We recently connected with Mercedelli Graciano and have shared our conversation below.
Mercedelli, we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?
Funny enough, within my private practice, I led a group that dealt with self-esteem building and I would always start the session with reminding them that there’s a difference between confidence and self-esteem. Confidence deals with our specific belief in an ability we possess. On the other hand, self-esteem is our regard for our self-worth and the feelings surrounding our value as a person.
Personally, I come from a long line of love. A lot of what and who I am today has to do with the love and support I was raised with and around. My paternal family played a significant part in my upbringing. They have done a great job at celebrating each individual as they are, within the family system. All this coupled with my genetic disposition of assertiveness and my mother’s hard work, brings about who I grew up to be. That said, the Emotionally Spoiled factors that nurtured me, along with the permission to be whoever I needed to be, in my fullness, allowed me to go through my developmental stages without skipping a beat.
Someone once asked me if I ever had an awkward stage; I didn’t know how to answer that. I’ve never been awkward. I’ve always confidently been me.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
Firstly, if you can’t find me as Mercedelli Graciano, try “Mercy G” LOL! I’ve lived many lives. Currently, I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and self-published author. I’ve done everything from train with Alvin Ailey’s Summer Dance Camp, while I was in Middle School to prepare the green-room for artists like Rihanna and Kim Kardashian, while I worked in the TV industry, during college. I’ve traveled the world of entertainment through a former career as a dancer/choreographer, actress, model and TV production assistant. Working with major networks like BET, MTV and Comedy Central as well as brands like Microsoft and Heineken, I learned the ropes of the industry and maneuvered through the many fast paced dynamics that come with it.
After changing my career path via the education sector, in a school setting, and seeing the need for emotional intelligence in our communities, I decided to give back by starting The Self Specialist, LLC. In an effort to help people become the best version of themselves my main focus is Self-Love with an understanding of Self-Awareness, Self-Care and Self-Control. Sometimes I drop a capsule collection with my original quotes on a hat or a tee to say the message louder. Those you can find on my website (www.theselfspecialist.com)
In the realm of purpose, there’s a huge side of me that loves to give back. I am part of the Big Brother Big Sister family. In the capacity of a Big, I impart social awareness and personal development tactics onto my Little. While I worked for the Department of Education in NYC, I started the first dance team, creative writing class and poetry club in the school where I worked. I also produced and ran many of the talent shows alongside a good friend who was the Assistant Principal at the time. I truly believe that children are the future, and we must preserve their innocence as well as foster their creativity.
When it comes to my own creativity. My dance training started when I was 7 years old, but I’ve been dancing since the womb, as per my grandmother. I’ve danced in after school talent shows during my elementary school years and went on to win first place at Nationals in the Hip Hop division when I was in High School. I attended Talent Unlimited HS for the Performing Arts in NYC; it’s also known as the FAME school because that’s where the movie was filmed back in the 70s, 80s. I continued to pursue my passion and so minored in dance and theater for undergrad. I just cannot escape the craft. My mother was also a professional dancer, so it’s safe to say that I am a product of nature and nurture.
As for my writing, poetry has been a release for me since I was 12 years old, at least that’s when I recall actually writing my first poem with paper and pen. In 2019 I self-published “The Awakening of My Senses”. The book takes us through the journey of falling in love, falling apart and ultimately understanding that self-love is key. I detail those transitions through poetry and prose in an effort to let people know that they are not alone with their feelings.
As far as TV goes, somehow the camera continues to find me. Fortunately, I have met amazing individuals throughout my TV career; I am either on their radar or their database and sometimes I get a call or an email with a proposition or contract of some sort. Most of the time I decline the gig because it’s just not beneficial to my brand at this time and I don’t ever do anything for the money. In 2022 I was chosen the premier episode for Lifetime’s “5 Guys a Week” which was a social experiment that dealt with 5 guys moving into a woman’s house, meeting family and friends over drinks or brunch and sharing one bathroom. I eliminated them accordingly. It was an interesting concept and I wanted to test my boundaries since I had been single for many years. Needless to say, I signed that contract, and the rest is literally TV history. However, these days you can catch me on Payback, a TV One true crime murder documentary that tells stories of revenge. I have worked on quite a few episodes during its first and second season. I go from narrating the story to providing my observation through a clinical lens based on the crime and those involved.
One thing I try to leave people with is that, “Some people do shi!t to be noticed. I do it to make a difference.”
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
My advice to folks who are early in their journey of self-development is to find what their purpose is. If you have no purpose, you have no guidance, no truth. There’s a lot of time and energy put into things that are not meant for you, if you walk around being a part of everything. Not everything is for everybody. Find your niche. If something calls you, exploring and trying it is ok, but what is not ok is staying in a place that does not benefit your growth. This is how people end up in soul-sucking situations. Learn from that one time and keep going! However, if that’s your place, if that’s where your soul rejoices, if that thing makes you feel full, STAY! It’s ok to change your mind as long as you are being truthful to your path.
I’ve found that through love for myself and trust in my truth, I’ve been able to discern a lot of things that were not aligned with my
purpose.
Did you catch that? The answer to the question is love, purpose and discernment.
To close, maybe we can chat about your parents and what they did that was particularly impactful for you?
The most impactful thing my parents did was, have me. I’m their impact on the world.
My father passed when I was 4 years old, but he left me a legacy that is still told to this day, of working hard, giving back, being there for family and always finding some time to dance or laugh. He gave me the fine detail of poetry. He used to write poems for my mom. On top of all that, he carried a loud tone of confidence that read as, “Don’t play with me! I am not the one!”
My father’s death led my mom to make the move from the Dominican Republic to the United States of America with my older brother and I. Destination? New York City; Washington Heights/Inwood to be exact. The area is now referred to as Little Dominican Republic, because of its large Dominican population. My mother gave up a career of celebrity for the betterment of her children. She has taught me resiliency, adaptability and how to be private about my personal life. One big memory I have from my childhood is that my mother never had friends over. Not only was she working her ass off and didn’t have the time, but there was also this undertone of, “we don’t welcome everyone into our home.”
As far as the most impactful thing my parents did for me directly… Harlow! My older brother has worn many hats in my life. He’s been a parental figure, my brother, my best friend, my biggest critic, my number one fan and the list goes on. He is my son’s uncle-grandpa and it’s vivid in their hilarious interactions. He teaches my son financial literacy and within minutes they are wrestling. That man is such a protector, cheerleader and teacher. He does it all with purpose and love.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.theselfspecialist.com/
- Instagram: ItsMercysWorld, TheSelfSpecialist, ItsMercysShop
- Linkedin: Mercedelli Graciano, LMHC
Image Credits
Sade Diaz, Nick Rolon, Nandy Estevez, Louis Rodriguez
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