Meet Kay Dolores

We recently connected with Kay Dolores and have shared our conversation below.

Kay, thank you so much for joining us today. Let’s jump right into something we’re really interested in hearing about from you – being the only one in the room. So many of us find ourselves as the only woman in the room, the only immigrant or the only artist in the room, etc. Can you talk to us about how you have learned to be effective and successful in situations where you are the only one in the room like you?

When I was in Catholic school, I first learned that my being the only one like me meant I was unwelcome, that I was dirty, that I wasn’t like the others, and would most likely burn forever in hell. That’s pretty unpleasant, until you understand that you can take aaaaaalll that hatred and turn it into your strength—strength to create your own world through art, strength to build your own community, strength to inspire others who also feel alone and rejected, and strength of course to leave your detractors in your dust, without ever lifting a finger against them.

You learn that your so-called flaws are actually your power, they give you what no one else has, they give you an advantage in an over-saturated homogenous crowd. And when you see what that crowd requires from you in order to gain its acceptance, you won’t want anything to do with them anyway. That’s why I’ve found the story of Lucifer so exciting—the rejected angel who creates a new family of everyone else despised by the crowd.

And you know what they say—

Those in need of a rejected angel should look no further than a Midwestern princess in six-inch heels.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

I sing in the band Suicide Queen, which I started in 2014 when I lived in Oakland. I also write all the music.

We have been fortunate to perform with some amazing people in some amazing places.

We have also been fortunate to play in some of the most vile and corrupt people in some of the most depraved places.

Writing on the next Suicide Queen record is complete and I will be recording vocals over the next month or so, with a hopeful release early next year. We will be playing at Bar Sinister in Hollywood October 19–our SoCal second home—after which we will likely need to retreat for a month or two to finish the record. This record will be, I think, darker and heavier than the first. Like a bathtub full of motor oil—delicious.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

Patience, kindness, and unfettered arrogance. All in balance, of course. Be patient with others and their idiosyncrasies because you might be surprised by what they have to offer from those—be patient with yourself and your process because rarely does rushing anything get you what you wanted. Be kind to others because it’s the right thing to do, but also because it will make you a better person with whom to work, which will help you actually surround yourself with the kinds of people with whom you want to work—how lovely. Be absolutely convinced you have something to offer and that you can offer it better than anyone else—do all you can to make that true, but please, at least pretend in the meantime.

Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?

I find the need for sleep to be a terrible impediment to productivity. I am doing my best, through spite and commonly available chemicals, never to sleep again.

Can’t wait to see how that turns out!

Contact Info:

• Website: https://Linktr.ee/suicidequeenofficial
• Instagram: Suicidequeenofficial
• Twitter: Suicidequeenca

Image Credits

Scarr Kevorkian, Jeremy Goodson