We were lucky to catch up with Tamara Carruthers recently and have shared our conversation below.
Tamara , we are so deeply grateful to you for opening up about your journey with mental health in the hops that it can help someone who might be going through something similar. Can you talk to us about your mental health journey and how you overcame or persisted despite any issues? For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.
I have a family history of mental health issues ranging from anxiety and depression to schizophrenia and suicide. So, at an early age I knew what mental health issues looked like and how they could impact my life. So, when I started experiencing bouts of depression around 17-18 years old I knew exactly what was happening, but I didn’t know how to care for myself. Even though we all as a family knew that mental disorders were alive and well, we never really ever talked about it. There I was struggling pretty much on my own but not willing to let it destroy my life, so I started doing research on my own. Eventually I let my doctor know how I was feeling and initially opted out of taking medication, instead I chose to go to therapy. Which at the time was a great choice for me. As time went on and life started “life’in” I decided that medication and therapy would be the best option for me. I also made sure the people that I was closest to understood what I was dealing with and made them aware of triggers and warning signs. To my surprise, me being vulnerable and sharing this information allowed others to share some of their struggles and seek help. I won’t say that I have overcome it, but I will say I am not ashamed and have found ways to help others, and that helps me stay on track and live life on my terms.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
What I am most excited about this year is my financial service business. In 2022 I became a licensed financial coach, and it has been very rewarding. What I love most about what I do as a financial coach is educating my friends, family and community about how they can secure their family’s financial legacy! I also provide education to the youth in my community ranging from financial literacy, self-care, emotional intelligence, mental health awareness, bullying and many other important topics that I believe will help them become well rounded individuals. I am days away from having my nonprofit completed and also completing a curriculum that I plan to share with inner-city schools in Memphis and Nashville TN. My hope is that these programs will provide a head start and self-assurance to students while also extending this educational opportunity to their parents and guardians.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
I will say the top three skills/qualities that have been most impactful in my journey are self-awareness, understanding emotional intelligence, and the willingness to share my journey. In order for me to get to the space that I current occupy it took a great deal of self-reflection and understanding of self. I can credit therapy and overall just wanting to be a better person for myself and my family. I mentioned previously that I battle with mental health disorders (anxiety, depression, and PTSD). I know what it looks like to not have these things acknowledged and taken seriously and I refused to let that be my life. But knowing my triggers, knowing how I responded or didn’t respond to those triggers and taking full responsibility for either was important to me. So just getting to know myself helped me be a better person and be more empathetic to others going through the same or similar things. Which in turn made me want to know and learn about emotional intelligence. Which is simply to me understanding my emotions and understanding how my response to my emotions influence other people. Learning this skill made me understand people better. It also helped me to not take things personal and just know that everyone has something going on and a negative response could have absolutely nothing OR everything to do with me! So, I like to do a self-check to see how I can make the situation better. And sometimes I just can’t, and I accept that. It would be remiss of me not to share information that could better a person or situation so I share when I can and stop when it’s unwarranted! Sharing my journey has been rewarding and empowering so I take advantage of doing so when I can.
What was the most impactful thing your parents did for you?
My mom has been a rockstar my entire life. She really molded me into the confident woman I am today. My mom let me be me! And I will forever give her, her flowers! My sister equally helped raise me in the household with my mother. It wasn’t until she and I recently had a conversation about just how spoiled (hahaha) she really had me as a child that I really understood her never ending love for me. I love her so much for that!! She is the G.O.A.T when it comes to being a big sister!! But I want to credit my father for being an absentee father. I know that sounds mean but honestly it was necessary. My father told me a few years back that the best thing he could have done for me was to leave my mother to raise me alone! He was an addict with anger issues and knew that he could not provide me with the life I deserved so, he chose to stay away! That was hard to hear but now I fully understand and appreciate him doing so! I turned out great! And now we have a relationship that is built on the right now and not the past! THANK GOD FOR GROWTH!!
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.tamara-carruthers.com/about
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/messy_canvas_tc/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tamara.smith.3557440
- Other: [email protected] https://vivideyeeventsandmore.com/
Image Credits
Tamara Carruthers (The Messy Canvas)
