Meet Tamara Johnson

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Tamara Johnson a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Tamara, we’re thrilled to have you on our platform and we think there is so much folks can learn from you and your story. Something that matters deeply to us is living a life and leading a career filled with purpose and so let’s start by chatting about how you found your purpose.

While sharing my struggles as a stepmom on social media, I noticed that other stepmothers and bonus moms resonated with my words. That is when I realized my writing not only helped other stepmoms, but it also reinforced my own sense of purpose as an intentional stepparent. I decided to expand my efforts by creating an affirmation journal for stepmoms and a children’s book. Through my writing, I am committed to empowering stepmoms and bonus moms to embrace their roles with intention and confidence. I want stepmoms to know that they are not alone in their journey!

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

After saying “I do” in July 2013, I began my journey in the world of step-parenting. Juggling the exhausting struggles of being a step mommy with the pressures of blended family life, I was so ready to step away from my marriage. However, with the help of personal therapy, marriage counseling, prayer, new founded confidence, and self-care, I discovered the strength to continue in my truth. While healing, Stepmom Goals, LLC was unleashed from my heart. Focused on helping other stepmothers and bonus moms in their own escapades, I am determined to adjust their crowns daily.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

To be a purposeful stepparent, there are several important qualities to hold. My advice to stepparents is to focus not only on self-care, but also empathy, patience, and flexibility. Empathy allows you to relate to your stepchildren’s feelings and their perspectives. Being compassionate is a stepparent’s superpower when it comes to facing their blended families’ unique needs and challenges. The goal is to co-create a safe (emotionally, physically, and spiritually) and encouraging environment for your stepchildren to express themselves and to consistently develop a powerful sense of belonging. I share with other stepparents that being patient gives you the opportunity to steer through the emotions and the complex dynamics that may arise in a blended family. For instance, it may take time for everyone involved to adjust to their new roles while establishing trust. Blending families together cannot be rushed at all. Lastly, flexibility is key when adapting to schedules, certain routines, and different parenting styles. Navigating the complexities of co-parenting requires patience indeed. Also, it allows you to embrace the change and adjust to creating a cohesive and harmonious blended family unit. No matter what, an intentional stepparent grows in their role by implementing empathy, patience, and flexibility with open communication, understanding and continuous effort.

Before we go, any advice you can share with people who are feeling overwhelmed?

When feeling overwhelmed, especially as a stepmom, I prioritize self-care. I make sure to take the time out for myself to recharge and engage in activities that help me to relax. Because I have suffered in emotional silence, I understand what it feels like to want to shrink yourself. I also know how it feels to not feel emotionally safe in your own home. It is like no one wants to try to understand you or your feelings. But I want to remind the hurting stepmom, that she is not alone. The hardest part of being a stepmom is lack. Lack of acknowledgment. Lack of appreciation. Lack of encouragement. Lack of respect. It hurts. It stings. But I know it changes. It just must. That is why I always encourage my stepmom and bonus mom tribe to hold on to their faith. Yes, there may be days when a stepmom may have to rebuild herself. But she does not make herself small for others’ comfort. As a purposeful stepmom, it is imperative to define your role. And being a superhero is not part of it. A stepmom is not a time traveler. She cannot read minds. And she does not wear a cape. Her role in her family will always be influential and so valuable in her family. Yet, she will never be able to pour from an empty cup. This is why self-care is so important to me, especially when feeling emotionally exhausted.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://stan.store/StepmomGoals
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stepmomgoals_/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StepmomGoalsLLC/