Meet Stephanie Linsley

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Stephanie Linsley a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Stephanie, so great to have you on the platform and excited to have you share your wisdom with our community today. Communication skills often play a powerful role in our ability to be effective and so we’d love to hear about how you developed your communication skills.

I believe relationships are built on our ability to communicate effectively. And communication is an art that we’re all practicing in every interaction—whether with other people, animals, or even ourselves. There are many experiences I could credit with helping me develop more effective communication skills, but I think it really comes down to one simple principle: I care about what others think.

I know this may run counter to the popular notion of speaking your mind and not worrying about others’ opinions of your free expression. But I think we should all care a little more about how our words and actions affect those around us.

When I speak—or write—I’m always trying to gauge how my words are being received and interpreted. If my message is misunderstood, it challenges me to find a more tactful way to convey it. Maybe I need to be more direct, more compassionate, more lighthearted, or even say less. The people around you will give clues if you’re open to listening. And that brings me to the other crucial aspect of effective communication that we tend to forget: listening.

Communication is not just about relaying information—it’s about sharing and exchanging it. Receiving *and* giving. When we open ourselves to truly listen to others, we gain valuable insights. And together we can raise the knowledge Collective.

Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?

For someone as long-winded as I tend to be, there’s not a question I dread more than the open ended “tell me about you”. I get anxious trying to collect my years of success, failures, jobs, identities, and lessons into a tidy “market-ready” box. I am so many things and have worn many hats. I am an equestrian, a pilot, a mother, a wife, a scholar, an educator, a lover of science and art, and a seeker of balance across all things.

I am passionate about helping people learn how to communicate more effectively with their horses, and through this lens, helping them uncover parts of themselves that may have been suppressed by their experiences and conditioning.

I’ve joked that I’m a bit like a marriage counselor for people and their horses, but it is a pretty accurate metaphor. People come to me because they have a problem getting their (equine) partner to listen, which causes frustration, anger, resentment, and even fear. They consider divorce (sell the horse and give up on the dream), but instead they try a last-ditch effort to fix things – come to me, the “marriage counselor” … horse trainer.

I then observe the relationship and help both parties develop tools to meet the others’ needs. Most often, it’s the human who doesn’t realize that they’re misunderstanding their horse’s feedback and they’re not being as clear and trustworthy in their requests as they should be. And though I’m not actually a licensed counselor or therapist, the journey to becoming a better horseperson tends to reach deep inside us and there is immense potential for healing, reshaping, and rebalancing if we are open to extrapolating the lessons our horses reveal to us.

I’ve stepped into many roles in my attempt to help people in this way. I got a degree in Psychology. I’ve been a horse trainer since I was a teenager. I’ve taught lessons, clinics, ran non-profits, advised non-profits, developed educational pathways for riding programs, and more.

Today I’m working on concentrating my time and effort into educational modalities that can be most impactful to the greatest audience who is willing to put in the work. At this time, I travel anywhere in the world teaching clinics to help fully immerse people in a new way of developing an honest and balanced relationship with their horse. I am also developing an online course that explores how we can engage with horses in a way that improves their lives as well as our own. Relationships – of all kind – should be mutually beneficial. And how beautiful the world could be if we all asked what we could do to bring joy and benefit to those around us.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

Resilience, a love of learning, and conscientiousness have perhaps been most impactful for getting me where I am today. On a personal note, I’ve experienced seasons of life that would have broken some. And I truly don’t know why some people can experience similar traumas and some are affected more than others. But I’m grateful that I’ve been able to compartmentalize the traumas and struggles in my life, keep moving forward, and revisit them when I’m at a safe distance to be able to truly unpack them.

Perhaps going alongside resilience is my love for the learning process. Learning is messy and clumsy. Regardless of what we’re trying to learn, there is no way around the beginning stages. And it doesn’t feel good to stink at something. So it takes resilience, humor, and passion to be willing to fumble along as we learn. Finding comfort in that process is what allows people to rise to greatness because I’ve yet to find a field that has a finite end. People who are labeled the “Greatest _____ in the World” are still practicing and striving to get better. They are beginners at the next level that is beyond their reach.

Conscientiousness is our desire to not only keep practicing, but ensure our practice is thorough and correct. There’s a saying that “Practice doesn’t make perfect, practice makes permanent.” So focusing on creating good habits, and drawing awareness to what needs improved is what gives way to greatness. The true Greats are simply not satisfied with the height of mediocrity.

Something I wish I had learned earlier in life is to not be in a rush to be heard. I think it’s natural for us to want to be heard and seen as an authority in our field. But there’s so much to be learned and it’s easier to learn from listening. I could have saved myself a lot of learning the “hard way” if I wasn’t so stubborn and set on being right and doing it my way all the time.

Looking back over the past 12 months or so, what do you think has been your biggest area of improvement or growth?

I became a mom about 2 years ago and that has required me to restructure my life a fair bit. I think it’s a bit irresponsible to perpetuate the idea that parents (and especially moms) can keep living life as they did before they became parents. Things change. But that’s the point. Motherhood is beautiful and it shifted the focus from me (and my goals) being the center of my universe to my daughter and providing the guidance she needs to become a strong, compassionate, and joyful person. That doesn’t mean my personal and professional endeavors came to a screeching halt, it just means that I’ve had to get better at being truly efficient with my time. I’ve had to figure out what I’m actually trying to impact the world with and what helps bring me closer to that goal and what should be weeded out as time-consuming distractions.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.infinityhorsemanship.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/infinityhorsemanship
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/infinityhorsemanship

Image Credits

Neil Doppes