Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Megan Deboer. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Hi Megan, really happy you were able to join us today and we’re looking forward to sharing your story and insights with our readers. Let’s start with the heart of it all – purpose. How did you find your purpose?
This question haunted me well into my mid-thirties. I wanted to find work that felt purposeful, work beyond raising my two daughters. I was an independent bookkeeper at the time, doing the finances for over 20 small businesses where I had front row seats to people’s relationship with money.
But it wasn’t until a friend of mine, who had recently gone through a divorce, asked if I could help her get organized with her money that my purpose started to come into view.
I sat with her for several hours helping to set up online bill pay, total up her bills so she knew how much money she needed each week to cover her expenses.
It felt simple for me to offer that support to her, but when I left her she kept telling me how life changing it was. I realized in that moment how powerful it is to help someone find confidence, clarity, and a sense of empowerment with their money.
That night, still thinking about my friend, I searched for books about emotions and money. I stumbled upon a book written by my soon to be mentor and ordered it. When it arrived in the mail I devoured it. It articulated what I had witnessed first hand: that our relationship with money is complex and extremely emotional.
I will never forget the feeling of my purpose finally coming into view, even if it was hazy at first and is always evolving. Helping support people in healing their relationship with money is clearly my purpose.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I founded Tended Wealth over a decade ago with the intention of bringing a different ethos to the conversation about money. Tending to our wealth isn’t just about money, it is about tending to our health, our relationships, and ourselves.
I want to expand our understanding of money and explore it through a more feminine lens. I weave in metaphors from the natural world in all of my teachings.
Money holds a lot of shame and “should” in our unconscious minds. Creating pathways to understand and engage with money differently is one way to help people access a new, more positive relationship with it.
It’s incredibly inspiring to see what my clients and course participants create from this empowered relationship. I have celebrated with clients (single clients!) who have saved up and bought their first home. I have celebrated with clients who used to be in a never ending debt cycle to having a robust savings account. I have celebrated with clients who allowed themselves to go on the trip of a lifetime after never feeling worthy of spending money on themselves. I have celebrated with business owner clients who have doubled their revenue while working a quarter less than they were before.
This work always weaves together the practical nuts and bolts of financial management with our emotional relationship to money. That’s the secret, and it is thrilling to see these two aspects click together and start moving someone forward towards their goals.
My newest (free) offering is a class on Pattern Interruption to help you make new choices with your money. I am thrilled to share this framework to help people understand, and have compassion for, why they make the choices they do. It is an excellent introduction to my body of work. Too often we are caught in a frustrating cycle and need a map to help us skillfully navigate our way out. We all need it (and not just for money!).
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
To me, the most important quality is compassion. Compassion gives space for our humanity and reassures another of their worthiness of belonging. While having compassion for others has come very naturally to me, extending self-compassion to myself required time to cultivate. I think cultivating self-compassion when you are self-employed is essential work and it requires practice. Having someone to hold compassionate space for you is one of the best ways to develop it for yourself.
Discernment is a required skill, especially today when there are infinite ways our time, money, energy, and attention can dissipate. To me, discernment means getting quiet and asking myself what my truth is and not allow someone else’s agenda to override what is best for me.
Understanding how to truly take care of our money, to tend to it, is a critical skill. Without this skill our choices will be, or feel, limited. We will unintentionally hold ourselves back from the life we are ready to live.
As we end our chat, is there a book you can leave people with that’s been meaningful to you and your development?
Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer is one that I have already reread twice.
As a child I played in the fields and forests around my house, the natural world was as much my home as my actual home. The most magical forest behind our home was clearcut when I was 7 years old. I remember feeling, but not being able to articulate, the deepest grief. I couldn’t understand why such a magical place had been destroyed.
After this I only saw humans as being destructive to nature, and separate from it, not a part of it.
Kimmerer reminds us that we are in an interdependent relationship with nature, that nature requires our involvement, that reciprocity is the key to life. It is a profoundly healing book.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.tendedwealth.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tendedwealth/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/public-profile/settings?trk=d_flagship3_profile_self_view_public_profile
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