We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Kristina Adam. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Kristina below.
Kristina, thank you so much for agreeing to talk with us about a deeply personal and sensitive topic. Postpartum depression affects so many in the community and hearing from someone who has overcome PPD might help someone who is going through it right now. For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience
Following my daughter’s birth, I experienced severe Postpartum Depression and Postpartum Rage, which profoundly changed my life. My pregnancy had been blissful – nine dreamy months that deeply connected me to my purpose of being a mother. And during a golden sunset on a warm September evening, my daughter was born at home in our bathtub, just as I had dreamed she would. She arrived fast and furious, in a 4-hour birth. She was perfect, healthy, and so ready for this world. But despite her perfect health, I hemorrhaged and a few hours later, we found ourselves in an ambulance on the way to the hospital. What followed was an agonizing night of treatments and blood transfusions, leaving me and my body in a state of trauma.
The first weeks and months of her life feel like a blur now. A newborn bubble, that sadly involved more ambulance rides and ER visits, as well as many, seemingly unending days with a colicky baby. Around five weeks postpartum, I first noticed signs of Postpartum Depression. I remember voicing my concerns to my husband and mother, but I pushed through the following weeks with the expectation that, because other women could do it, I had to as well. I convinced myself that I just had to try a little harder and think a bit more positively. But somewhere along the way, I lost myself in the blur. Between three and four months postpartum, I started to feel like I was going crazy. My husband believes I experienced forms of psychosis; what I vividly remember are the nightly episodes of despair, rage, suicidal ideations, and deep grief. Finally, I hit a breaking point and knew I needed support, which felt incredibly embarrassing and shameful to admit at the time.
Thankfully, I found an amazing therapist specializing in PPD (through Life after Birth) and was able to receive therapy sessions twice a week, an incredible privilege for which I am deeply grateful. I also started taking flower remedies that support the hormone shift in those first months (Alexis Smart’s Moon River helped tremendously). Other helpful resources in my recovery were Facebook groups about PPD, which made me feel less alone, as well as books (like Mama Rising) and TV shows (like Working Moms) that break the stigma and normalize the struggle of the entire postpartum experience. For a while, I thought something was uniquely wrong with me for going through all this, until I realized just how many women out there struggle too. Understanding that I wasn’t alone and that my struggles weren’t my fault was pivotal. I had felt so much guilt for not being in the blissful love bubble everyone had told me about, but I learned to forgive myself and ultimately fought my way back into life.
Stories of women who experienced PPD or psychosis seemed so distant to me before motherhood, and I never thought I would be one of them. But I realized quickly that experiences like mine are so much more common than we think. Sadly, there is a lot of shame and secrecy surrounding PPD, which leads to a fear of speaking up and sharing honestly. We don’t talk enough about how much mothers hold and how much support they really need, especially in those first months postpartum. We’ve lost the village support that used to be one of the most important components of motherhood; we forgot that we were never supposed to do it all on our own.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
I’m the founder of Aether, an LA-based wellbeing brand that is rooted in the ethos of feminine energy and a deep reverence for the healing power of nature. Following nearly a decade in the world of luxury design, my venture into the wellness industry began with a personal pursuit for inner peace and balance. Along my journey, I recognized the universal need for practices that invite a slower pace of life, a realization that inspired me to create experiences where women can receive profound nourishment and care.
We just opened up the second iteration of our wellbeing studio in the serene Pacific Palisades where we provide a curated selection of experiences designed to nurture and awaken the feminine self within. Through wellness treatments, gatherings, and immersive wellness retreats, we offer a sanctuary where women can return to their body’s wisdom and explore the essence of their being. Witnessing the transformative impact our work has had on the lives of the women in our community fills me with deep gratitude. As we evolve and expand our offerings, my greatest wish is to continue nurturing this community, empowering women to feel nourished and deeply cared for in a world that often feels chaotic and overwhelming. Aether really is an invitation to pause amidst life’s chaos and reconnect with the essence of the present moment.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
A beautiful question, I love thinking back on the most impactful moments that have shaped my journey through life up to this point. One of the practices that has stood out to me most, is to muster up the courage to ask. Just ask! If you’re interested in a job but there is no opening for it, ask. If there is a brand or person you are interested in working with, ask. If you would like to know how someone got to where they are, ask. Some doors in life open easier than expected if we have the courage to just ask.
Another thing that has felt very impactful is not being afraid to invest money in my growth whether through a private coach or personal growth events. Having mentors and guides along the way is an incredibly essential tool for learning about yourself and where you want to be going in life. These experiences instilled in me increased confidence as well as integrity and the desire to create meaningful change in the world. But honestly, above everything else, I believe that staying grounded in the present moment is the most valuable and powerful practice for us all. We so easily get stuck in the past or the future, that we sometimes forget about the beauty that life has to offer right here in this moment. Every day, I go outside to be in nature and become present to all that is around me. Just my feet on the earth, eyes closed, and deep breaths. This is where I find grace and gratitude, and everything else begins to feel irrelevant.
How can folks who want to work with you connect?
I believe that magical things happen when we support each other, especially as women. At Aether, we always love partnering with like-minded brands, who create wellbeing experiences and products that are kind to our hearts, bodies, and the Earth. Amongst others, some of our most recent brand partners have included Goop, Jenni Kayne, Oak Essentials, and Maude. If you are a brand that is interested in collaborating on an event, product launch, retreat, or similar experience, we’d love to connect and dream something up together!
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.aetherhealing.com
- Instagram: @aetherhealing
Image Credits
Maike Grimm
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