We were lucky to catch up with Jessica Downs recently and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Jessica, thank you so much for opening up with us about some important, but sometimes personal topics. One that really matters to us is overcoming Imposter Syndrome because we’ve seen how so many people are held back in life because of this and so we’d really appreciate hearing about how you overcame Imposter Syndrome.
I believe that to overcome anything, you first have to understand it – you have to get down, in the shadows, in the mess of it all. For me, I’ve experienced little flares of imposter syndrome as I moved from wild teen, to graduating college, to all of a sudden super-adulting as a teacher, mother, bill payer, and a human who had to take care of her own car repairs and insurance enrollment. It’s so natural to experience the growing pains and “how the hell did I get here” feelings of those early years of adult development. Talking to friends, my partner, spending time in nature – all those lovely coping skills you’ll find on the socials or with your therapist – those got me through the little imposter flare ups for a long time.
More time passed, I got another degree, started doing some really great work as a trauma therapist, and I was feeling pretty good with how my adult life was looking. That good work paved the way to more opportunities, and I was offered a position that would allow me to bridge my teaching career with my newer therapist career – I was going to begin training groups of therapists in the model I was using, over six full days.
After the excitement of this offer began to quiet, the reality started to settle in: this meant I would have to emerge from my little therapy corner, where I got to do my work quietly, behind the scenes, in one-on-one, 55 minute therapy sessions, and I would position myself as an expert in the field. I freaked out. Anxiety grabbed me by the throat, and held on tight. Sleep became tricky, connection felt hard, and those coping skills couldn’t touch it.
As a big believer in the work I do, I reached out to someone with similar training, and she helped me trace these big, rattling feelings upstream. The thing is, when you can’t manage the symptom itself, you have to go find the source. I started to unpack feelings of belonging that go way back. I had to ask myself, “When else have I felt this?” and “How old is this?” I had to do the work of retrieving those wounded parts of me that felt all the feelings that are so typical of adolescent years. I had to connect with what it means to truly belong. To see all the little things that make me who I am, and to honor and appreciate them. To take care of them, and no longer reject or cast them off.
It’s not an easy answer – no quick fix here, but it is lasting. Now, when I get those little flares of “You sure you belong here?”, I know where they come from, and that a little piece of me may need some nurturing.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
In my first career, I taught seniors in high school in a city that had experienced a mountain of trauma. With lots of trauma comes lots of dysregulation, which for kids, looks like “bad behavior.” I didn’t quite have that figured out, but I knew how to see humans beyond first impressions. It became super clear that behaviors settled as I took genuine interest and showed real care toward my students. I was fresh out of college, had acquired some solid skills in critical thinking, and put together that trauma was at the root of so many of the issues I was seeing.
I went back to school, earned a degree in Social Work, and honed my focus on trauma. After a few years of practice as a therapist, I started Live Well Counseling with my partner – also a therapist – which has grown into a group practice that serves approximately 200 people each week.
Throughout all of it, I have learned that the depth and capacity of humans is limitless. This value is at the core of everything I do – I hold this for my clients, as well as the therapists I teach and mentor, and the people I employ. I find so much satisfaction in providing an environment that allows people to come into the full expression of themselves. When I get out of alignment with that value, that’s when things start to feel funky.
Right now, the newest initiative coming from Live Well is a series of trainings we’re creating for therapists – some are directly related to EMDR and advancing skills, and others are about the development of the human that is the therapist – I’m finding so much flow as I lean into what the rest of my team brings to the process – it’s deeply satisfying to be a part of it.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Release and Non-attachment – It’s so important to have vision and goals – that’s the propeller that gets things moving. But it’s equally important to know when to loosen your grip on what you thought something should be, and to allow it to take its natural shape. When we can get out of our own way and our own attachment to being right, the best, or perfect, we make lots of space for creativity and for collaboration, which is where my best ideas and most impactful projects seem to come from.
Find your flow – You have to get curious and come to know what breathes life into you, or you’re just working. If you can find the tasks, skills, things you do that fill you up, getting really honest with what that looks like, and seeking more of it, I trust that your mind will help you puzzle ways to do more of it. That’s where you’re meant to be.
Hunger to know – Along with flow, an unending, insatiable desire to learn and know helps keep me inspired. I try to not keep my life siloed into work and personal development – I let it all integrate into who I am, and that informs what I do. My projects continue to have more meaning and life, the more I lean into that.
Awesome, really appreciate you opening up with us today and before we close maybe you can share a book recommendation with us. Has there been a book that’s been impactful in your growth and development?
“Living an Examined Life” by James Hollis. This book has been a companion to me for many years – I usually listen to it while I wander around in nature, just a chapter at a time. It’s designed to be a little meditative as the author gently prompts the reader to turn inside and explore patterns of behavior and relationship that might not be serving you. One piece I come back to regularly, as I’m exploring my roles, projects and decision-making is this:
“You are here to become yourself as fully as you can… You have within you a powerful source — call it your instinct, your intuition, your gut wisdom — which will always tell you what is right for you. Serve that, respect that.”
Considering our earlier conversation on imposter syndrome – you will never feel like an imposter when your life fully belongs to you. That way of living takes work – lots of unlearning and relearning – but what a worthy pursuit! To live a life where you are the main character, acting, creating, being. That alignment is where all the best stuff comes from.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.livewellcounselingcenter.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/live.well.counseling/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw%3D%3D#
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LiveWellCounselingCenterCO/videos/?_rdr
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessica-downs-lcsw/
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