Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Josette Gastonguay. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Josette, so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.
In a word, practice.
I wasn’t born confident. For me, confidence isn’t a natural talent, it’s a well-developed and frequently practiced skill. I’ve had to work hard and practice regularly to strengthen and maintain my confidence “muscles”.
It’s possible if you were to ask someone who knows me, they may say I’ve always been confident, but I would say I’ve always been passionate and that can sometimes come across as confidence; but if I appeared confident in my younger years, it was most likely a mask I was wearing. True confidence didn’t come for me till I hit my forties.
How to Practice Confidence
Most people won’t want to hear this, but it comes from putting yourself in situations that require you to be confident. We can’t build confidence in the background. We can’t become confident if we’re never challenged. That’s false confidence. It would be similar to feeling confident about your skills as a star athlete because you’ve only ever been in places where the skill level was low, but when you are thrust into a much bigger pool you may lose some of that confidence. Be willing to fail, be willing to be shown you’re not the best, put yourself in the room with people better than you and you will start to strengthen that skill.
Tips I can Offer
Practice your posture. This is so underrated, but when you stand tall, you feel tall and it’s really that simple. Open up your chest, take a couple of deep meaningful breaths, stretch your arms out and walk like a flight attendant who knows exactly what gate they need to be at for a flight taking off soon. Strong, confident, focused.
Learn to Pause. Confident speakers especially, learn that it’s okay to pause instead of adding filler words. It’s okay to have the audience “hanging” on your ever word.
Wait 24hrs. Again, it’s okay to let someone wait a bit. Our society today is in such a rush that we race to be first, but first isn’t always best and in doing so we may stumble and rather than coming across as confident; we may come across as naive. I can tell you from personal experience that I’ve made this particular mistake many times in my youth, and it is a learning moment that sticks with you.
Listen to your instincts. Humanity has this sort of built in radar system. Nature gave us a way of knowing what’s right for us and what’s not meant for us; and it’s so important to keep that system intact. At the end of the day confidence is a skill and while some may have been born “naturally talented’ in the area, it’s a skill we can, and should all learn.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
“If the only thing people could see about you were your intentions, would the world find you beautiful?” ~ Find Your Inner Empress
As the owner, founder and chief creator at Find Your Inner Empress or FYIE as I’ve lovingly dubbed it, I’m passionate about purpose. My purpose? To demonstrate that women continually grow more beautiful with age and that fashion, and the fashion industry needs to follow our lead. I have developed and continue to build on my brand, FYIE and subsequent boutique spaces and pop-ups, with the goal of offering a curated selection of timeless and thoughtful pieces for women that remind us that the changes our bodies endure over a lifetime make us more beautiful, more unique, more everything in the best possible way.
Continuing to Build on a Mission
Many of the accessory pieces at FYIE Boutique spaces are designed by me personally and utilize a combination of recycled materials along with new embellishments for a fresh updated look, because I truly believe life can be sustainable and beautiful, but also as a reminder that just because something has grown older, or lost its original luster, does not mean it’s lost its value or beauty. To say that I can find something beautiful, unique and truly fabulous in every antique shop I frequent is an understatement.
Who are My Customers
Notably and perhaps by design, my boutique spaces and brand products appeal most to middle-aged women such as myself. It can be challenging for women when we hit middle age. Not always of course, but oftentimes we start to feel invisible to the outside world. It’s a quiet sort of nudge to say, “We’re here, our original luster has faded a bit, but we’re here and our brilliance still shines.”
The Future of FYIE
As of the timing of this article, FYIE has two physical boutique spaces located in Pennsylvania near the north and south areas of greater Pittsburgh, and I’m always on the lookout for ways to build sustainable growth. Much like our motto of “Timeless Styles, Thoughtful Choices” I want to grow in a way that is thoughtful and sustainable over time, and that maintains the integrity of my vision. I will continue to be on the lookout for those opportunities and welcome those new collaborations.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
A Time of Reflection
Looking back over my life, my own mistakes, my growth, the ways in which my life has changed, I would say the most important skills I have developed are perseverance, resilience and mental strength. Let’s call them the 3 keys. Each key was needed to unlock a doorway to my continued life journey, but notably each key needed to be worked for, and none were simply given.
It can be tough, sometimes you want to give up and say “Is this it? Is this all there is for me” but a secret I’ve learned is that the treasure hiding behind each locked door isn’t the only treasure. I think that’s what the world would like us to believe, but it’s not. Certainly no one can deny that there is satisfaction in reaching the end of the preverbal rainbow and pot of gold, but when I look back over my life and the adventures I’ve had, even the mistakes I’ve made, it was the journey itself that was pure gold. It’s the journey itself where I’ll most often stop with a family member or close friend and say “do you remember that time”….
Who has been most helpful in helping you overcome challenges or build and develop the essential skills, qualities or knowledge you needed to be successful?
Without a doubt my family. I have been inspired by strong women my whole life and I have admired many. When strong women walk into the room, I never feel threatened, quite the opposite. I immediately feel inspired. From former CEO’s, writers, authors, and entrepreneurs to the retired, Polish baker who babysat me when I was little. Their strength was such an inspiration, but at the end of the day the strongest woman I’ve ever known is my mother. She may be tiny in physical stature, but inside beats the heart of a lioness.
Built by Resilience
My parents are the embodiment of resilience, one grew up quite poor, the daughter of a West Virginia coal miner, the other spent their formative years in an orphanage never to be adopted, and neither were given any breaks in life, but when I see them, I do not see them as their past, I see the resilience and determination that built their future and mine. Two amazing people who came together and decided “we can do better; we will do better”.
Shown the Way through Perseverance
My big brother is now, and has always been, a huge inspiration to me and has been modeling perseverance my whole life. I’m not sure if he realizes it or not, but he’s taught me that perseverance can be another word for change. Sometimes, to be successful in life it’s not about giving up and trying something new, but rather we need to view things from another perspective, and then re-evaluate the path we’re taking to get there. He and his lovely wife have been a steadfast support system and grateful isn’t a big enough word.
Reminded of Courage
Courage as many of us know isn’t the absence of fear, it’s acknowledging that fear exists but doing it anyway. Much like confidence is for me, my courage muscles sometimes need work. There were times, particularly in the beginning of the development of FYIE where I second guessed myself, wondered if I was good enough, if I was the right person to bring this to the world, and it would be my teenager who would look at me and remind me who I am. Strong, independent and fierce.
Acknowledgment of Opportunities
I wake up and I consider myself blessed every day, because while life hasn’t been easy, and I’ve had more than my fair share of trials and tribulations, what I’ve learned to do is recognize the opportunities in each situation. Recognizing them isn’t enough though; we need to dig deep and find the courage to act on those opportunities.
What’s Your Story?
If I could share one bit of advice with fellow readers it would be that you get to choose. Will your story be your origin story, the one you emerged like a phoenix from, or will it be your anchor story, the one that holds you down and keeps you from going further, doing more and dreaming bigger. The beauty in life is that we get to choose and that IS the opportunity. The question is, will you act on that opportunity?
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.findyourinnerempress.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/findyourinnerempress/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Find-Your-INNER-Empress-LLC/100091990060887/
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