Meet Ellie Kayu Ng

We were lucky to catch up with Ellie Kayu Ng recently and have shared our conversation below.

Ellie Kayu, we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?

I used to have low self-esteem when I was in my third year of college, and I wasn’t conscious about it. My professor at the time gave us an assignment on dysmorphia one day, and we were instructed to elaborate on the theme through painting. I remember coming up with an idea casually, thinking it would be fun to print out six of the same images of myself, crumple them in different ways, and paint six crumpled self-portraits realistically. Painting them was an unexpectedly emotional experience. When I got to the third canvas, I realized how much I disliked myself unconsciously at the time by seeing the deepness of the folds I created and translating them onto those canvases. Repeating this process six times and seeing all canvases put together in chronological order had actually made me cry. The day I finished that body of work wasn’t only the day I recognized my low self-esteem but also the day I realized the power of self-portraits and a strength that I could pursue: oil painting. (The Dysmorphia series is still on my website)

Since that school year, I’ve been mainly painting self-portraits; I paint myself in outfits I wish to own and scenarios I’d love to be while wearing them. By consistently doing that, I not only lift and see confidence in my painted expressions but also in how I put down the paint; the person on the canvas and behind the canvas are slowly syncing together in a way, and more confident. I still have my insecurities now but looking back to where I’ve started, from the six dysmorphic self-portraits to the paintings I do now (it’s been six years), I see that it’s been a journey and can’t wait to see where my paintings would take me, and vice versa.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

I’m an artist/oil painter currently based in New York. 

I was born and raised in Hong Kong and had a different English name. It wasn’t until I moved to Canada for middle school that I decided to change my name to Ellie. I remember feeling excited to rename myself, to build a new identity at a place where no one knew me under this new name. That excitement has inspired me to experiment with identity with my current paintings, mostly self-portraits adorned in different borrowed outfits.

I see clothing as a language that speaks for people before they even say a word. However, I realize my wardrobe has a limited vocabulary due to social norms and financial situations. A way to be able to experiment with identities through clothing without these problems is by renting it, taking a picture of myself in it, and returning it. However, the quick snap of a camera, posing in front of a green screen, and being extra careful around the outfit before its return date doesn’t give me a satisfying experience of this new identity I want to experiment with. But adding an extra step has allowed me to devour the experience completely: painting myself in these borrowed outfits in desired scenarios after the return. There is something pleasurable about painting from a blank canvas; the layering paint process is like building a whole new identity from scratch, which reminds me of that excitement when I first moved to Canada, and it allows me to add personal touches through paint when I interpret the outfit on canvas. As painting is already a visual language, I see my work as a hybrid language with clothing as a language mixed in it. 

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

I think having a positive obsession, patience, and an open mind were the most impactful in my journey. A positive obsession because it makes me ten times happier and excited when I finish a painting in the way I want (without compromising) or when I have reached my goal. Patience because trusting time and consistency have brought me to places I wanted to be. Plus, I also tell myself stews tend to taste better when they’re cooked longer. And an open mind because there’s beauty and inspiration in almost everything, and going deeper to understand why I’m not too fond of certain things helps me discover new likable things. I would advise always thinking young and finding a way to stay excited. 🙂

Awesome, really appreciate you opening up with us today and before we close maybe you can share a book recommendation with us. Has there been a book that’s been impactful in your growth and development?

I was recommended a book the summer after graduation, and the book told me what I needed to hear as a lost fresh graduate. It’s Catching the Big Fish by David Lynch. ‘Keep your eye on the doughnut’. “The hole is so deep and so bad; the Doughnut is a beautiful thing.’ was the most memorable thing he wrote that I still remember after years.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.elliekayu.com
• Instagram: eille_