned about perseverance, work ethics, discipline, time management, stress management, and what is really important in life – taking care of ourselves first so that we can connect and give back to others.
I am now a certified life coach, and it has been so fulfilling so far! I finally feel like I can be authentically myself, and I can encourage and inspire others to be their best self. Whether that is supporting someone to go after a personal goal, to help them envision a more fulfilling future and then build the steps towards it, to be a safe and listening ear to work through obstacles they are facing, to encourage them to speak out loud about their struggles so they aren’t tormented by them, or help them find a more positive mindset, I am loving all of it!
My main focus is on mental health and wellness, which I believe can be improved when we focus on ourselves first. I love to empower ladies to discover the most meaningful areas of life and values to them, and to make sure their life includes as much of it as possible based on the stage of life they are in.
I chose the name Intentional Butterfly Coaching as my business because I love the idea of transforming into our own unique butterfly, and we do this intentionally with each decision we make about our path.
I particularly enjoy one on one coaching because I genuinely love the connection made when two people are sharing their vulnerabilities. I also love hosting vision board workshops, book studies, group coaching, and coffee chats to allow ladies to just step away from their busy life for an hour to share a little of their life.
These days people are feeling more anxious and isolated than ever, so I enjoy creating options for connecting and for being seen and heard.
I have always been told that I have a calming and warm energy, that I am a great listener, and that people feel safe sharing with me. I also have a special ability to take in a lot of new information and pick out and focus on the most important things based on what I hear and also on what I observe.
Watching my clients grow their confidence and their physical and mental health is the most rewarding part of what I do!

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

The first quality that I believe was the most impactful in my journey is my shyness. Because I didn’t like attention to be brought to myself, I was typically quiet and I observed and listened to other people. Listening to others helps you gain empathy and perspective that you wouldn’t have if you are the one speaking. Empathy has been a quality that has helped me mentor others all my life, and also to be a great listener. I know how to pick up on the most important things, whether they are said or not.

The second quality that I believe was the most impactful in my journey is my discipline. I have always been a rule follower, and this had led to strong work ethics, respect from others, and promotions because I met or exceeded deadlines or expectations everywhere I went. I have always followed through with the goals I set for myself, or at least used the process as a learning opportunity for what to focus on next. Respect and discipline go hand in hand, and I believe these are both important qualities to have at work and in our personal lives.

The third area of knowledge that has been most impactful for me is learning not to struggle alone. I always thought I would be a burden to others if I shared my struggles, so as a result I suffered quietly for many years. This impacted my journey greatly, in my work as well as personal relationships. The more I have focused on speaking up, and sharing my struggles to work through them and understand them, the better my mental health has become. I now love to empower others to do the same.

The advice I would have for those early in their journey is first take the time to really understand what brings meaning and happiness into your life. In other words, understand what your values are. For some people, it might be financial security, and for others it may be spending time with family, having a balanced lifestyle, or something else. Early in my career, I thought that being successful meant making the most amount of money possible. Being focused only on that, however, caused my mental health and my personal relationships to suffer. I didn’t understand my values, so there was no path to happiness.

Next, when you are struggling, find someone you trust that you can share your struggles with. Chances are, what you think you are going through alone is common, and there are people who can help you work through your obstacles.

Also, you don’t have to be shy to be a good listener. Learning to stop talking, observe others, and truly listen to them without just waiting to respond is a valuable skill that can help improve every relationship in your life.

And lastly, setting and achieving attainable personal goals is my best advice for developing wholeness, confidence, self-esteem, mental health, and long term happiness and fulfillment.

How would you spend the next decade if you somehow knew that it was your last?

Right now, my biggest challenge is putting myself out there so that people can get to know me enough to want to reach out to me. I know that trust must exist before someone will want to hire me as a coach, so I have been networking, posting on social media, socializing much more, and getting outside of my comfort zone so that others can feel safe to get out of theirs.
There is a huge amount of vulnerability involved with starting a personal business like life coaching, and I know I have to accept a lot of rejection before the right people find me.
This is my calling though, so I am in it for the long haul!

Contact Info:

Image Credits

Candice O’Brien

Suggest a Story: BoldJourney is built on recommendations from the community; it’s how we uncover hidden gems,
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
Resilience
Where do you get your resilience from?

Resilience is often the x-factor that differentiates between mild and wild success. The stories of

Productivity
Beating Burnout

Often the key to having massive impact is the ability to keep going when others

Leadership Development
Finding Your Why

Not knowing why you are going wherever it is that you are going sounds silly,