We were lucky to catch up with Abby Regner recently and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Abby, really happy you were able to join us today and we’re looking forward to sharing your story and insights with our readers. Let’s start with the heart of it all – purpose. How did you find your purpose?
My purpose on this planet is providing compassionate and empathetic end of life care for pets. My path to this destination started when I was young and growing up on a dairy farm.
My life from the very start involved animals. My Dad was a hard working dairy farmer that really cared for his animals. I would spend time in the barns while he worked and then began helping as I got older. Farming is a difficult way of life but my Dad never skimped on making sure the animals were well cared for. Each cow has a name and he always had music playing 24/7 because he thought they enjoyed it. He also spent extreme energy and effort to keep things clean, tidy and comfortable for the animals. This level of consideration for our animals stuck with me. I developed my own great love for animals always keeping their well being in the forefront.
Becoming a veterinarian felt like a natural transition. I attended Cornell University and graduated with my Doctorate of Veterinary Medicine in 2012. I joined a large practice providing general and emergency medicine. My career was everything I thought it would be; I was in a position to help animals as well as educate owners on how to best care for them. Fast forward to when it was time for our family dog to pass. Despite my career as a veterinarian and having helped many families through this emotional journey, it was never my pet. I had at this point, not been the veterinarian and the pet owner. The thought of bringing my dog, Chief, to work with me to have his last moment was unacceptable. After great consideration I decided I had the strength to help Chief pass at home with my family. It was a beautiful sunny day and my family gathered outside in one of the fields. It was just us and a gentle breeze to evaporate our tears. I talked to Chief and we all gave him love as he fell into his final rest at my hands. We were all devastated but in that moment my purpose on this planet was reveled.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
I am the proud owner of Parting Paws and end of life veterinarian. I have a career focused on love, compassion and empathy. I help pets have a peaceful transition at home while also supporting the families that are left here to grief. I find everyday to be meaningful as I am helping pets and humans alike have a guide on one of their worst days. While my job, technical skill wise, is fairly simple it is the energy and emotion I pour into it that makes Parting Paws really special. I do this work because I have been on both sides of the line and I find peace in being the rock many need. My goal is to ensure from the moment we connect they know I am on their side and they can lean on me. Everyone has their own beliefs but I truly believe it doesn’t end here and envisioning rainbow bridge and the incredible experience they are having now comforts me, I also like to think I have a “VIP club” that I will connect with again.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Communication: When I am speaking with families, they are at a heightened level of emotion and it was important for me to learn how best to communicate with them during such a sensitive and stressful time. As an emergency veterinarian prior I learned to speak with a loud and firm voice, often taking the role as leader. My body language was often standing to again command authority. As I transitioned into an end of life veterinarian my communication skills needed and did shift. I now speak slowly and quietly. I rarely stand during appointments, I join the family and pet where they are most comfortable.
The small things are the big things: Working as an emergency veterinarian in a large practice I was often focused on big things; advanced tools, complicated surgeries, challenging cases. While I was able to help many pets and families I now understand that it is really the small things that most people connect with. When I walk into a home there is no grand gesture; I bring my whole heart and guide the family through the appointment gently. When the appointment is over I sometimes place a bandage with a special little heart or hide a little penny with a poem for them to find later. These little things that I do now, are the big things because of the way they make people feel and that is a lesson I now use my personal life as well.
Your support team matters: Who you surround yourself with can make or break your success. Energy is infectious and only allowing positivity, constructive feedback and encouragement around you will fuel success. Support team does not mean only employees or co-workers, this includes friends, family and mentors. Find your cheerleaders and keep them close.
Any advice for folks feeling overwhelmed?
I am often overwhelmed with emotion. Sometimes it is because my empathy is so real I truly feel the pain of my clients and take that home with me and sometimes it is because I can’t help every family that calls even though I so desperately want to. Regardless of the underlying cause I have and will continue to have to focus on self-care for longevity in this career. The first thing that has helped is learning to recognize the feelings of being overwhelmed, the earlier I can intervene the quicker I can often recover. I use breathe work and visualization techniques to help. If I am on the road I can pull over to close my eyes and take some deep breathes or sometimes cry to let it all out. I visualize the beauty of rainbow bridge and all of the animals that are no longer suffering on this planet and instead running free participating in their favorite activities. I have learned to not suppress feelings but to let them out so I can then move forward. When I am not on the road and become overwhelmed, I look to physical activity. I enjoy working out and being active. Movement is medicine and I find moving my body helps heal the mental and physical side effects of stress.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.partingpaws.com
- Instagram: @PartingPaws
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/partingpaws
Image Credits
Dog Photographer of Tampa Bay
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