We recently connected with Ashley Page and have shared our conversation below.
Ashley , sincerely appreciate your selflessness in agreeing to discuss your mental health journey and how you overcame and persisted despite the challenges. Please share with our readers how you overcame. For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.
Growing up in a home where my parents taught me the value of faith and academic achievement, I knew how to trust God’s perfect plan for my life at a young age. They also told me I could be anything when I grew up, if it started with Doctor, Lawyer, or Astronaut. I remember standing on the stage of kindergarten graduation, the bright lights blinding me, and the small voices of my friends saying they wanted to be cowboys or unicorns. I felt pressured to declare a more “sensible” career path – so I proudly gripped the microphone and said “Lawyer”. However, my love for discovery, healing, and invention was evident. My father often tells stories of the makeshift incubators for my baby dolls or jetpacks that would zoom me around the house fashioned from shoeboxes, twist ties, and red solo cups. Science was my true passion. Science, like music, unlocked the intricate rhythms of life for me.
As I grew older, my unique sense of style and impressive shoe collection became an outward expression of my creativity and individuality. Little did I know this would later inspire my first released single, “Moonwalk” which encourages listeners to find the confidence to leave any toxic relationships with a little style and groove. Through my music, I hope to inspire others to embrace their authentic selves by promoting the importance of healing from trauma, overcoming pain, and trusting in God’s plan for their lives.
The early struggles of my journey were deeply rooted in a search for identity and self-love. I constantly felt unseen and unheard, surrounded by people who seemed cooler or more beautiful. I felt the weight of chasing good grades in high school and college, sacrificing fun while watching everyone else enjoy it. I often escaped into the worlds of books, my own short stories, and journal entries, losing myself in melodies I hummed, hoping to fill the gaps where words failed me in connecting with others. Even with my faith as a guide, I struggled to feel like I was seen by God when people around me demanded a different version of myself. This often left me feeling depressed and anxious about where I fit into the world.
After graduating from college amidst the chaos of COVID-19, my dreams of shadowing in a hospital were dashed against the hard plexiglass surfaces of face shields and protective partitions, making science and medical jobs very scarce. Eager to discover who I was beyond my parents’ expectations and to begin living life on my terms, I found myself newly engaged to my high school sweetheart and about to start a job at the only pharmaceutical laboratory that seemed to be hiring. However, this dream job turned into a nightmare as I faced a variety of discrimination and plain old high school bullying. Doubt consumed me, as depression, health issues, and anxiety attacks began to dictate my life for two long years. I found myself questioning if God even cared about me—how could so many bad things happen to me in a job that others would envy?
In the constant downpour of my grief for the life I thought I deserved after sacrificing so much, a friend recommended a podcast episode where the host shared his experience of knowing it was time to leave a job when the grace of God had been lifted from the season. As a child, I was taught that God’s grace acts like an umbrella in a storm—not necessarily preventing the storms but providing shelter during them. Simply put, when we step out from the umbrella, we get rained on. I began to pray fervently for wisdom and peace for my next steps but I worried about how the financial implications of leaving my job would impact my new marriage.
One day, crying at my desk, overwhelmed with emotion, I heard God’s voice telling me “If you pick a date to leave, I will bless it”. I drafted my two weeks’ notice, shared my revelation with my husband, and was greeted with his warm laugh and even warmer hugs. He said, “You could have left a long time ago. The quicker you leave, the quicker we can go on tour”. My husband is a touring musician and had the opportunity to go on an international tour that I would have to miss because of my job. In that moment, the seed of music began to grow and every song I had written in a dark place began to blossom. I realized that my passion for helping people could extend beyond medicine and into the realm of music. God’s plan for my life wasn’t limited to a specific career path or job. He had provisions for me in every season and occupation. My therapist told me, whether I realized it or not, I was already a rockstar.
