We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Ivy Darnell a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Ivy, so happy you were able to devote some time to sharing your thoughts and wisdom with our community. So, we’ve always admired how you have seemingly never let nay-sayers or haters keep you down. Can you talk to us about how to persist despite the negative energy that so often is thrown at folks trying to do something special with their lives?
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in life: The way people treat you, has more to do with them as a person, than it does with you. People tend to reflect how they feel onto others. If someone wouldn’t feel as confident as you look in a specific outfit, they may tell you that it just doesn’t suit you. Another example could be if you’re trying for a new promotion, but your friend could never see themselves putting in that much work, so they may tell you that you shouldn’t aim so high. So much of what people say are just reflections. So that’s why I’ve stopped taking things so personal, and I do what makes my heart happy. After all, I’m living my life for me, no one else!
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
My name is Ivy! I’m a 28 year old who is a mom first, and many other things as well. I’ve fought through years of depression, anxiety, adhd and c-ptsd. I’ve been a nurse aide, nanny, early education teacher, and behavioral therapist.
For as long as I can remember I’ve wanted to help people. I left my job as a behavioral therapist to be a stay at home mom. And as absolutely beautiful as motherhood is, I found myself really struggling with postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety. Most days I didn’t want to leave the house. I worried about anything and everything. The intrusive thoughts nearly took over. I reached what was my breaking point and I reached out to a therapist.
I was really hesitant to reach out to a therapist because in the past I didn’t have a good experience. I was invalidated, misdiagnosed, and mistreated. But I felt like I was desperate and just needed someone to talk to and hopefully understand me.
Over a year of therapy later, I felt like a brand new woman. I no longer suffered from all the intrusive thoughts. I was able to understand my emotions. I processed my traumas. I learned my triggers. I felt like a real life butterfly. I truly went through a complete transformation.
Ever since I could remember, people have chose to come to me for help. When someone needed advice or just a listening ear, I was there. My therapist recommended coaching as a business for me. At first I said “oh no, I could never be a coach.” Then I noticed how people seek my insights and how much they say they appreciate it and how helpful it is.
So I decided to create “Gentle Growth With Ivy” which is my Self Love & Mindset coaching business. I have a podcast where I interview other wonderful people who have a passion for helping others as well. I share inspirational/educational posts and I offer 1:1 coaching sessions!
I’m new to coaching, but I’m not new to being a good friend to others. I’ve helped so many people realize their true potential and stand up for themselves. I’ve helped so many heal from loss in many forms. And I take a lot of pride in my ability to listen without judgment. I’ve always been a safe person and I strive to stay that way. It’s my passion to show that in my work.
The Gentle Growth With Ivy podcast and social media posts have taken a small break but I am very much so still there and will be coming back full force with the podcast and posts! So keep an eye out for that!
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
1. Being less judgmental. This is huge as a coach, and in general life. Stop judging others so much and stop assuming they’re doing the same to you. Unless you have been in the exact same situation, and every situation leading up to that situation, you can never truly say how you would react as that person. You have no idea what other people have been, or are going through. And that same principle applies to you as well.
2. Be considerate. Being considerate goes a really long way. So many people are so caught up in their own thoughts and feelings that we forget to take into consideration of others. When you think about how other people might feel, it makes it easier to process situations, or avoid hurt feelings in the future.
3. Communication is everything. Communicate how you feel. If you have questions, ask them. If you don’t like something, speak up. If you love something, express it. Having issues? Talk about it. Feeling unheard? Change tactics. Clear and open communication is vital for every relationship. Clients, family, friends, colleagues, or even team mates. Communication is always key.
How would you describe your ideal client?
My ideal client would be someone who wants to feel more confident. Not only in appearance, but the choices they make. Someone who needs help prioritizing their needs and wants. A person who wants to start a holistic self care routine. A routine that caters to your emotional, mental, spiritual, physical, occupational, and financial needs.
My ideal client may be recovering from abuse or mental illness. Someone who needs to be reminded of their self worth and taught how to love themselves again. Someone who wants some extra guidance to see light in their lives again.
My ideal client could be someone who just needs a listening ear. Someone who wants to just let everything out and still be accepted for who they are as a person, and to be held in a nonjudgmental space.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://pensight.com/x/gentlegrowthwithivy
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gentlegrowthwithivy?igsh=MWY3dm4zZ2E5NHRnYg%3D%3D&utm_source=qr
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/DRVVP7uqBzFdNwRC/?mibextid=LQQJ4d
- Other: Spotify Podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/gentlegrowthwithivy
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.