Meet Brian Douglas

Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Brian Douglas. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Brian, we’re thrilled to have you on our platform and we think there is so much folks can learn from you and your story. Something that matters deeply to us is living a life and leading a career filled with purpose and so let’s start by chatting about how you found your purpose.

This is a question I have spent a lot of time reflecting on over the past couple of years. I have always been someone who enjoys pursing different creative outlets be it music, photography or film making. I’ve been creating since I was a teenager because it has always filled me with a sense of joy and happiness that I have not been able to find in other parts of my life. I have always approached these outlets as something first and foremost for me; my own self-care. But, after my dad experienced his first stroke and subsequently died a couple of years later, the way I started thinking about purpose has taken on a much deeper meaning for me.

So how do I find purpose? I find it through intentionally leaning into discomfort; by finding ways to combine my professional career as a social worker and grief therapist into my creative pursuits. By reflecting on life through a lens of legacy that helps me stay present, grounded and ideally somewhat balanced. I have found that by thinking about legacy and how I want to be remembered is so much more about living than it is about dying. This realization has allowed me to find purpose in new ways and to from new perspectives. And this has sort of become my new ‘purpose’ or goal; trying to help others see the value in reflecting on life through a lens of legacy.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

I am a Registered Social Worker (Master of Social Work, University of Toronto) with a focus on grief and legacy, a photographer and filmmaker based in Kitchener, Ontario. By combining these skills, I have found a passion in providing individuals who are dying (or their families after a death) the unique opportunity to create one-of-a-kind legacy films: essentially a personalized mini documentary.

The work I do is truly a privilege. Sitting with people and bearing witness to their grief, hearing their stories and being able to provide a space for that is really an honor. Finding a way to combine my creative passions within my grief work has allowed for a whole new way to work with people and to help them nearing the end of their life or after a death has occurred.

I am currently taking on new clients who are interested in engaging in Legacy work. Again, this does not have to be people nearing the end of their life or who are facing a serious illness but, if any one reading this would be interested in working together please reach out! And if you happen to live in Ontario and have benefits for Social Work, part of our work together can be covered!!

But on a more personal level, I have recently started trying to find new ways to engage people in legacy based conversations and this has taken on the form of new passion projects. I am a strong believer in passion projects! A few of the photos I have shared as part of this interview were from my series 5 a.m. where I documented shift workers (as close to 5 a.m. as possible) in my attempt to give voice to an often unseen yet vital part of our workforce. No one asked me to do this project! It was born out of a genuine interest to connect with people we don’t often see of hear from.

Currently my Instagram accounts lets_get_griefy is where I am trying to build a community with content mainly related to grief and legacy but does expand a bit beyond those parameters. I have also started a couple of new passion projects. One is offering people portraits in exchange for a filmed conversation about life, living and legacy. These portraits, some of which I have also shared as a part of this interview, will be shared through social media in the near future. The hope for this project, for me, is again to highlight how any of us, at any point in time, can think about what we want our legacy to be and how we can engage in life in the here and now to live towards that legacy.

I am also looking to undertake what may be my most personal project to date. I did create a film called ‘a beautiful death’ over COVID that ended up being a very personal narrative, more so than I was expecting it to be. But, the new project is intentionally personal. I am not going to share details about it now because I am still in the very early stages of development, but I think things are moving in the right direction for it to happen! If you’re interested, please follow along on one of my accounts. That is where I plan to share the project as it unfolds.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

Your questions are tough!! Good but tough. You’re really making me think and I like that! Practically speaking to the areas of knowledge, continuing to engage in professional development around grief, trauma and mental health while also surrounding myself with good people where I can get both formal and informal supervision is important for the work I do as a grief therapist and as a social worker generally.

I am not sure if this is a skill or quality but first and foremost always trying to be human has made a big difference for me. I try not to engage in any interaction (personally or professionally) from a position of knowing more, being right or having all the answers. I like to meet people where they’re at. I think most people who know me would say I am a laid back, calm person who is comfortable sitting in the silence. So that is a quality I possess; being comfortable with silence. My own or sitting in it with others.

In terms of advice, I would say just keep at it, whatever that ‘it’ is for you. And do it for you not because you think it is what others want from or for you. Doing things because you think it is what others want, doesn’t usually make us feel happy or fulfilled. I would also suggest being okay with discomfort. Any changes we make in our lives comes with some element of discomfort. Change = discomfort. Change is a funny thing because as we grow in the directions we want to grow in, we also experience loss. It could be loss of what we once had and knew or even the loss of people who don’t understand or embrace our growth. If change was easy, we’d all be the best versions of ourselves. In reality, we are all works in progress but that is part of what makes life interesting; it is always full of possibilities if you’re willing to put yourself out there.

Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?

Another good question!!! If I look at this from a professional perspective, I would say right now my biggest challenge is spreading the word about the legacy work I offer and the value I believe it holds for people at any point in life. I think I may have said this before, but legacy is so much more about life and living than it is about death and dying and that can be hard to grasp. Thinking from the perspective of how I want to be remembered or what I hope to leave behind when we are young and healthy can be daunting but waiting until we find out we’re seriously ill or dying, does not give us a lot of time to necessarily make the changes or to do the things we want to do.

If I think about this question through a personal lens, I think my biggest challenge is accepting that it is okay to work less because it gives me a lot more time to focus on other parts of my life that matter way more; like family. I often have so many ideas and things I want to do and I need to be okay with not doing it all. Sometimes, just thinking and imaging a project can be enough.

I also find it really challenging to navigate social media as a way to leverage the work I do. I think in part it has always been a confidence thing; not trusting my voice. But, I am slowly figuring it out. I also try to live by the advice I would give to others: create and share the things that are meaningful and important to me; if I am true and authentic to who I am that is enough! But, people will also be able to sense that and maybe decide they’re interested in following along and seeing where all of this goes!

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