Meet Ciaran Short

We were lucky to catch up with Ciaran Short recently and have shared our conversation below.

Ciaran, so great to be with you and I think a lot of folks are going to benefit from hearing your story and lessons and wisdom. Imposter Syndrome is something that we know how words to describe, but it’s something that has held people back forever and so we’re really interested to hear about your story and how you overcame imposter syndrome.

I haven’t and I don’t think anybody ever does. Reaching certain goals I previously fantasized about has showed me that outward success has very little impact on how I perceive myself. In the past, I spent so much time fixated on achieving something, but then when it happened, nothing changed. There will always be more to strive for, so while I certainly enjoy working, I’ve tried put less stock into external validation. I think I’ve gotten better at pretending and essentially tapping into a level of performance where I just decide to be a confident version of myself for a predetermined amount of time, but, internally, I constantly feel out of place. Nobody was born being able to inherently do anything, so all of the value we put into talent, education, or anything that’s meant to measure a certain skill is entirely based on a subjective scale of our own experiences. Any concept of being good at something is just us comparing ourselves to someone else and that will inevitably have a negative effect when we run into someone that’s better than us at a certain a thing. You’ll never achieve everything you set out to do, or be the best at everything, so I feel like it’s a lot about managing expectations of yourself. People really like to idealize artists as being unique, but I think all people have the same desire to create; it’s just about how creative output has been quantified by outside society. Whether it’s painting, knitting, world building in a video game, or designing your bedroom, I think that doubt about your decision-making ability will still exist. As long as you understand that doubt is an internal feeling you have control over, then any notions of being an imposter don’t actually matter because you’re always deciding the stakes of what will or won’t actually affect you.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

My practice is about bearing witness to New York. People look at the city but they don’t really see. Sometimes I feel like I was born with X-rays in my pupils allowing me to see beyond the realm of the perceived world and dive deeper beyond the external barriers of concrete into the inner workings of the city’s darkest depths. One time, I saw a crocodile through the peephole of a sewer grate. I wanted to knock and enter the subterranean dwelling, but I didn’t know if I was seeing the objective truth of the situation, or the imagined reality of my mind’s eye. But, anyway, that’s the place from which I create a lot of my work. It depends which way the wind’s blowing, the earth’s shaking, and which creatures are running around the streets of New York on any given night. And that’s why I love art: you never know what’s real or not.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

Not having a driver’s license has often trapped me in rather sedentary cycles of life, so in order to expand past my current station of being, I’ve had to follow the highway of my imagination towards greener pastures. Although imagined, time flies when your eyes are closed. I also have a rather strong disdain for forks; I prefer eating everything with a spoon. Obviously, this presents many challenges. But the role of the artist is to creatively overcome challenges. Thus, life becomes practice and practice becomes life. Merging your general existence with your art-making will allow you to truly find satiation. Ultimately, though, anxiety is what allowed me to follow my dreams due to an inability to find success in any industry except one where I could make all the rules myself, which is what art is all about.

Before we go, any advice you can share with people who are feeling overwhelmed?

I love seemingly meaningless rituals. I go to the park and find a nice patch of grass where the sun is shining. I lay out and write down all my worries. Then, I dig a little hole, but I make sure the park workers don’t see because holes are typically frowned upon, but as long as I don’t make too big of a hole, it’s usually okay. I then tear out the sheet of paper from my notebook with the worries on it, bury the sheet of paper in the hole, and leave. Afterward, I still have the same worries swirling around in my head, but sometimes doing a symbolic action of removal will make me feel a little bit better.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://allstnyc.substack.com/