Meet Kore Murphy

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Kore Murphy a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Kore, thank you so much for making time for us today. We can’t wait to dive into your story and the lessons you’ve learned along the way, but maybe we can start with something foundational to your success. How have you gone about developing your ability to communicate effectively?

I grew up in a house that was loud. To be heard you had to speak up. The TV was loud. The kitchen cabinets were loud. Yelling. Laughter. Shouting from upstairs. My brothers tantrums. Sports teams losing. If you had something to say you better get it out and get it out quickly.
I have always been a sensitive child so I grew up having lots of emotional outbursts which certainly got me a response; but as you get older you realize you don’t always want a response, you want to be heard. So I had to figure out how to make my words be heard the way my feelings felt.
My family ended up being the perfect training ground.
My father is very set in his opinions and will rarely understand something presented too far from his worldview so communicating with him requires a slower speed and references from his wheelhouse and value system.
My mother is a behaviorist. Communication with her needs to be logical and will always be viewed with an extra layer of what is being said behind the words. She has shown me that to communicate effectively you also need to be aware of the person’s behaviors and energies to know when and why the conversation may be turning.
My oldest brother I lovingly refer to as ‘Brain’. He has taught me that communication is most effective when you stay calm and the facts are correct. When entering communication with him the research needs to be done on both sides to give equal side to ‘the debate’. Exaggerations can be dangerous to the quality of a conversation but emotional maturity and a wee bit of humor conquer all.
Lastly, my other brother has Down Syndrome and Autism and he has taught me the most about how to communicate effectively. He works solely off of your energy. He knows some words, although pronounced differently and most of the time we find our way through visuals, references and silly sounds. He has shown me effective communication doesn’t require you to speak the same words as long as you meet the individual with a clear, kind, open energy, you can make your way through any conversation or argument.
I grew up thinking that as long as you were loud and got your first thought out there, you were being effective. Now that I’ve grown up I’ve learned that to truly be effective at communicating your point, it’s best to take your time, be kind, speak honestly, and stay aware of how you are affecting the people around you.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

LSpeaking about myself has always been a sticky question for me. I usually end up talking about the people or situations in my life instead of myself. I suppose because I am nothing without the ones who have held me up when I have fallen and kept the flame lit when I kept trying to put it out. To put it plainly, I am who I love.
I grew up in the south bay beach cities performing in whatever local theatre I could find or singing and dancing along to musical soundtracks and movies in my friends living rooms.
The two things I love most fiercely in this world are the ones I consider family and the arts.
Acting, Singing, Dancing and Impersonations were my safe haven and always have been. They help me make sense of myself and the world around me. As you get older of course you realize a healthy therapist is also needed but I’ve always felt that theirs no emotion that can’t be enhanced or healed by a good show, song or just dancing that mf’er out!!
At this stage in my life I thought I would be cliffside in Italy a la the female Leonardo DiCaprio but apparently life and my spirit guides had other plans and you know what? THAT IS OKAY!! I want anyone reading to know that life doesn’t end at 16, it doesn’t end at 21, theirs beauty after the 27club and Forbes 30 under 30, respectfully and humbly, can suck-it! Life is like a video game and each ‘year’ I now consider a new ‘level’ a new ‘chapter’.
I have beaten the pavements, done the casting calls, been signed to agents, paid for the casting classes and the most valuable thing I have learned, is who I am as an artist and what I want out of my art.
I now have established a wonderful family of creative friends who I trust and we are working on some truly unique and special scripts. We are building our own production company and filming projects ourselves throughout the rest of this year. Keep an eye out for a movie called ‘Honey Trap’. Especially if you love anarchy, revenge, oh and drag queens!
I am also about to release a podcast with my brother from another mother Kevin Kempis called “We’re Gonna Figure It Out” where we discuss all things life, mental health, the industry and what it means to be an artist in this day and age.
Lastly, and certainly not least in anyway, although performing has a big ol’ chunk of my heart, the majority of it is taken hostage by my real brother who I truly would be NOTHING without.
Kevin has Down Syndrome and Autism and I would be lying if I said things weren’t tough. His tantrums and obsessions will test every part of your patience but he has also taught me more about listening, understanding, joy, love and perspective than anything ever could in this world. This past June I had the pride and joy of finally becoming his co-conservator alongside my mother and my eldest brother. He is my best friend and if I could ask anything of the readers today it would be to donate to the wonderful DS-ASD Connection. https://ds-asd-connection.org/how-to-help/ and also if you ever see someone out in public who has Autism and/or Down Syndrome, to be please be kind and be patient and remember that they are SO smart and much more aware than this world gives them credit for. They love deeply and want to be included just like everyone else.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

Qualities such as loyalty, authenticity and owning up to your part even when a mistake is made, is in my definition, pure gold. Those are attributes that I believe you either have or you don’t and it starts from childhood. What I want readers to know, is that will help you solidify quality relationships. Having a group of people around that you can trust and rely on makes the storms of success feel a LOT less rocky. What I think readers need to hear, is these following areas of knowledge I have learned over time.
Pardon my language but, FUCK A TIMELINE! Stop worrying so much about doing things by a certain age or that ‘so and so’ has done it before you. Focus on today and this moment and what can you do right now that could help improve, make you feel better about you, or get you closer to your goal.
Secondly, THE 1% RULE! This is still hard for me as someone with mad ADHD because I always think in terms of 0 or 100 but so many numbers exist in between and if you can just make a small 1% improvement to your lifestyle, your attitude, your schedule, your project, your eating, how you spoke to yourself etc. that is absolutely a win for the day!
Most importantly, I constantly heard the advice of “you are who you hang out with” and I am begging you to please hear it….. I spent far too many years hanging out with people who were absolutely a fun time but they did nothing to improve my health, my wealth or get me closer to my artistic goals. Sadly they got me further away from them. I don’t like to say I regret anything because I will always learn a lesson about people and situations. However, if I could go back in time I without a doubt would have surrounded myself with fellow creative artists who were focused on being positive, supportive and making dreams a reality!

Before we go, any advice you can share with people who are feeling overwhelmed?

I think it’s impossible to not feel overwhelmed in today’s society, especially living in America. Everything is in such high demand, our phones are glued to our hands if not our wrists, notifications left and right, how will we pay for this? Wait did you post that? I’m already overwhelmed. I’m a huge advocate for deactivating social media. Sorry ZuckerMusk I know that’s not the most popular answer but I have found thats a huge way for me to start releasing pressure. Not having to constantly see what the entire world is up to or debating or promoting gives my brain a chance to start relaxing and connecting back to the present moment.
A lot of the times I’ll often get myself comfy in bed with some squishmallows and my doghter Goldie and put on some high frequency music and just let my mind sit quiet and wander for a bit. This 95% of the time results in a delicious nap but again reader, we have to end the nap shaming culture! Don’t let capitalism win all of the times! Let your body rest and allow your soul to play in another realm for a bit. Your brain will thank you once you awaken.
Being overwhelmed is a signal from your cells that you have been running on overdrive for too long and they need a break. Imagine you as a small child on the verge of tears. We all know as adults if we saw a small child about to breakdown we’d wrap them up and say ‘hey okay take a breath whatever you’re worrying about doesn’t matter right now, right now it’s time to relax.’ Why can’t we extend that same grace to ourselves? Next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, go to a quiet place, even your car, go to youtube type in high frequency music and just close your eyes and breathe. Let your brain melt. You deserve that little treat!!

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.koremurphy.com
• Instagram: https://instagram.com/koremurphy

Image Credits

Cathryn Farnsworth
John Geronilla