Meet R.h. Bird

We were lucky to catch up with R.h. Bird recently and have shared our conversation below.

R.H., so good to have you with us today. We’ve always been impressed with folks who have a very clear sense of purpose and so maybe we can jump right in and talk about how you found your purpose?

Holy Cow! I wish I knew what my purpose was! Actually, I do.

In college my purpose was to get a business degree. I read a book in school about Lee Iacocca, the creator of the Mustang at Ford and the Minivan at Chrysler. The way he described his journey up the corporate ladder sounded so exciting, I knew I wanted to enter the business world and follow in those footsteps. So, I became a Biz Admin major and was also a member of Sigma Tau Chi fraternity. My other goal in college was to have as much fun as possible. But what happens when my time as a student ends, what’s my purpose then?

One of my first jobs after graduating was at 44 Wall Street, working for a firm called Waterhouse Securities. I was in the investment world and my purpose was to climb up my own corporate ladder, just like Lee Iacocca had. The promotions came fairly quickly, to Supervisor in Jersey City, to Branch Manger in Honolulu, eventually to First Vice President. I’ll skip over some of the details, but I switched companies a few times and in my late twenties, I became a Senior Vice President at Datek Online. But Datek did so well, we got bought out by a much larger corporation. So if my identity was wrapped up in becoming a top executive at a young age, what’s my purpose when that gets taken away?

I married my college sweetheart soon after graduating. We waited a few years to have kids, but at 28 our first daughter came along, and thank God, two more awesome daughters followed. My objective was to become the greatest dad ever. I coached little league and soccer, spent tons of time with them, and took incredible vacations so they could experience a little bit of travel and other cultures. All the while, trying to instill great values into my girls. But if my path was to be a fantastic dad, what happens when we become empty nesters? Of course our relationships never end, but what’s my purpose when they move out?

After Datek Online got bought out, we moved to Las Vegas. I started a small business and eventually became a Stock Broker. In that part of Wall Street, I wasn’t an executive like earlier, now I had to build a book of clients and help manage their portfolios. You’re judged on how much production (revenue to the firm), you bring in. From the very beginning of this new career, I was on the highest level – Chairman’s Club pace. My new ambition was to be one of the top brokers in Vegas and then hopefully the country. The sky was the limit. However, in 2009 I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. The pain, fatigue, daily migraines, and other symptoms forced me into an early retirement. What happens when I become wrapped up in my career, and that career is taken away from me? What’s my purpose then?

A few years after retiring, I needed a way to fill my time and tried my hand at writing. It’s taken several years, but I found a publisher in upstate New York called The Wild Rose Press, and they published my first book titled, Promposal and we’ve signed a contract for the sequel – Last Prom Standing. I’m also in early development talks to make Promposal into a musical. Who knows what will happen with my new identity and exciting ventures? But either through age, illness, or other business opportunities, eventually they’ll go away too. What will my purpose be then?

If we stake our purpose in life on any worldly goals, it’s a fool’s errand. No matter who you are or what you’ve accomplished, Father Time or something else will win out. Whether you’re Julius Caesar, Cleopatra, George Washington, Harriet Tubman or a regular guy or gal, nothing on earth lasts forever. One day it will all be over.

The only way to discover your true purpose or find real joy is in your relationship with God. He has to be your purpose. I wished I would have learned this lesson much earlier in life, not that my path would have necessarily been different, but trusting in Him to guide me along the way would have reduced my stress level infinitely.

I pray that you discover your true purpose and find everlasting joy.

Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?

After being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, my life went into a tail spin. My wife was a stay at home mom, and I had 3 young daughters to support. But I was no longer able to work. My ability to bring home a “normal” paycheck had ended. Talk about stress–and of course, stress makes MS worse.

I tried poring myself into writing, but I quickly learned that if I could work hard, I’d still be working. Any attempt to put in anything close to the amount of effort I used to exhibit, sent me into what’s called a relapse or an attack by MS. I’d end up in bed for the next two weeks with horrible migraines, awful nausea, and bone crushing pain. Yikes!

