We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Tess Allen a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Tess, so excited to have you with us today. So much we can chat about, but one of the questions we are most interested in is how you have managed to keep your creativity alive.
I started dancing when I was 3 and by 9 I was en pointe. Singing became a passion as I found my love for music extended from ballet, and becoming the song was alchemy. With a 5 year career/degree at The Boston Conservatory, I really think I have a creative soul.
Career-wise, my heart is very much in the non-profit world. Prior to serving the LGBTQ+ community in Ventura County, I worked for a non-profit that served children with disabilities, one that built a hospital, and volunteered with an organization that planted indigenous trees around Los Angeles County.
So. How do I keep creativity alive now? I love my job and I love being a mother and both of those require creative thinking much of the time!
My biggest problem is keeping my “battery” charged. I do that by playing with our dog, Loki. He’s a huge German Shepherd with the heart of a puppy. I recharge by creating things – I’ve dabbled in knitting, painting rocks, writing, and pointillism.
The best way for me to recharge is to go to the beach. I love walking through the waves, checking out the tidepools, and imagining the world below the surface – full of life and magic and the source of all things. I feel a part of everything there by the vast ocean.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
Diversity Collective Ventura County (DCVC) is the leading LGBTQ+ organization that serves the entire county. I have the honor of being the Executive Director.
We have a staff that is forward-thinking, committed to the community, and very hard working. They are the gem at the heart of our organization, and Diversity Collective wouldn’t be where we are now without them!
We offer 7 programs for ages 9 and up. Through our programs, we estimate that, on average, we serve over 500 people each month. Two programs are specifically designed for youth. Little Unicorns is for ages 9-13, and Rainbow Umbrella is for youth ages 13-23. We have a men’s program- Outspoken that meets weekly, and a women’s program- VENXS, that meets every full moon. Our book club and discussion group is 100% online, over Zoom, so participants don’t have to leave their home, but can interact with other like-minded individuals. We also have Diversity SHINES, offering free and confidential STI/HIV screenings and education, navigation toward proper medications, and supplies. Currently, we are in conversation about taking on a transgender group to round out our offerings.
Most of these groups meet in our Community Resource Center – a place where many of our LGBTQ+ community call home. Our staff is always looking to make it safe and inviting, and we welcome anyone to come take a tour and learn more about what we offer!
The Community Resource Center is also the home to like-minded groups that are not part of DCVC, such as Diversity Toastmasters, PFLAG, LGBTQ Narcotics Anonymous, and a group for partners of transgender folks. We strive to be the “hub” of the LGBTQ+ world for Ventura County and surrounding areas. If we don’t offer something, we work on outsourcing (like a 55+ group) so that all needs are filled.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
1. Be kind, do kind. Even in the face of heavy opposition. You never know what someone’s back story is. I learned this when I was a young person, waiting tables. A family came in, and boy did they looked grumpy. So much so that the person who was supposed to wait on that table asked to give it away. Some of the servers looked and said “no”. I don’t know what came over me, but I said, “I’ll take them. And watch – I’ll bet all of you $10 that I will get them to smile before they leave.” Well, the people at that table were very morose, and didn’t even look me in the eye when I was taking their order. I matched their energy, and I was pretty sure I was going to lose all of my tips to my co-workers on that bet. But I kept their soda glasses full and their table clean, and in the end I bought them a dessert just to see if they would respond. When I put the check on the table, the woman grabbed my hand, looked at me, and smiled. BOOM! As they left, the older son came back and said, “We lost my Dad 2 weeks ago, and this is the first time we have been out of the house. You were so kind to us, I just wanted you to know that you made a big difference.” (Of course I didn’t collect on the bet – but my co-workers were astonished!)
I remember that story – every nuance – because it shook me and blatantly offered me the best life lesson of all. Be kind.
2. Set a good example. It’s a lot like the Golden Rule – treat people the way you would like to be treated. But I feel like that is only the surface. Set the example of how you want the world to perceive you, and they will rise to that level. Give grace, and grace will return to you. We are all the mirror of each other, so set the example. Reach a little higher, dig a little deeper, show a little more compassion, and you will see that everyone around you will do the same.
3. Be a good listener. When someone is talking, instead of listening through a filter, instead of listening just to hear a break in their story so you can say something, be quiet and listen. Take in the story they are telling you, because it has value. Being a good listener means having an open heart, too. If you listen to what is being said, you can learn so much about a person, who they are, where they want to be, what gifts they have to offer the world.
When my daughter started going to preschool, I decided I should say a consistent phrase to her every morning so that she knew that even if I was going away, I would still come back that afternoon. I created a phrase off the top of my head that I started using. It continued through elementary and middle school and I even say it once in a while to my now teenager, because I know that it is comforting. I would tell her that I would see her a little later, and then I would say,
“Be a good listener, set a good example, and do some kindness. I love you.”
What’s been one of your main areas of growth this year?
Over the past 12 months I have found a deeper sense of self, a realization that I can and will stand up for what I believe in. I have been challenged by community members and folks on social media platforms, and that helped reinforce my belief that we are doing some serious good here at Diversity Collective.
I just had a milestone birthday and I think it is true – at some point you stop worrying about what others think and start living in the world how you always wanted to. That is also true with a job, in my opinion. We grow, we dig deep and find who we are and in doing so, we see that there is a firm foundation on which to stand while you do the things you know will make this planet a better place to live. With the growth an deeper sense of self has come a lot more patience and understanding. As a result of the continued inquiry into who I am, I am learning to take a breath, realize the lesson, move through obstacles and anxiety, and stick to the one thing I will not waver on: Being kind.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.diversitycollective.org
- Instagram: @_diversitycollective
- Facebook: Diversity Collective VC
- Linkedin: Tess Allen or Diversity Collective Ventura County
Image Credits
Images 4 & 5: Johnny Ortez
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