Meet Daixuan Ai

 

We were lucky to catch up with Daixuan Ai recently and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Daixuan, so excited to have you with us today, particularly to get your insight on a topic that comes up constantly in the community – overcoming creativity blocks. Any thoughts you can share with us?

Recently a mentor of mine told me that the “creative block” is a made-up concept. At first I was skeptical about what they said. I’ve always viewed creative blocks as an inevitable part of art making. The story often goes like this: I start a project (I am a composer and writing music is my creative practice.) At first it is new and exciting, and I genuinely look forward to getting up every morning to work on it, put new ideas down, try out different solutions. Once the novelty wears off a bit, the reality of having to finish what I started kicks in. And the more I sit with what I have created, the more it seems daunting to keep creating new materials based on the previous ones. It is also during this stage of uncertainty, stress, and a little bit of boredom, that my mind becomes more vulnerable and less defensive against negative thoughts. Inner voices like these arise: “you’ve gotten so far out of pure luck, you don’t actually have the techniques to finish this.” “You’re going to write something horrendous next and that is going to ruin what you have up to this point.” “Does what you write even make any sense? No one is going to think that this is anything good.” Once the negativity and doubts outweighs the joy of creating, a creative block is formed. Since nothing I write during this stage feels like it is up to an invisible and unattainable standard I set myself up to, it becomes unmotivating and painful to write. I am essentially setting myself up for failure.

That is what writer’s blocks often feel like to me. It is, more than anything, a mental block that I often dig myself into. Of course sometimes outside voices can push us into that negative headspace: harsh criticism, unuseful opinions, and premature or unconstructive feedback. But regardless of the cause, eventually I have to get myself out of it to move forward.

The only way to end the creative block and keep writing, is to just keep writing. There are things I do to make myself feel more motivated, like talking to a nurturing and encouraging friend/mentor, composing at my favorite cafe with a nice drink in hand, treating myself to a nice meal after doing some work, or taking a walk to clear my mind before sitting down at my desk. But the key here is that I need to get back to creating in order to solve the creative block, whatever it takes. The music is not going to write itself, I have to write it.

That is when the mindset of “creative block is a made-up concept” seems useful to adapt. Imagine you’re in a creative block, and you find it hard to continue the work at hand and you have little motivation to finish it. What would you do today if creative block isn’t a real thing? I would get a cup of coffee in the morning and sit down to write, instead of torturing myself with the thoughts of how bad of an artist I am, or worrying about whether what I write next is going to ruin my career and reputation. And that is exactly what my mentor offered to me as their advice: “creative block is a made-up concept. Just show up everyday, do the work, no matter how you feel. Be religiously disciplined with your creative practice, and everything else will work itself out.”

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

I am a composer, performer, and music educator. What I feel is most exciting about my career is that there is no clear pathway to success and I get to decide what I want to focus my energy and creativity on. Even the definition of success for us artists is ununified since we all gain a sense of fulfillment and purpose through different means. What is special about the field is that my peers and I are constantly encouraged to be exactly who we are, and to celebrate our differences instead of trying to fit into a certain status quo. For me, that means incorporating inspirations from my personal experiences and my Chinese heritage, to tell emotionally compelling stories through my music in order to connect with my listeners. Currently, I am writing a harp solo piece inspired by the techniques and repertoires for Traditional Chinese zither “Guzheng”, and an orchestra piece for Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra based on a story written by a 7-year-old cancer survivor.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

The First quality that got me through a lot of ups and downs is discipline. I like to think of my career as a marathon, rather than a sprint. And the most important ingredient to success (in my opinion) is consistency. Half of the game is simply showing up and being your best self.

The second thing I would encourage people to look for is joy. It is important to be disciplined and keep pushing when things get hard, but none of that would be worth it if you don’t genuinely love and care about what you do. When we get into a daily routine of practicing our crafts and showing up the same way day after day, it’s easy to forget why we are doing it and to feel a sense of novelty. It’s important to remind ourselves to play in the work we do, and to find the sparks, the child-like curiosity and joy every so often so we don’t become jaded.

The last thing we should intentionally practice is our ability to learn new skills. It is important to know how to teach ourselves. Back in school, it is easy to enroll in a semester of classes and have the entire learning process planned out by an experienced teacher. I think a lot of us find it hard to pick up a new skill set once we’re out of school. But learning is a life-long process, and it is the best way to keep our mind sharp.

One of our goals is to help like-minded folks with similar goals connect and so before we go we want to ask if you are looking to partner or collab with others – and if so, what would make the ideal collaborator or partner?

Absolutely! I am a multidisciplinary collaborator, and in the past I have worked with poets, visual artists, film makers, photographers, writers, dancers, meditation teachers, musicologists and social activists. I am constantly looking for people from all fields with fresh and innovative ideas to collaborate with. If you have an idea of connecting what you do with music/sound, please reach out, I would love to hear your thoughts!

Contact Info:

Image Credits

Martin Boling
Kevin Ng

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