We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Cole Allen a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Cole, we’re so appreciative of you taking the time to share your nuggets of wisdom with our community. One of the topics we think is most important for folks looking to level up their lives is building up their self-confidence and self-esteem. Can you share how you developed your confidence?
As a musician, confidence is key. This is especially true for solo artists, who have to be bold enough to take the stage on their own. Crowds will become disinterested if you are timid at the mic and don’t take control of the room. I believe that self-esteem and confidence are less intrinsic qualities as they are qualities that derive from comparing yourself to others. The development of my confidence came at an early age for me. I have always taken pride in my level of self-awareness, and since I was young, I always felt like I was just more gifted and talented (GT) in most aspects of life compared to my peers. I was the fastest kid on the playground and the smartest kid in school (even though that’s not very hard to do in Arkansas). Being naturally better than everyone else led to me having a high self-esteem. I was obviously confident, because I always expected to win, and most of the time I was right. Once I was outside the school setting, where I constantly had grades to reinforce my confidence level, having confidence became much more difficult. Without a standard bar, one can lose sight of their abilities compared to others. That is why I believe it is vital for your confidence to constantly compare yourself to those around you. This is especially true in the arts. Since music is so subjective in nature, as long as you consider your peers beneath you, you can be confident because you are better than them in your own mind. My advice for others who want to be like me, want to be confident, and want to have a high self-esteem is to first assume that everyone around you is an idiot. If you start with the assumption that people are dumb, it gives you a sense of bravado when addressing the crowd. If you consider others lesser in nature than yourself, confidence comes easy. However, if you have a high level of self-awareness, this could probably be difficult for you. Being the best in the room is 100% dependent on the room you are in. If you feel like you are a small fish in a big sea, maybe take your talents to a lesser audience. If you try this and you still aren’t confident and don’t feel like you are good enough, it’s probably because you are right and it may be time to hang it up and try something else.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
To the layman, I’m a songwriter. However, what I do is so much more than that. The songs I write challenge, inspire, entertain, and change lives. The songs that I write are on such a high level, that sometimes I don’t even understand them. When I perform these songs in a live setting, I take the audience on a journey. One minute, they are laughing, smiling, and singing along, and then moments later they are sobbing uncontrollably. I am currently working on a new album, but I’m not forcing anything. When I write, I don’t sit down with an idea, form an outline/rhyme scheme, develop a melody, and all of that. I just meditate and wait for inspiration. When the words come, they come. I often feel as if I’m just a vessel channeling words and melody out of the ether. When I perform, I just get out of the way and let the songs speak for themselves.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
So many people today have an over inflated view of themselves, I think that one key to success is remaining humble. It’s not an easy task, but you have to let others think that they are on the same level as you, so that they feel like they can empathize with you and your songs. If you struggle with this, one way to improve is to listen to what others are saying. If you really listen to what they are saying and pay attention to not just their words, but what they are actually saying, you can manipulate the situation to better fit your agenda. This really ties into another trait that I think is extremely important: being moldable. There is a temptation to want to be true to yourself and to create art that resonates with you. The truth is, no one really cares about you as much as you think they do or should. People care about themselves. You have to mold your work into something that you think the masses will be able to connect with. Sometimes that requires giving up some artistic liberties, but that’s showbiz. The third quality that I think is important is having the natural ability to do what we do. You can practice all you want, get better at the guitar, take vocal lessons, try to write songs, but if you don’t have that natural ability, you are just putting lipstick on a pig. There are tons of hobbies out there for people to take up that don’t require the skill set that is required for writing/performing music.
What is the number one obstacle or challenge you are currently facing and what are you doing to try to resolve or overcome this challenge?
The number one obstacle that I face on a daily basis is trying to write songs on a level that can connect with the masses. As society as a whole continues to devolve, it gets harder and harder to write songs as an intellectual that resonate with those that have a more simplistic mindset. The way that I cope with this is I try to remove my own thoughts from the songwriting process. I listen to what is popular, form a general outline of what common people are interested in, and retell the story in a different way. I also try to surround myself with low-IQ people. After my bar gigs, I’ll hang around until closing time and listen to the people at the bar talk. From those conversations, I try to recreate their stories into songs while using repetitive language and listing things that those types of people like to do.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.coleallenmusic.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coleallenmusic/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coleallenmusicpage/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/lca05003
- Other: https://open.spotify.com/artist/2Fa0YiloSpFOZdL3QZstgb?si=kbXhGrVTR1q27DkNvIbG-w
Image Credits
Dry County Culture – Andrew Raiford Saxon Pub – Travis Perkins Sabine River Blues – Charlie Haskins
