We recently connected with Monique Cervantes and have shared our conversation below.
Monique, thrilled to have you on the platform as I think our readers can really benefit from your insights and experiences. In particular, we’d love to hear about how you think about burnout, avoiding or overcoming burnout, etc.
Wow, this is a great question. I’ve always been a delusionally optimistic person who believed I could do anything, which has served me well in developing commitment and determination.
On the flip side, when my delusional optimism does not take into account that I am human with human physical limitations, that has caused stress and frustration and anxiety. This, mixed with an unhealthy dose of people pleasing (where are all my people pleasers??), has caused me to over extend myself over and over again.
Between work, home life, kids, family, I felt like I had to be the one to do it all and “save” everyone, always stepping in before being asked to “help”, which turned into taking over and doing. I never considered how I was leaving nothing for me. Consistently ignoring my needs and desires, especially for rest, quiet, and alone time to recharge and reflect, not only led me to not recognize that I was being neglected, it also disconnected me from even knowing what my needs and desires were.
Until one day my body and mind could no longer be neglected. I mean, you can only keep putting yourself last for so long until you’re forced to put yourself first. This for me came in the way of what I now realize as anxiety and depression. If I didn’t feel like a zombie — extremely burnt out, brain fog, fatigue, low self confidence, no desire to do anything, then I was filled with suppressed rage that would occasionally escape via uncontrollably crying or screaming in the car by myself.
I knew I needed help, so I sought therapy. I desperately wanted to stop the rage and the brain fog because they made me feel so damn incompetent, and my kids deserved more from their mom. I now know what I needed was to get to a balanced place where I felt confident putting myself first without feeling guilty or feeling like a bad mom, or like I was disappointing others.
It ultimately came down to me being forced to save myself, put on my oxygen mask before helping others. I had to get to a level where I didn’t care about anyone other than myself and my kids. I was ready to disappoint everyone and burn every fucking bridge if needed to get to where I could be a healthy person, and a healthy mom.
And now, this is what keeps me putting myself first (or trying to), because I never want to go back to that place ever again. I meet with my therapist when needed, I journal, I dance, I speak up for myself more, and I say no a hell of a lot more now. I’m not quick to offer to help if I don’t have the capacity to do so AND still feel healthy. It’s taken a lot of hard work to get here and I try every day not to go back.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
Monique The Money Coach here and I love helping Black and Brown women & moms level up their money skills to finally build the savings, get out of debt, invest for retirement, invest for their kids, and feel good about the money decisions their making, all without sacrificing the things that bring them the most joy.
My signature package “From Good To Great” will teach you all the things you need to know to turn your six-figure income into a powerful resource to achieve the life of your dreams. In this six month, 1:1 coaching package, we work together to lay a strong financial foundation for you to meet your money goals while still doing the things you love, whether that be weekly brunch with friends, semi annual vacay, monthly hair & nail appointments, or daily lattes.
Black and Brown women, especially moms, always put others first. It’s time to put yourself first and get your money in order to live the life you desire and to be the example for your kids & future generations.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
I would say staying determined on your goals, being flexible to pivot when necessary, and not being afraid or too proud to ask for help have been the top three qualities that have helped me in business and in life. Always keeping in mind why you’re doing whatever it is you’re doing will help drive you to push through tough times. Being able to easily and quickly transition into something else will help keep you moving forward. Reaching out to experts, mentors, or at least someone who has been through what you’re going through and can help guide you through is essential for faster, easier growth.
One of the most important and transformative things I’ve ever done, and continue to do, is reach out for help through coaches, mentors, and peer groups, and I highly advise if anyone is trying to accomplish something, you don’t have to go it alone. There is help for you!
How would you describe your ideal client?
My ideal client is first and foremost Black and Brown moms. I feel very passionate about helping Black and Brown women and moms feel the freedom and relief that comes with having their money under control. When Black and Brown women are free from money stress and money worry, they are able to achieve so much more, and live much more joyful lives. Money is a particularly interesting area because when it’s going well, our quality of life and health is elevated — we’re lifted out of survival mode and begin to thrive. Our mental health is improved and our joy becomes infectious. On the flip side, when we are burdened with money stressed, our mental health and overall outlook and quality of life declines.
Other characteristics of an ideal client are open-mindedness, enthusiastic and determined to succeed, and ready and able to invest their time and money into meeting their goals.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.moniquethemoneycoach.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/moniquethemoneycoach/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MoniqueTheMoneyCoach
- Youtube: https://youtube.com/@moniquethemoneycoach
- Other: TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@moniquethemoneycoach
Image Credits
Monique Cervantes
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