As I embarked on this new chapter, I had to prioritize the importance of relinquishing control to God and trusting Him to fill the voids that I had previously attempted to fill with people and experiences that ultimately caused me harm. My dad and I practically used Proverbs 22:29, “See a man diligent in his business, and he will stand before kings,” as a greeting in our home. This became a foundational principle in my life, reminding me that my work ethic, skills, and diligence could not be ignored, even in the face of discrimination. After God, my dad was the second person, I would go to for encouragement and to be reminded of the many miracles I had seen God perform in my life.
Additionally, after suffering betrayal from my coworkers that pretended to be my friends, I found solace in the unexpected reunion with old acquaintances. Artists my husband had worked with for years began contacting me for opportunities. Some even became my close friends and support systems. Even as the toxicity began to dissipate from my life, I remained dedicated to my therapeutic journey, meeting regularly with my therapist, and taking an active role in choosing forgiveness. I would begin my day with prayer, petitioning God to heal my wounds, help me release the pain inflicted by those who had hurt me, and to help me forgive others just as he had forgiven me.
As time passed, the music flowed from me in the place of tears. My newfound strength, creativity, and the power of God’s transformative process allowed me to discover the even the most painful experiences could be used for artistic expression and personal growth. I now had a better understanding of peace that surpasses all understanding mentioned in Philippians 4:7. Now the old songs I had written in different moments of my life, found new relevance in my present situation. During a late-night gaming session playing “Death Stranding” on PlayStation, I started humming a familiar melody that had stuck with me since college. I told my husband I wanted to go to space and write a song that felt as freeing and peaceful as playing that game, and “Moonwalk” was born.
In reflecting on this journey and my struggles with depression and anxiety, I’ve come to learn that embracing my faith, prioritizing my mental health, and following my passion for music, I’ve been able to dance through the storms, covered by an umbrella of God’s grace. My artist name, “ashford…” is a meaningful representation of the significant identities that make me who I am. “Ash” is a nod to my given name, Ashley, while “ford” pays homage to my married name. The choice to lowercase my artist name symbolizes my desire to remain humble and never overshadow the presence of God in my life. Finally, the “…” serves as a reminder of my self-effacing nature and the idea that I am just “ashford…I guess”—a little emo girl still discovering the ever-changing galaxy of life.
I hope my story helps people to realize that faith doesn’t mean the absence of storms, but the ability to find beauty in them. As I continue to share my experiences through music and cultivate deep connections with fans and fellow artists, I aspire to leave them with one thought provoking message: I may never write the song that makes you feel sexy, but I will write the song that guides you toward healing to embrace the best version of yourself, so that you can.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
I was born and raised in Texas, where I met my husband during my sophomore year of high school. We instantly connected through our shared love of music; I enjoyed reading him my poems, while he loved dazzling me with his guitar riffs. With his lifelong dedication to music, he became an incredible support in my journey into the field, making my transition so much smoother.
We began collaborating on some of my old songs and discovered that my unique sound was a blend of various genres. After several late-night sessions and an intensive week of learning everything I could about Logic Pro, I started refining and developing my unique style. My husband always reminds me that to make a lasting impression, it’s essential to push the boundaries of your genre.
As a skilled and naturally talented guitarist with a background in R&B, jazz, and neo-soul, my husband’s influence on my music is undeniable. On the other hand, I bring my own flavor as an “elder emo” and metalhead with a love for deep, powerful basslines. This fusion of our individual styles has led some to assume we’re a duo, to which I jokingly respond, “We’re just married.”
My primary focus as an Alternative R&B artist is to create thought-provoking music that not only entertains but also provides a space for people to process complex emotions. Blending introspective songwriting with poetic storytelling, I illustrate the intricacies of life, love, and the journey of self-discovery. My background in science, medicine, and my faith further enriches my music, allowing me to weave elements of scientific discovery and nature into my songs, offering a unique perspective on the duality of human experience.
To achieve my distinctive sound, I combine lo-fi textures, heavy basslines, and soulful melodies, resulting in a sonic experience that encourages introspection and self-reflection. Beyond releasing music, I find great joy in being a homemaker and performing at local open mics as often as possible. I’ve also had the privilege of sharing the stage with my husband and my full band in Dallas. These experiences have enriched my musical journey and contributed to my artistic growth, helping me connect with audiences on a deeper level.
