Meet Susan Sandler

Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Susan Sandler. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Susan, so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.

“What could you accomplish if you didn’t let fear stand in your way? What would you learn? What would you try? What would you allow yourself to experience? Who might you become?”

This is how I open my theatrical keynote/one-woman show called, ‘WINGS’: How to Find Your Voice on the Other Side of Fear. ‘WINGS’ is about a young girl (me) raised in a family characterized by emotional chaos and financial uncertainty. She gives up her voice in exchange for her father’s adoration, which makes her feel safe. Later, she is saved by her mother’s inspiring acts of courage and embarks on her own journey to find her real voice, finally becoming the person she was meant to be.

I was in my sixties when I performed ‘WINGS’ for the first time. I’d been a professional singer as a kid… even performing regularly on television, but I hadn’t performed on a significant stage for over forty years. I’d left the entertainment business at eighteen because I didn’t love singing enough to deal with a performer’s lifestyle and my frequent bouts of anxiety.

My journey back to the stage was unconventional to say the least. It was… well… accidental. And it was the antidote to finally overcoming my fear that I was not enough.

It happened like this.

When I turned sixty, I attended a one-day seminar for public speakers. I watched in a state of wonder as the teacher, Michael Port, transformed three ordinary people into extraordinary speakers. So, when Michael announced he was accepting twenty people into a new (and very expensive) program to train public speakers, I jumped at the chance. I didn’t want to be a public speaker. I wanted to become transformed, and I believed he could transform me.

The first day of the program when I got up in front of the other students to give a speech I wrote about my mother’s personal transformation (a story I’d told dozens of times), I froze. I was so overcome by anxiety that I couldn’t remember my lines. But, I persevered, and with guidance, I eventually delivered that speech like a pro. On the last day of the program, Michael said, “If you want to, you could command a big audience.”

Two years later I gave this same speech at TEDxWilmington Women and received a standing ovation. It was called, “Punch Fear in the Face & Claim Your Life”. For the first time in my life, I experienced what it was like to become one with an audience. All my old baggage (the fears, the negative self-talk, physical discomforts I’d been struggling with and a growing preoccupation with my thinning hair) took a back seat to giving the audience everything I had in that moment. I felt completely safe, free, connected. I was finally home.

Two years after my TEDx talk, I debuted my one-woman show.

My journey back to the stage was born from a hunger to learn how to manage my fears and old conditioning so I could be more. It’s been both painful and wondrous.

I’ve learned that self-confidence comes from impressing yourself.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

I used to believe that after a certain age, you are past your prime and should stop dreaming, that your best years are behind you and that the only thing new on the horizon is death. And, yet, in my sixties, I “reinvented” myself. I launched a theatrical public speaking career. I re-established my executive coaching practice to help a group of managers transform into respected leaders. I conquered significant physical challenges and I’m in the best shape of my life. I unofficially adopted two young women who needed a loving mother and walked one of them down the aisle. My “main squeeze” of twenty-two years and I fall more and more in love each day. And now, I’m writing my first book. It’s entitled “Midlife Magic”. “Midlife Magic” is for women fifty plus who are seeking more meaning, fulfillment and purpose. The premise is that midlife is the perfect time to create a life you love as it’s that unique time of life when experience, wisdom and freedom converge.

At seventy-one years old, I am living my best life.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

1. Get comfortable being uncomfortable. Experiment, take chances, make things happen. Don’t sit back and wait for opportunities to come your way and don’t allow fear to drive your life.

In most of the jobs I’ve had I’ve been a “changemaker’. I can’t help it. I would be hired for a specific role, but then I would discover what was really needed and find a clever way to do that. For example, in my first professional job I was hired to investigate child abuse reports for the City of Philadelphia. I discovered that most of the parents were isolated and didn’t have parenting skills. So, I convinced my boss to let me pilot a few parent support groups. This evolved into the Department’s first child abuse prevention program. The program continued to flourish for thirty years after I’d left that job.

2. My advice is to cultivate curiosity and become someone that others want to help. We need partners in our growth. I’ve had many mentors throughout my life who helped me navigate unfamiliar territory, gave me opportunities to try new things and set me straight when I needed it. They enjoyed mentoring me because I was coachable. I was hungry to learn, listened, asked good questions and let them know specifically how I applied their guidance.

Who has been most helpful in helping you overcome challenges or build and develop the essential skills, qualities or knowledge you needed to be successful?

Michael and Amy Port from Heroic Public Speaking taught me the craft of public speaking and helped me discover and cultivate my theatrical talents. AJ Harper helped me write ‘WINGS’.

Dr. John Thinnes was my mentor in the leadership and organizational development profession. He mentored me for 25 years and gave me the opportunity to teach with him in St Joseph’s University’s Graduate Program in Organizational Development.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.susanlsandler.com

Image Credits

Laura Pedrick
Lorenz A. Wheatley