Meet Minessa Konecky

 

We were lucky to catch up with Minessa Konecky recently and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Minessa, thanks for sharing your insights with our community today. Part of your success, no doubt, is due to your work ethic and so we’d love if you could open up about where you got your work ethic from?

I was raised by people who valued hard work, long hours, and a commitment to their jobs, workaholics really. As a result I spent much of my younger years working long hours and allowing burnout to take a huge toll on my psyche and my body. After a few rounds in the hospital for high blood pressure and a few other chronic issues, I realized I needed to make a change, and I began developing a new work ethic – one that was based on sustainability and well being. I had to get really clear on my why – what am I on this earth for, and what do I want to spend my days doing, how do I want to contribute to the world with my own special gifts. I realized I was saying yes to EVERYTHING because I had a need to prove myself, that I had value in my production and in the help I could give others. As a result I had very little time for work that mattered to me – what I call my mission work – helping to dismantle systems of injustice and inequity in Research Administration, for chronically ill employees, Black women, disabled employees, and others who are marginalized and often suffer silently in the workplace. Toi Smith, a brilliant coach helped me to recognize that what I had been taught was the appropriate work ethic was rooted deeply in capitalist ideals, and so I began working on decolonizing my relationship with work, productivity, and time. Ultimately I was able to fashion a life where I have the freedom of time to devote to the causes I care about, I have the freedom of income to further redistribution efforts, and I have a strong work ethic rooted in what I believe is important. I no longer sacrifice my own health for work, instead I try to create a harmony, some days is easier than others.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

I believe we all deserve to live a life of joy and fulfillment, and that work is often an impediment to actualizing that truth. We work long hours, have rarely any energy to make a quick dinner and then fall into bed at night, rollout to work another long day where so many people feel like they aren’t doing enough, that they’re on the brink of being fired, or are imposters who will be found out any minute. This is a reality for so many people, and it’s the result of so many systems that are working in concert to apply pressure to an already burned out workforce. When I hit my lowest point in 2018, I was on the couch crying, I hadn’t left it in days, just working and sleeping on it, and I asked myself – What am I doing this for? I realized at some point I had just become a machine, existing to work. I was so terrified of not having enough money, my scarcity mindset locked me in place. At the time I had no coaches, but I had a therapist I had been seeing for years. And yet, here I was. I realized that there must be something else beyond therapy, some other tool I needed to help me operationalize these ideas I was working on. I hunted like a fiend for coaches who could help me, and though it was hard to find the right ones at first, eventually putting the words into the universe called incredible coaches like Maria Milagros and AJ Singh to me. At the same time, as a leader in Research Administration, I started to see that my colleagues were struggling with the same issues. A drive to overwork, constantly feeling behind, exhausted, and now their bodies were also starting to show the signs of prolonged stress. What if I could create a space where I could share the stories of ALL the incredible coaches I’ve met, each one talking about one aspect of the ideas, beliefs, and frameworks that I had to dismantle, so that people could listen, and let go of the stories we were told about who we’re supposed to be and how we’re supposed to show up, and instead write their own blueprint – starting from whichever point in their journey makes sense to them. It has been a glorious experience, because as I released this creation in to the world, I also began to express myself more authentically – I cut my hair short and dyed it blue, I painted my room purple, and my branding is completely opposite to what you would expect from someone working in Academia with the government. I want people to smile when they see my sprarkly art, when they see me walking into a room with gemstones all over my face and giant pink earrings, I want them to wonder if a rainbow threw up on me. The fact that I’m really good at what I do bought me some cred, so I took it further. I started creating training videos for new research administrators and did what no one else was, I put EVERYTHING out there for free. I gatekeep no educational content. I help people find great paying jobs in research administration, I advocate tirelessly for increased salaries and equity. I am here on this earth to do the unexpected things, and though it was absolutely terrifying at first, and is still pretty scary, it’s the most fun I’ve ever had.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that I will keep learning the same lessons over and over again, that just because I’ve done the work to heal, doesn’t mean I won’t hurt. Doesn’t mean I won’t make the same mistakes, but that it gets easier each time I run into challenges to recognize what’s happening, get into my toolbox and pull out whatever I need in that moment to help get me through it. But in those first moments of pain that come from either having made a mistake, having been wronged, or running into a challenge you feel you can’t overcome can be overwhelming. Which brings me to my second powerful lesson, which is that how I feel in this moment isn’t how I will always feel. I have anxiety, depression, PTSD, that has been with me my whole life. These things aren’t cured, but I learn how to manage them so I can live a joyful life, I learn how to navigate the more difficult times, and ride the waves during the great times. It’s a gift to truly believe that the pendulum swings both ways, times are good, times are bad – that’s part of life. How I want to navigate those swings, and what perspectives I want to bring with me define my experience of it. The advice I have for folks would be the same advice I have for me, and my 3rd lesson, which is that you don’t have to do it alone. We’re raised in a culture of do it yourself, always be happy, don’t talk about your problems so we tend to hide in our silos when we are suffering, but it is in our shared experiences that deep community and relationships are built. Just as I am there for others, they want to be there for me, and for you, learning to tell myself a different story about asking for help was very powerful, because it has allowed me to create relationships with people across the world who support me, teach me, hug me, and I get to do the same for them.

Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?

My biggest obstacle is my own sense of self worth. Imposter syndrome is heavy with me, and I have a default position of feeling like what I do isn’t enough, it’s never enough, I am never enough. Over the years I’ve worked on a variety of different areas of my personal development, but this one has been a consistent thorn that I can’t seem to shake. I recognize that it comes from what I call the 4 horsemen of my conditioning – capitalism, colonialism, racism, and the patriarchy in broad strokes – but that doesn’t change that I still FEEL it. However, in this 47th year of my life I feel more equipped to tackle it head on, so I hired AJ Singh, an incredible coach who is helping me with decolonizing deep parts of myself as a mixed race desi, my therapist Sienna Hunter-Cuyjet is working with me on feeling worthy enough to prioritize my own self care and health, my sister and my wife, and my community catch me when I use language that disparages me or diminishes my worth, and I myself am working on believing in myself more, using more self-affirming language. I don’t know how long it will really take me to work through this, sometimes I feel like it’s a lifelong goal, maybe why I came to earth-school in the first place – but I believe I am worth the effort, so I keep going. I think for me that’s the most important thing for anyone to know – is that you are so worth it, you are always worth the time and the effort.

Contact Info:

Image Credits

Stefanie Lynn
Allie Konecky

Suggest a Story: BoldJourney is built on recommendations from the community; it’s how we uncover hidden gems,
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
Leadership Development
Empathy Unlocked: Understanding how to Develop Emotional Intelligence

“Empathy is the starting point for creating a community and taking action. It’s the impetus

Productivity
Where do you get your work ethic from?

We’ve all heard the phrase “work hard, play hard,” but where does our work ethic

Productivity
Boosting Productivity Through Self-Care

When you have a never-ending to-do list it can feel irresponsible to engage in self-care,