Meet Y. Tay Robson

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Y. Tay Robson a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Y. Tay , really happy you were able to join us today and we’re looking forward to sharing your story and insights with our readers. Let’s start with the heart of it all – purpose. How did you find your purpose?

I would like to say that I always knew what my purpose is. However, that is not the case. Nevertheless, over time I have found myself in the position to serve others in various aspects of my life; oftentimes, during the lowest point of their lives. It was in those moments of service that I realized that my purpose is to love others, encourage their hearts, pray for them, and provide support and resources to those in need.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

I’ve dedicated 32 years of my life to social work and social services which has provided me great opportunities to learn how to effectively serve individuals or families navigating some of life’s greatest obstacles, challenges, traumas, and/or circumstances. I have had the pleasure to work with individuals and families from diverse populations who are living through homelessness, near homelessness, unemployment, mental health issues or concerns, grief & loss, trauma, and other adverse life experiences. In doing so, I was unknowingly being prepared to navigate the greatest loss of my life. On April 21, 2018 my daughter Day’Zshia Marie McKinley was killed in an intimate partner violence episode which left my three very young grandsons without their beautiful and loving mother. Though devastated, grieving, and emotionally tossed, I assumed full responsibility for the care of my grand-babies who were 2, 3, & turning 5 years old at the time.

Since then, I have dedicated my life to raising the boys and learning all I can about traversing the grief process and what it takes to achieve true healing and acceptance after significant loss. In doing so, this year as a way to honor and remember Day’Zshia Marie, God blessed me to begin establishing GCHM (Grief Can’t Hold Me) which is an online virtual grief & peer support group for child loss survivors that includes an amazing initiative called, ‘The Teddy Bear Project.’ The Teddy Bear Project provides grief support bears and tips for how to care for yourself while you’re grieving to those who have experienced loss. To date, we have distributed 119 bears to individuals and families in 16 states (and counting). What initially started as way to remember Day’Zshia while letting other grieving parents know that they were not alone, and their children have not been forgotten has turned into an ongoing labor of love.

GCHM has become the outward expression of my commitment and promise to not die with my daughter Day’Zshia, but to continue to strive to live a life full of love, overflowing joy, and service to others despite the waves of grief that inevitably come. “Where there is great love, there is great grief. ” – unknown. I’ve come to my place of acceptance with grief being an eventual aspect of love that is lost whether to death or other life circumstances.

However, I now realize that we don’t have to die with those we’ve lost. Instead we should become the vessels by which their love continues to live on.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

The 3 skills, qualities, and/or areas of knowledge that have been most impactful on my healing journey are my faith, the ability to be flexible, and the commitment to choosing love, joy, and gratitude over unforgiveness, wrath, or anger. Learning and practical application of the above-mentioned skills and/or qualities can begin to help you to successfully navigate and eventually traverse nearly any of life’s uncomfortable conditions, situations, and/or circumstances. When we remember that everything new requires an adjustment period. We are more likely to not only give ourselves grace in those times where we fall short, and become more capable of extending it to others who need it more freely when necessary.

Simply put, when faced with the choice to choose anger or empathy. Choose empathy.

Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?

The biggest obstacles or challenges in facing right now is connecting with individuals who have a heart for helping others and determining a viable funding source that will allow me to continue to do the work I’ve been doing with GCHM and The Teddy Bear Project. Everything happens based on donations received from individuals who believe in supporting grieving individuals or families on their healing journeys as they work to adjust to a new reality without their angel child or loved ones.

Contact Info:

• Other: Griefcantholdme1@gmail.com

Image Credits

GCHM moms Facebook group members.