I learned the very hard way that life had changed. As much as I tried to control my own destiny, I discovered that sometimes, the disease wins. I had to come to terms with an old maxim – “You can only do your best.” It sounds so simple, but it’s incredibly difficult to grasp. When your best used to be at 11, but now it’s only at 2 or 3, how do you come to grips with that?

Unfortunately, I had to. Any attempt to go anywhere near 11 sent me back into bed for two weeks or a month with the never ending migraines, pain, fatigue, and nausea. I was diagnosed with MS in 2009. I still struggle with accepting “Only doing my best,” but I’ve gotten much better at it. I feel bad for people who are newly diagnosed with a chronic illness or maybe suffered a debilitating stroke. As Americans, we’re told to keep fighting and trying to beat the disease. It’s part of our DNA. I can see in their eyes they haven’t realized that they can “Only do their best.” One day, when it finally happens, there’s something freeing about it.

So, that’s my struggle. I may not be able to write as productively as I’d like, but it hasn’t affected the story of Promposal. I wrote it as a pure entertainment and I can almost guarantee that it will be the fastest and funnest book you’ve ever read.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

The perception of a being writer is that you lead a solitary existence. Maybe you go to a mountain retreat, lock yourself into a cabin for a few months, and out pores a new novel. Sounds romantic and like a lot of fun, but it couldn’t be further from the truth, at least as a new writer. I heard an instructor once say something like, “You can’t be an author unless you join a writing group.”

That, I believe is very true. We’re not able to judge our own work. Everything we write looks like it came from J.K. Rowling. If you only give your work to your mom or friends to judge, they’ll be considerate and tell you how good you are. It’s what we all want to hear. But it’s the opposite of what you need.

The great thing about a writing group is they’ll tell you where your writing needs improvement and politely point out that you’re not J.K. Rowling. Somebody has to tell you that. I’m not J.K., either. You’ll also critique other people’s writing and help them get better with your constructive feedback. You’ll learn as much by listening to what other writers have to say as by the written comments they make on your pages.

The first few times you attend a writing group, it can be very nerve wracking and intimidating. Just listen and learn. Maybe on your third try, bring some pages to be critiqued. You’ll be dying for them to tell you that you’re the best ever and should start planning on having either Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt play the lead in your book. But when you get feedback telling you that you’re not there yet, it’ll sting a little. Don’t give up. Keep coming back and they’ll tell you how to get better. Follow 95% of what they recommend. I consider their comments to be like Christmas presents. It ALWAYS improves my writing.

After joining a writing group, the next two qualities you’ll need to succeed are persistence and persistence. I was unprepared for what it feels like after my book was published. There’s great hope and anticipation that it’ll immediately shoot up the bestseller lists. If it doesn’t, it can be discouraging. For most authors, it can take four or five books before achieving commercial success. Fleetwood Mac wasn’t seriously popular until their fourteenth album.

There will be plenty of times and opportunities for you to quit. Some of your problems may seem insurmountable. The only way to get past these moments is go through them and keep plugging away–every single day. The people who have that dogged determination to continue forward and persevere are the ones who achieve great things.

Don’t be discouraged if you’re not an overnight success. Hard work will win out.

How can folks who want to work with you connect?

Funny you should ask! Influencers and bloggers keep commenting that when reading Promposal, it feels like they’re watching a Rom-Com on Disney, Netflix, or Max.

Currently I’m working on developing Promposal into a musical. I’d love for it to become this generation’s “Grease.” It’s very early in the process, so we need all the components that go into making a play. Composer / lyricist, director, the crew, etc.

As for the TV or movie side–same thing. We need the Hollywood connections and expertise to turn a successful novel into a movie or series.

Anyone looking to collaborate can email me at [email protected].

Contact Info:

• Website: https://rhbird.com
• Instagram: @rhbirdauthor
• Facebook: @rhbirdauthor
• Other: TikTok = @rhbirdauthor