Meet Mary How

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Mary How a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Mary, first a big thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and insights with us today. I’m sure many of our readers will benefit from your wisdom, and one of the areas where we think your insight might be most helpful is related to imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is holding so many people back from reaching their true and highest potential and so we’d love to hear about your journey and how you overcame imposter syndrome.

I’ve worked as a board-certified art therapist in mental health for the last 25 years. When I was starting out, I had three amazing mentors. They each individually and collectively taught and guided me in a way that protected me from my own professional limitations. I was very fortunate to work with and learn from them in the beginning. It wasn’t until the last several years or so, after leaving outdated, crumbling systems and began working independently, that I have found myself feeling like a bit of an imposter.

The truth is, we are all imposters, just trying to figure life out. Life is art and living is largely about recognizing that we are the creators of our own experiences. The obstacles I have faced over these recent years have helped me to look at the shadow, or hidden parts of myself that I wasn’t able or willing to do when I was younger. Being vulnerable and willing to look at these shadow parts of self can be painful, but it is key to facing our seemingly limitations, grow in authenticity and love ourselves in spite of the challenges we face in our psyches.

My primary practice for embracing these hidden aspects is through daily mandala drawings. I create small circle drawings as a form of meditation. My journal pages include the drawings along with notes to myself. These messages include nightly and waking dreams, signs, synchronicities and other aspects my soul brings to me via the unconscious. This is a practice I started 15 years ago, and it has helped me to become more aware and in-tune to the guidance available to us all.

Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?

Create MORE with Mary How offers products and services combining a unique mix of cognitive restructuring, mindfulness, and art to help people create MORE peace and love and joy in their lives. My Create MORE programs and workbooks focus on skills I’ve developed over a 25-year career as a board-certified art therapist in mental health. My background includes work in a well-known therapeutic model called Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). The programs and products I’ve created combine practical DBT skills in mindfulness, emotional regulation, interpersonal effectiveness and distress tolerance with art exercises to help people understand and integrate these valuable skills.

MORE is an acronym outlining the 4-step foundation for creating MORE peace and love and joy in your life:
1. Motivation to break the rules (safely and purposefully)
2. Own your ability to create the life you want
3. Radically accept life on life’s terms
4. Embrace the present

Services offered through my business include:
• Individual creativity and life coaching offered remotely and in-person
• Educational/Therapeutic Classes, Workshops and Groups for Businesses, Schools and Organizations

Products offered through my business included:
• Inspirational art products
• Books and journals:
-Create MORE: Four-step Foundational Workbook for Art as Inner-work
-Create MORE Emotional Intelligence Workbook: Art as Inner-work for Emotional Health
-Create MORE Mindfulness and Intuition Workbook: Art as Inner-work for Mindfulness and Intuition
-Mandalas & Mindfulness: Journal for Mindful Mandala Making
-Mystical Artist: Oracle Cards for Becoming and Intentional Creator

Whether it’s my work as an art therapist or as an artist what I hope to create most is the ability to empower others to create more peace and love and joy in their lives.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

Finding good mentors is one of the most impactful experiences in my journey. When I started out as a student in 1998, I worked directly under two women who were pioneers in my field. Betsy Brown and Lucy Lee Collins worked together, but offered different perspectives. Betsy was more traditional in her clinical art therapy approach using drawing and painting as her primary tools to help clients work toward their treatment goals. Lucy offered more of a crafts-based approach which was helpful in teaching the clients how to manage impulsive behaviors with goal setting and follow through. Learning from these two women who complimented each other well, gave me a solid foundation early in my career. If two amazing mentors weren’t enough, I was afforded the opportunity to learn from a third and equally wonderful art therapy mentor, Lyssa Harvey. Lyssa really taught me about leadership and helped me build confidence in setting professional goals. The field of art therapy is still relatively young and small, so to have these incredible mentors really helped get me off to a great start and am I grateful to have maintained these mentorships throughout my career.

Reading books about spirituality is another important aspect of my journey that has shifted my perceptions and helped me to view the world and life through love rather than fear. The top three books I would recommend are A Return to Love by Marrianne Williamson, A New Earth by Eckert Tolle and Spiritual Partnership by Gary Zukav. These and other books like these changed my perspective on life and love and helped me learn to trust my own inner-guidance. In our society, we are often taught to look outside of ourselves for guidance. While surrounding ourselves with loving and supporting people is valuable, ultimately the answers we seek are found within. When looking for external guidance, I recommend quieting your mind and listening to the silent whispers within.

Trusting life and our own selves is not always easy. Life can be really hard. I have faced a lot of rejection, but there is something inside of me that doesn’t give up. I frequently have to regroup and I take a lot of breaks, but I guess a willingness to keep starting over, to keep trusting and trying is the internal skill that has served me the most. A regular mindfulness and art practice is how I come back to the most authentic version of myself over and over again. Finding a daily practice is so valuable to finding the perseverance within us all. Even if it’s just a two-minute breathing exercise, a commitment to yourself and your personal growth will serve you in becoming more attuned to the good moments and surviving the difficult ones.

Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?

I have loved my career as an art therapist, but my passion now is my art. Breaking into the art world is one of the biggest challenges I am currently facing. Art-making is very personal. It’s an interesting anomaly to me because I believe fully in the power of self-expression through art-making, yet it is judged so quickly as either good or bad. Life doesn’t work this way, as there are so many realities between these opposing view-points. Art is neither good nor bad, it is a valuable way for us to healthily communicate our thoughts and feelings. This foundational belief about art keeps me grounded, and as much as I can, I practice non-judgment and non-attachment as I share my work with the world. Staying focused on the art-making and mindfulness practices that work for me is critical in overcoming judgment and expectations as they arise. Tuning out the noise from the world around me as much as possible helps too.

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