What excites me most about my work is the opportunity to touch people’s lives through my music. When I released “Moonwalk,” I had no expectations; I was simply proud of myself for pursuing my dream. Believing that 50 streams would be an achievement, considering the isolated place I was in after leaving my job, I severely underestimated the support I would receive. I was astonished when the song garnered over 1,000 streams within its first week, quickly reaching over 30,000 streams in the month. Despite battling imposter syndrome and negative thoughts, I’m grateful to have released music that has reached and resonated with so many.
I am thrilled to announce the upcoming release of my second single, “TAME,” in November 2024. This track delves into the complex emotions of being trapped in a toxic work environment—a subject that is deeply personal to me. “TAME” holds special significance, as it is the first song I produced and recorded independently, just a month after leaving my job.
Alongside the new music, I have been actively expanding my social media presence, connecting with fans (affectionately known as Ash-tronauts) and fellow artists. I am eagerly anticipating exciting collaborations in the near future, as I continue to push boundaries and explore new horizons within the realm of alternative R&B. All information about my shows and future opportunities is available on my social media accounts and website.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
Reflecting on my journey, I believe the three most impactful qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge were:
1. Self-awareness: Recognizing and understanding my strengths, weaknesses, and emotions allowed me to navigate challenges and make informed decisions. Understanding how God saw me helped me to fight the imposter syndrome and step into new challenges with confidence.
2. Patience and perseverance: Achieving success requires diligence and the ability to withstand setbacks. By focusing on long-term growth and resisting the allure of instant gratification, I remained committed to my goals. Additionally, being a good steward of the small wins, opened the bigger opportunities. I started playing at coffee shops regularly and found myself being booked for bigger events and shows.
3. Faith: Placing my trust in God and prioritizing my spiritual well-being provided me with the strength and guidance needed to overcome obstacles and realize my aspirations. God had a plan for my life before I was born. In trusting him, I began to see the beauty in the journey.
For those embarking on their own journey, I advise cultivating these qualities through regular self-reflection, setting achievable goals, and maintaining a strong support network. Furthermore, never be afraid to seek professional help, when necessary, as healing and personal growth are integral parts of success. Remember, the path to success may be challenging, but with patience, determination, and faith, you will achieve your dreams.
Okay, so before we go we always love to ask if you are looking for folks to partner or collaborate with?
I am actively seeking to collaborate with individuals who align with my core values and vision. Like many of the great artists before me, I am interested in finding ways to expand my brand into clothing and jewelry endeavors. My elaborate collection of “moon boots” have carried me through so many of life’s journeys and I always feel a little more confident in a great outfit. I would love to create unique merch for my music release and start a fashion movement of complementary accessories.
Naturally, I am constantly on the lookout for talented musicians, unique recording studios, and inspiring venues where I can perform and connect with my audience. I am a firm believer that without collaboration, life can start to sound like an echo chamber. I enjoy helping with songwriting sessions and look forward to working with artists that push me to articulate deeper stories.
In addition to collaborating within the music industry, I am passionate about storytelling and dream of working with movie production companies to bring my creative vision to life. I have not only written numerous songs, but also dabbled in writing manuscripts I wish to develop into novels and screenplays. I believe the synergy between music and film creates an immersive and captivating experience, and I am eager to explore the amazing possibilities that arise from these collaborations.
If you’re reading this and believe we could create something beautiful together, please don’t hesitate to reach out! You can connect with me through my social media platforms, website, or by sending an email. I’m excited to explore potential collaborations and innovative projects that bridge the gap between music, literature, and film,
Contact Info:
- Website: https://ashford.bandzoogle.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shesthatroyalty/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61566923357471
- Other: Spotify Link:
https://open.spotify.com/artist/11aKH5OM2VvJpCGSkF1ASA?si=9x-KWbBEQT6W_vsqNRsHow
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