Meet Brenda Stephens

We were lucky to catch up with Brenda Stephens recently and have shared our conversation below.

Brenda, so excited to have you with us today. So much we can chat about, but one of the questions we are most interested in is how you have managed to keep your creativity alive.
Rest is the answer for me. I find that with enough self care, specifically rest, I am able to notice the flow of new ideas coming to my mind without effort. If I don’t get enough rest I find myself to be stuck in a cycle of just trying to get through the day and not having the creative part of me present at all.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
My passion is helping people who have experienced trauma, specifically people who have been emotionally (and sometimes physically) traumatized by narcissists.

As a survivor of narcissistic abuse myself, I began to recognize several years ago many clients coming to me for therapy that seemed to be experiencing the same emotional reactions and symptoms that I recognized in myself from my own experience. I started to focus my work on helping people who have suffered the confusing and reality shaking abuse that narcissists are so skilled at perpetrating.

Through my own experience, and the many stories I’ve heard from survivors of narcissistic abuse, I have written two books:

Recovering from Narcissistic Mothers: A Daughter’s Guide and The Narcissism Recovery Workbook: Skills for Healing from Emotional Abuse in order to help people navigate the confusing and complex emotions they feel when they realize they have been in a relationship with a narcissist. I have trained other therapists to work with survivors of narcissistic abuse and hope to continue to train others so that people can find therapists who understand the nuances of the experiences of survivors of narcissistic abuse.

My practice offers a weekly support group on Thursdays at 1PM Pacific Time, for anyone who would like to join. The support of others who have been in relationships with a narcissist is incredibly helpful as most of us are not understood by the friends and family in our lives who have not experienced this kind of relationship. The validation of the experience is crucial and our group offers validation, understanding, and support.

The word “narcissist” is thrown around casually in our society these days but those who have been in relationships with narcissists know that there’s a real difference between someone who is self centered and egocentric and someone who has true narcissistic traits.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Looking back, it is clear to me that my own experience with a narcissist helped me recognize the same pain in my clients. I have said often that I had so many people coming to me for therapy and telling the same story about their partners that I experienced with mine, I (jokingly) started to wonder if they were all dating my ex!

The truth is, that there are many of us that have experienced this type of abuse in all kinds of settings. I strongly encourage anyone who has been in a relationship with a narcissist to seek help and support. Having others who understand your experience is incredible and is crucial to healing.

How would you describe your ideal client?
My ideal client is someone who has experienced the pain of being in an emotionally toxic relationship. My heart feels for them and I know that I have the skills and tools to help them heal.

When a person is emotionally abused, and more specifically, abused by a narcissist, it is a very lonely place to be. It’s my goal to let people know that they can heal and find support to live the vibrant, healthy life they want to live. And more importantly, that they can learn to love and trust themselves.

Contact Info:

Image Credits
James Bonato for image credit with movie clap board.

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