Meet Julie Labanz

We recently connected with Julie Labanz and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Julie, really happy you were able to join us today and we’re looking forward to sharing your story and insights with our readers. Let’s start with the heart of it all – purpose. How did you find your purpose?

I was one of the lucky people in life who grew up always having a sense of what they wanted to do = at least because everyone told me I would be good at it. Understanding human behavior and what makes people tick = helping people to feel understood and connected has always been a passion of mine. Additionally, growing up with two juxtaposing views of the world (being raised by non-religious parents yet being religious myself in my early days) fired a passion in me to help people experience connection regardless of their beliefs.

During my early career, I noticed a recurring theme: many clients struggled with sexual and relationship issues but felt ashamed or hesitant to seek help. Some of this stemmed from religious trauma or long-standing sex negative messaging from upbringing. This realization sparked a desire to create a space where people could openly discuss these concerns without judgment. I pursued further education and training, eventually becoming a Certified Sex Therapist. This specialization allowed me to address a wide range of issues, from sexual trauma and desire discrepancy to kinks and consensual non-monogamy.

Founding my private group therapy practice, Be Known, was a significant milestone in my journey. Here, I could apply a blend of the Gottman method and Emotionally Focused Therapy, providing clients with practical tools and emotional insights to improve their relationships. The Institute for Sex Positive Therapy followed, enabling me to train other practitioners in sex-positive approaches, amplifying the impact of this crucial work.

One of the most fulfilling aspects of my journey has been witnessing the transformation in my clients. Helping individuals and couples overcome sexual pain, enhance pleasure, and rekindle desire has reinforced my belief in the importance of this work. I also found purpose in addressing the broader societal issues related to sexuality, such as dismantling purity culture and promoting sexual education that goes beyond the basics.

Creating content, such as educational videos and e-books, has allowed me to reach a wider audience and provide resources for those who may not be ready for therapy. The feedback from people who have benefited from these materials has been incredibly rewarding and motivates me to continue this path.

My purpose is deeply intertwined with my commitment to acceptance and non-judgment. By offering a safe and affirming space, I strive to help my clients embrace their authentic selves and build fulfilling relationships. This journey has not only enriched my professional life but also my personal growth, teaching me the value of empathy, resilience, and continuous learning.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

At Be Known, we specialize in a wide range of issues, including affairs, BDSM, communication difficulties, consensual non-monogamy, desire discrepancy, erectile issues, fetishes, gender identity, kink, low libido, LGBTQIA+ relationships, menopause, painful sex, performance anxiety, pleasure enhancement, pornography issues, premature ejaculation, problematic sexual behavior, purity culture, rekindling desire, sexual anxiety, sexual trauma, sexual identity/orientation, trans-affirming care, vaginismus, and women’s pelvic pain and sexual health.

Our practice integrates techniques from the Gottman method and Emotionally Focused Therapy, providing clients with practical tools and emotional insights to improve their relationships. Additionally, I supervise clinicians who want to gain expertise in addressing sexual and relationship concerns, fostering a new generation of sex-positive therapists.

What’s Exciting and Special:

One of the most exciting aspects of my work is witnessing the transformation in my clients. Helping them overcome sexual pain, enhance pleasure, and rekindle desire is incredibly rewarding. Each client’s journey is unique, and being part of their growth and healing process is a privilege.

Another special aspect of my practice is The Institute for Sex Positive Therapy, a continuing education training program. Here, my colleague Matt and I offer courses that help practitioners develop the skills needed to talk to clients about sexual topics in a sex-positive way. This initiative not only enhances the quality of care but also spreads the message of acceptance and non-judgment.

New and Upcoming:

We have several exciting developments at Be Known. I am currently working on a twenty-minute educational video on libido differences in relationships. This video will be available for purchase on our website and aims to provide valuable insights to individuals and couples who may not feel ready for therapy.

Additionally, I am developing an e-book titled “Crushes, Questions & All the Cringes: A Middle School Survival Guide.” This guide will offer sex-positive, age-appropriate education beyond just STIs or puberty changes, addressing the broader aspects of growing up.

In the realm of events, we are planning a weekend retreat focused on “Rekindling Desire.” This retreat will include workshops, yoga, sensory exploration, and a hike, providing couples with opportunities to reconnect and improve their communication skills in a serene, private setting.

Lastly, we’ve recently launched a PDF titled “Connect Deeper: 60 Intimacy Questions,” available for purchase on our website. This resource is designed to help couples deepen their connection through meaningful conversations.

We’re so excited to continue to find ways to bring sex positivity and connection to as many people as possible!

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

Looking back on my journey as a therapist and business owner, three qualities and areas of knowledge have been particularly impactful: sex positivity, open-mindedness, and patience. These attributes have shaped my practice and guided me through the challenges and triumphs of building a successful career.

1. Sex Positivity:

Sex positivity has been a cornerstone of my work. Embracing this mindset means approaching sexual topics with acceptance and without judgment. It involves recognizing and celebrating the diversity of sexual experiences and identities. This perspective has allowed me to create a safe and inclusive space for my clients, where they feel comfortable discussing their most intimate concerns.

Advice:
For those early in their journey, developing a sex-positive attitude is crucial. Educate yourself on the wide spectrum of sexual behaviors and identities. Engage in continuous learning through courses, workshops, sex positive social media, and literature on sex-positive therapy. Most importantly, practice empathy and acceptance in every interaction, ensuring your clients feel valued and understood.

2. Open-Mindedness:

Being open-minded has been essential in my practice. Each client brings unique experiences and challenges, requiring a flexible and adaptive approach. Open-mindedness involves being receptive to new ideas, perspectives, and therapeutic techniques, allowing for growth and innovation in your practice.

Advice:
To cultivate open-mindedness, immerse yourself in diverse learning opportunities. Attend conferences, join professional networks, and seek out mentorship from experienced therapists. Stay curious and willing to explore new methodologies and viewpoints. Embrace the idea that there is always something new to learn and integrate into your practice. I’ve interacted with people who thought they already knew everything and it was clear how limiting that was not only for them, but for their clients as well. It’s important to be open and curious to help meet people where they are at.

3. Patience:

Patience has been vital in both my professional development and business growth. Building a practice and feeling confident in your skills takes time. There will be setbacks and periods of uncertainty, but maintaining patience allows for steady progress and resilience.

Advice:
For those starting out, understand that success doesn’t happen overnight. Set realistic goals and make sure you celebrate small milestones along the way. Focus on building strong relationships with your clients and your colleagues – the latter will be your rock and support system! Also, making sure that you’re making space to stop thinking about work and engage in self-care will help in times when you want to panic or worry it’s all going under. Patience takes a lot of active work but it’ll go a long way with helping you feel confident in your process!

How can folks who want to work with you connect?

I always love to collaborate with other therapists and medical professionals (pelvic floor PTs, urogynecologists, OBGYNs, gynecologists, general PCPs, psychiatrists, and more!). Sex touches on so many aspects of one’s mental and physical health and having sex positive partners in the medical field is HUGE for ensuring clients get the best possible care. Any time I get an opportunity to collaborate with another provider and be a referral source for each other, I’m ecstatic. I also love being able to collaborate with other professionals on workshops for clients or other professionals in the field – helping people to see how sex therapy and other medical practices intersect can be a huge benefit to others. Feel free to email me to connect!

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.beknowntherapy.com
• Instagram: @beknowntherapy
• Facebook: https://Facebook.com/beknowntherapy
• Other: https://sexpositivetherapy.org

Image Credits

Julie Doran Photography