Meet Christine A. Mosher, Licsw

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Christine A. Mosher, Licsw. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Christine A. below.

Hi Christine A. , thank you so much for joining us and opening up about the very personal topic of divorce. So many in the community are going through or have gone through divorce and we think hearing about how others dealt with the aftermath and managed to build a vibrant, successful life and career despite the trauma of divorce can be helpful to many who might be feeling a degree of hopelessness. So, maybe you can talk to us about how you overcame divorce?

Going through a divorce was the most difficult and painful experience of my life. I was devastated emotionally and financially. All the hopes and dreams I had for myself, my family and my future were crushed and I had no idea what I was going to do to overcome my grief and rebuild my life. My children were young adults…one was graduated from college and working, living on her own, and the other was about to enter his senior year of college. We had to sell our home because we could no longer pay the mortgage, so my children were no longer going to be able to come “home” for a visit or to stay in their old rooms or to celebrate holidays or birthdays there. My ex-husband and I went our separate ways, and I had to move back home with my parents in the town I grew up in. Even though we split the proceeds of the sale of the house, I had to use that money to pay off several bills and to live on for the next couple of years. I still had thousands of dollars in credit card debt that we had accumulated over the years as my husband’s business declined and we used credit cards to cover our living expenses and college costs. I felt humiliated, embarrassed and ashamed that my life and finances had become such a mess. I didn’t know how to get out of it. There were times when I was on the floor crying, praying, begging God to help me get through this. The turning point was when I was finally able to share the truth of my circumstances with my father, and he offered to help me pay off my credit cards by giving me a loan that I could afford to pay off over time with no interest. It was humbling to accept that I needed help, but also a huge relief. I was so thankful and grateful. I finally had a glimmer of hope that maybe I could move forward from this overwhelming situation. It took me two years, but I paid the entire debt off, and also saved enough money towards a down payment for a home of my own. I bought a condo, moved to a new town, created friends in a new community, started my own business, and learned how to live alone and support myself. I received support from my family and friends, and I also joined some divorce support groups that were helpful. I relied a lot on my faith and prayed regularly that I would someday recover from the pain, guilt and shame I was experiencing. Eventually, over time, I found my footing again and regained my sense of self that I had lost in the marriage. I developed new skills and rediscovered strengths that I forgot I had. I have grown so much through this experience and feel proud of all that I have accomplished. I hope that I have made my children proud, as well.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

I am currently working full-time in private practice as a psychotherapist in Buzzards Bay, MA. I see children starting from age 10 and up, adolescents and adults, individuals, couples and families. I specialize in treating athletes, being a former athlete myself, having played soccer at Boston College and coaching several youth, high school and women’s teams. I also started the Cape Cod Women’s Soccer League, the first women’s league in the region, which is still running over 20 years later.
I have also recently co-founded a consulting group to provide education, training and consultation to coaches, athletes and teams. We are working to normalize the conversation around athlete mental health and trying to help create a more positive and affirming sport culture. We have done several presentations discussing the importance of talking about mental health and wellness, recognizing they signs and symptoms of various mental health issues impacting athletes, promoting self-care, and teaching valuable coping skills to help athletes to thrive on and off the field. We see athletes as whole human beings, not just sport robots.
In addition, I also started a virtual support group for women going through divorce, using my own personal experience to help other women and create a supportive, empowering environment for women to share their stories and gain confidence as they navigate this difficult journey.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

Three qualities or skills or areas of knowledge; 1. Taking charge of your finances; learning how to budget and how to face your money issues, not ignore them. 2. Reaching out for support. You have to be vulnerable sometimes, admit your failures or shortcomings, and ask for help when you need it. 3. Believe in yourself; believe that you have the ability to improve your own life, make positive changes, and survive on your own two feet.
Advice: Seek out professional support from lawyers, accountants, women’s groups, your church, other people who have gone through what you’re going through, people who really understand and empathize with your issues because they have experienced them as well. Have faith that things will get better, and keep moving forward, step by step, no matter how small the steps are…and even if you can’t see what is ahead for you, just keep moving forward. Eventually, you will get there, reach your goals and create a better life for yourself, even if it wasn’t the life you thought you would have.

What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Any advice or strategies?

I often still feel overwhelmed and struggle with anxiety. I’m a daily worrier and I do a lot of things to help myself cope with my fears. I go to therapy, I take medication, I exercise regularly…I play golf, pickleball, take walks, run, kayak, hike….I get outside as much as possible, I socialize with friends and stay connected to my family and support systems. I reach out for help when I need it, I talk to my sister almost daily…we help each other. I provide support to others, as well, as I have empathy for their struggles, and like to feel that I can use my own personal experience and professional knowledge to help others. I am also constantly setting new goals for myself to challenge myself personally and professionally. Life is not easy, there are always going to be challenges and experiences that are difficult and painful, but we can get through them with faith, a belief in ourselves, and with the support of friends and family who love us.

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Christine A. Mosher

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