Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Tanisha Ray. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Hi Tanisha, really happy you were able to join us today and we’re looking forward to sharing your story and insights with our readers. Let’s start with the heart of it all – purpose. How did you find your purpose?
That’s a great question! I was moving in alignment with my purpose long before I identified what it was. I raised my children as a single parent, and we lived in poverty. Most of my decisions were based on necessity, and I had a hustler mentality. Whatever my children and family needed, we’d find a way. However, I also thought that my choices – though fueled by intuition and necessity – were pretty random. I felt like I was all over the place. I’m the type of person that people would ask, “So, what are you into now?”
However, I didn’t identify my life’s purpose until I had a conversation with my children about an upcoming opportunity. During this particular conversation, my son said that the opportunity “didn’t seem on brand.” I was like, “What are you talking about?” He then listed everything that I’ve done, and even though they seem sporadic – counseling, creating children’s books, teaching, acting, singing, puppeteering, working in the school system, working in the prison, etc. – he connected them into a cohesive tapestry that made sense. It was a light bulb moment, and my son said, “You got to know your brand.” Meaning, what am I about? Who and what do I gravitate to? And why?
Motivational speaker and writer, Simon Sinek, discussed strategies to find your why. Sinek’s advice connected to my own experience. He suggested that we ask our closest friends something like, “What is it about me specifically that makes you connect and trust me?” Your friends will eventually describe how you make them feel, which connects to how you engage with the world, i.e., your why. I identified my pattern and purpose through self-reflection and feedback from insightful people who loved, supported, and understood me.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
I have various interests, and I’ve created a life where I can pursue them – even in small ways. I’m the founder and clinical director of Ease & Wellness Counseling Services. It’s a private practice that provides therapeutic support to individuals, families, communities, and organizations about substance misuse-related concerns. Outside of my private practice, I work with the Department of Social Work at Northern Arizona University (NAU). I recently acquired a Master of Social Work from NAU. I think highly of their academic program and faculty, and it’s an honor to give back!
Social justice and advocacy are strong motivators for me. I’ve been a member of the Arizona Association of Addiction Professionals (AAAP) for a few years, and I love working with this group of changemakers. I recently joined the Tucson Branch of the NAACP and a local Democrat affiliate. It’s important for me to actively participate in positive and equitable change, and I plan to make more time to pursue these endeavors.
And then there are the arts, which touch on the entire human experience! I’m currently in Winding Road Theater Ensemble’s production of POTUS, which is a wonderfully ridiculous and timely political farce that runs until September 22nd. I’m assisting Winding Road with Tales of Terror!, a devised reading of spooky stories and urban legends. Amid singing lessons and rehearsals, I’m also preparing to write and illustrate the 3rd book in my children’s picture book series, The Danny Dutterhuff Series.
The stories follow Danny, a 5-year-old kindergartner from New Orleans, who learns about the world around him with the help of his mother, his older brother, and his community. The series touches on sensitive topics that affect everyone – including children – and discusses them with kindness, sensitivity, bravery, and tolerance. They’re a great and quick way to encourage conversations and connection.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
This is a great question as well! If I had to choose 3 qualities, I’d say creativity, compassion, and courage. I didn’t mean for them to all start with the letter, “c”! Creativity builds the structure in my life, compassion guides it, and courage fuels it. I consistently live outside of my comfort zone, which can be unsettling and downright scary. However, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
My advice would be to identify what you want in your life – and this changes as we change. Most of my current activities – especially acting – were inspired by a bucket list I created with my children. My bucket list encouraged me to think big, be bold, be intentional, and search for creative and courageous ways to incorporate those goals into my life. I also created a secondary list of small things that I’d like to learn – like learning how to keep a plant alive longer than a few weeks – and I’d pick one to focus on each month.
I’d suggest taking small steps to reach your goals and focus more on consistency than volume. I’ve always wanted to learn how to play the piano, so I dedicate about 20 minutes a day to playing or learning music theory. It’s not much – and it certainly doesn’t match the level of intensity of dedicated musicians – but it’s enough for me to see results, practice on my own time, and feel as if I’m working toward my goal. My last piece of advice is to be compassionate to yourself and others. There’s so much beauty and pain in the world. Try to increase and celebrate one while addressing the other, which could be volunteering (either in person or remotely), checking in with the people you encounter, and being sensitive to your own needs.
Awesome, really appreciate you opening up with us today and before we close maybe you can share a book recommendation with us. Has there been a book that’s been impactful in your growth and development?
One of my favorite books is Women Who Run with Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Éstes. I’ve read this book so many times that the pages are worn and darkened with tea stains. It’s very well used! Éstes is a Jungian psychoanalyst and curandera who uses cultural stories – myths, lore, and fairy tales – to help women explore and celebrate their complex inner lives, their wildness, their creativity, and their bodies while living in the real world. I didn’t realize it until I answered this question that this book connects to a lot of my interests: storytelling, creativity, anthropology, psychology, advocating for Indigenous communities, and connecting with the natural world.
One of my favorites stories in the book is titled, “Bluebeard.” A young woman meets a suitor, and ignoring the red flags, she marries him only to discover that he’s a serial killer who’s murdered his previous wives. Éstes breaks down the story and explores the archetypes within the narrative. Even though it’s a cautionary tale, Éstes uses a strength-based and trauma-informed perspective as she explores the importance of trusting our intuition, and developing the courage to not only see what’s behind the door, but learning how to fight for ourselves.
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Contact Info:
- Website: https://tanishajray.com
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tanisha-ray-88010784/
Image Credits
The theater photo is credited to JJ Snyder Photography.
The piano photo is credited to Alia Jesuis.
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
