Meet Arial Harper

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Arial Harper. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Arial below.

Arial , thank you so much for joining us today. Let’s jump right into something we’re really interested in hearing about from you – being the only one in the room. So many of us find ourselves as the only woman in the room, the only immigrant or the only artist in the room, etc. Can you talk to us about how you have learned to be effective and successful in situations where you are the only one in the room like you?

One way that I have learned to be effective in a room when I am the only one that looks like me is to simply show up as me. I show up in whatever version of myself that I choose to be because anxiety doesn’t always come from that the room its about the pressure of feeling like you have to show up (code switch) as anyone other than yourself to be accepted. I always keep in mind that if the opportunity was presented for me to be in that room that means that I deserve to be in that room as my authentic self without the worry of acceptance or interpretation.

One thing that I have learned throughout the years is that intention doesn’t overshadow impact, so regardless of who you intend to be people are going to perceive you in whatever 1+1 equation so why not just be you?

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

I am a Southwest Arkansas native with a passion for helping people which is why I became a Therapist. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor that is the owner and founder of C.O.P. OUT, LLC which is my private practice for therapy. C.O.P. OUT LLC was created to be just as the name suggests to be a safe place where people can dwell and do the work as the place a pause on life until they can be begin again. I love the work that I do and the reward that comes from it by changing lives by simply just allowing people to be seen and heard. My primary focus is trauma, grief/loss, and post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) because in these populations people often loss their identity and voice so its a beautiful journey assisting them in finding those things again to begin living again rather than just surviving the moments.

Among being a therapist, two other hats that I wear are that of being a published author, Miracle Child: There’s no such thing as a lost cause only a work in progress, and a motivational speaker. My book was created with my inner child in mind but also the thought that when sitting in a room, most people look for that one person to say something first to begin the conversation. Miracle child serves as that one person, me, telling my story but also my why on how I became a therapist. From a culture standpoint there is a fear of being different at times or to go against because we just simply don’t like dealing with feelings at times or conflict so it was my goal to open the door to uncomfortable conservations for healing. Motivational speaking serves the same purpose, some people never have someone to come from certain things that are similar to them and genuinely connect to their experience. I may never reach the entire crowd but even if instill a light of hope into 2-3 people that’s enough to light a path in a different direction.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

Learning the value in losing, learning how to meet people where they are, and intentionally being able to show up for yourself. I feel like in each of these three qualities its about learning that perception is everything. When you learn the value of losing you equally learn the gratitude in winning which balance each other because every win isn’t a gain and every loss isn’t a lose, sometimes you have to lose in order to win. In my second point, alot of times we encounter situations where people don’t necessarily do something a right way or a wrong way but they just didn’t do it the way that we wanted it to be done. I think the purest form of grace is meeting people where they are and not placing them where want to be because in reality when this happen your not seeing them from their point of view but rather the expectation of who you want to be. It’s funny how easy it is for us to be selfish at times right? In my last point, along your journey make sure that self care and self love is a priority. It’s so easy to show up for everyone else except yourself then give yourself the left over.

The best advice I can give is, place people in the box that they belong in and not just the box that you want them to be in so that your expectations don’t turn into resentments. Positive and negative experiences are just about perception so why carry the weight of holding yourself down when Peter Pan taught us long ago that happy thoughts make us fly.

As we end our chat, is there a book you can leave people with that’s been meaningful to you and your development?

Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown will always get my praises because it was truly a game changer for me. A lot of times we struggle with communication, self expression, simply because we can’t explain to another person feelings that we can’t explain to ourselves right? I know you may think, “she’s a therapist how does she not know emotions?” My answer to that is you can look at something and never truly see it which was my case before completely coming into my field. I had viewed the words to look at them on a surface level but this book goes through emotions in depths with examples so you can actually see you experiences through them to finally pinpoint how you are actually feelings because there are more emotions that come to you in life than anger, sadness, happiness, and fear.

Contact Info:

• Website: HTTPS://www.childofpurposeoutreach.com
• Facebook: HTTPS://www.facebook.com/Arial.Harper.7